The Educator's Guide to LGBT+ Inclusion. Kryss Shane
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is unique, there are plenty of middle school and high school students who identify their sexual orientation based on the feelings that they have, even if they have not had actual physical contact of a sexual nature.
Gender identity: Gender identity refers to a person’s internal sense of being male, female, somewhere in between, or somewhere completely outside of the gender binary. For many people, one’s gender identity corresponds with their biological facts; in other words, a person has female genitalia, and female DNA, and they identify as female. That makes the person cisgender. On the other hand, a person who identifies as transgender is someone who has external genitalia and DNA that do not match how that person sees themselves and how they identify in the world.
Gender expression: Gender expression relates to how a person chooses to communicate their gender identity to others through their clothing, hairstyles, manners, and behaviors. This may be conscious or subconscious. While most people’s understanding of gender expression relates to masculinity and femininity, the expressions of these can occur in a myriad of ways, typically related to the impact of product marketing, mass media, and gender norms that date back generations. This is why we identify things like lace and glitter as being feminine and things like leather as being more masculine. Some people may choose an item specifically to broadcast their gender identity, and others may choose it because they enjoy it or like the way it feels, even if it does not necessarily correlate with their gender identity.
To summarize, sexual orientation describes who you feel sexually/romantically/emotionally attracted to. Gender identity is the gender that you feel in your brain regardless of your genitalia. Gender expression is what clothing, hairstyle, and mannerisms your conscious or subconscious mind chooses when you present yourself to the world.
Now that we’ve covered the overarching umbrella terminology, let’s look at the terminology under these umbrellas.
Gay: A man who is romantically and sexually attracted to other males. This may also be used as a term that is more inclusive which would encompass gay men, lesbians, and people who identify as bisexual.
Lesbian: A woman whose romantic and sexual attraction is to other women.
Bisexual: A person who is sexually/romantically/emotionally attracted to both men and women, though not necessarily simultaneously. A bisexual person may not be attracted equally to both genders, and the degree of attraction may change over time.
Let’s talk about gender! In present-day American society, there is an overarching norm that gender is binary—that is, that there are two options (male or female). This is decided based on external genitalia. This is what is announced at “gender reveal parties,” as it is based on whether the fetus does or does not have a penis. Sex and gender are not the same thing. Sex is the chromosomal designation of a person’s genetics, whereas gender is a social construct. In other words, it should be called a “sex reveal party,” since no one will know how the child identifies their gender for some time yet!
How is gender guided by society? This begins before a person is even born. It includes when people ask whether the baby is a boy or a girl. It includes when parents begin to envision their child’s future extra-curricular activities (football or ballet, fixing cars or going shopping). It is often used to decide themes for baby showers, to send baby gifts, and to decorate nurseries. Pink and lace for girls; blue and trucks for boys. Check out the baby and child aisles in stores and you’ll see this on full display: lace and ruffles for girls, reinforced knees on pants for boys. Hair and makeup toys in pink packages for girls; wrestling action figures and superheroes in blue packages for boys. In the tween and teen sections of stores, girls’ areas are often filled with sparkly jewelry, whereas boys’ sections have items meant not to stain easily. Everywhere you look, society shows that girls must be petite, delicate, and appearance-based, and boys are meant to be rough and tumble. While this may not be news to you, have you ever considered that society is also showing that there are only two genders?
What is gender? Gender is the way a person identifies their place in a spectrum of masculine and feminine, or outside of that spectrum altogether. How do people identify themselves within this spectrum?
Transgender: A broad term meaning that a person’s gender identity does not match their assigned gender at birth.
Cisgender: A term to describe a person whose gender identity does match their assigned gender at birth. This means that transgender and cisgender are opposite terms.
Gender non-binary: A term to describe a person who identifies as a gender that is not male or female but may be a combination of the two or something different. (You may hear this abbreviated as “NB” and/or see this abbreviated in writing as “enby”—the phonetic pronunciation of NB. As the abbreviation of “NB” has long been in use in communities of color to indicate “non-Black,” “enby” is the most inclusive written form of abbreviation for non-binary.)
Gender fluid: A term to describe a person whose gender identity may change or evolve over time. This goes beyond a desire to wear a dress one day and pants the next, as this is not about gender expression and clothing or hairstyle but rather about the identity of a person and how they are in their gender from day to day.
Agender: A term to describe a person who does not identify as having a gender.
These identities are also why we have added the + to the LGBT+ in our language, and why you will typically see more recent publications or speeches referring to this population as LGBT+.
Note: Transgender, cisgender, gender non-binary, gender fluid, and agender are adjectives, not nouns. Just like Black, Asian, Hispanic, short, and tall. There is no such word as “transgendered,” as the word is not a verb, so it cannot have a past tense. Always put the word “person” after the gender-identifying word, as this is a word to describe someone. This is just the way you don’t see a “short,” you see a “short person.” You may see the term “male to female transgender person” or “female to male transgender person.” This has been used for quite some time to first identify the person’s gender assigned at birth and second identify the gender the person identifies as. For example, a “male to female transgender person” would indicate that the person was assumed by others to be a male person at birth (due to external genitalia) and now identifies and/or lives as a female person.
However, updated terminology has also caused some to redefine the categorization of transgender people because science is indicating that gender is being seen more and more as a social construct. This would mean that nobody is born with a gender, since nobody is born with an innate sense of social construct. With that in mind, the terminology is being changed. Now, the identity of a transgender person is typically described as “assigned female at birth” (AFAB) or “assigned male at birth” (AMAB).
Questions and answers
Q: How do I know what to call someone if I think they might be LGBT+?
A: If you aren’t sure what name to call someone, ask for their name, and they’ll tell you. This is the same for any person whose name you forgot. This is also the same for someone who was named Carter Joel, who prefers to be called CJ. This isn’t something specific to the LGBT+ community, although many feel anxious out of fear of offending a person in the LGBT+ community. In this case, when it comes to someone’s name, it is just the same as anyone else’s name, but you do not know, do not remember, or cannot recall what version of their name they may choose to go by.
Q: What about pronouns? How do I know whether to use he or she or…?
A: If you are uncertain about pronouns, ask, “What pronouns do you use?” It is considered most appropriate to ask the question that way, rather than to ask, “What is your preferred pronoun?” This is because “preferred” indicates that this is about preference and not about identity. You’re not asking a person which version of a pronoun they might prefer, like the way you may ask me if I prefer chocolate or vanilla ice cream and I might like one more than the other. Instead, you are asking what pronoun they use, just the way that someone might ask what racial background you are or height you are; this is not