The Educator's Guide to LGBT+ Inclusion. Kryss Shane
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may be referred to as “accomplices.” In the same way that a person who commits a crime may have an accomplice who helps them to commit a crime, the word “accomplice” is used to draw negative connotations to anyone who works to support the LGBT+ community.
How do you let people know that you are supportive? This is something that is much more introspective. Although we’ve discussed when this support is mandated by your profession, by your professional association, and by the rules and regulations you agreed to in order to become an educator in your specific school, how you support and how you let people know that you support is much more personal.
This leads us to consider how much you will stand up in support of the LGBT+ community. Is there something you are willing to say, but if you get a certain amount of pushback, you will sit quietly? This can cause us to ask: What are you willing to risk? Is there a line for you regarding who you are willing to upset, or how much you are willing to speak up and where you could be silenced? This is not rooted in judgment; different people have different priorities.
In some cases, it might be less risky for a person who has additional income to speak more loudly in support of the LGBT+ community because they are not financially risking their ability to pay their bills. In other situations, a person may have to choose whether to risk being suspended or terminated at work to support the LGBT+ community. While this is not intended to create a hierarchy of support among you and your colleagues, this is an internal or even a family conversation you may wish to have in advance so that you can make these decisions during a time at home rather than in the middle of a debate or problem situation.
Another question to consider is whether you would be willing to accept the stigma that comes with an LGBT+ identity. Often, our society believes that people only fight for those who are like them. It can cause people to question the personal identity of allies, advocates, or activists working for any marginalized groups. However, it is often much easier to see a person not identifying with a group they support when this differentiation is visible and prominent. For example, a white person participating in a protest or discussion for Black Lives Matter does not at any time appear to be a person of color. Since identifying as LGBT+ is not always visually apparent, supporting this community may cause some to make assumptions about one’s sexual orientation or gender identity. Thus, it is essential to consider how far you may be willing to go to support a community and at what point, if ever, you will feel the need to separate yourself from the community by making it clear to others that you are not a member of that community.
In some cases, this may feel like simply being honest or even showing others that this population deserves support and acceptance from everyone, not just from other LGBT+ people. In different situations, becoming vocal about one’s own gender identity or sexual orientation becomes a way to lessen the risk or minimize any backlash of participation of support. Again, there may not be a correct answer, but this is something you may wish to think through or talk through before events occur in which decisions would need to be made on this topic.
Let’s look at mistakes that are often made by those who do indeed mean well and are supportive of LGBT+ people. This is not intended to cause you to second-guess your support in the future, or to come down hard on yourself if you realize anything that follows may indicate a mistake you have made in the past. This is intended to shine a light on areas that may not have been highlighted and to provide new considerations for supportive behaviors moving forward.
Do you tell your colleagues if somebody identifies as LGBT+? Is this something that you tell because it is exciting gossip? Is this something that you discuss with the intention of preventing somebody from making a homophobic, biphobic, or transphobic comment in front of a person who identifies as LGBT+? While the aim here may be right, it is never appropriate to talk about a person’s sexuality or their gender unless they have given you specific permission to do so. Although you may mean well, this can create situations in which safety may become an issue for an LGBT+ person because there are some who do become violent, and because it means that the LGBT+ person does not know exactly who is aware of their identity. In addition, many states of America still allow a person to be fired for identifying as LGBT+. Even in cases where you think you are being helpful and where you absolutely mean well, outing an LGBT+ person at any time can put them at significant risk. Outing them in a workplace or to anyone who also works there can result in them losing their job. While this may not seem like a realistic situation because you know your colleagues, it is not always clear whose personal beliefs may cause them to create problems for an LGBT+ person.
Do you support equality specifically for the accolades and praise? While many people like to complete volunteer work or attend events in support of a minority group, it is essential to consider whether you would continue to support these organizations, people, and events even if you were never thanked, noticed, or praised for your support. Do you speak up when you hear bigotry? With its ongoing and consistent reports of violence against those in the LGBT+ community, the news has made it clear how frequently hate crimes occur. This means that anyone speaking up to support LGBT+ people in a public setting is taking a risk. This may be a minimal risk, or it may be more serious—for example, when involved in witnessing a violent act or some type of harassment against LGBT+ people. Do you have a line at which you stop supporting and stop helping? Acknowledging this in advance can help to prepare you for situations where you may have something occurring in front of you. Too often, people do not think through what they would do in a situation until they are in that situation. That can lead to feeling uncertain of how to respond or not responding at all. In these situations, someone’s safety may be directly threatened.
Knowing in advance how you would respond can help the person being victimized either because you choose to step in or because you are quickly able to find an alternative solution to help that person. Another consideration is whether and how much you would speak up in support of LGBT+ students and colleagues when it comes to your own family. It is common for people to be willing to step up or speak up when something is occurring in a public space between strangers. This is often because right and wrong can appear obvious. Plus, many people are not very concerned with what a stranger may think if they speak up. However, what about your own loved ones? Do you speak up if your spouse or child says something against LGBT+ people in their workplace or school? Do you speak up at a holiday meal when someone in your extended family says something negative about LGBT+ people? Often, there are no clear-cut answers. However, this may be a conversation to have with those you are closest to in advance, or before a large family gathering. In some cases, it may not make sense to challenge a grandparent in the moment. However, you may make the decision to address it with that person and with others at a different time.
Being mindful of this before the event can help to prevent anyone from believing that your silence in the moment equals an agreement to what was just said. Finally, do you self-identify to make sure that bigoted people know that you are not an LGBT+ person? While it may be intentional to identify otherwise when participating in political conversations, attending pride parades, or otherwise choosing to show that non-LGBT+ people also support LGBT+ people, it is also worth examining if there are times when you may want to self-identify so that you are not mistaken for an LGBT+ person. This leads back to the self-conversation of where the line of activism and support is for you.
Now that you have considered the above areas for yourself, within your relationship, within your family, and within your professional capacity, it is also important to identify ways in which it is possible to do better and to do more. Although there may be more LGBT+ representation in the media than ever before, the number of LGBT+ hate crimes that occur each year continues to grow. But this is a statistic that can be reversed with increased education of diversity and inclusion, which can lead to acceptance and lower experiences of violence.
One way to improve is to listen to your LGBT+ students and your LGBT+ colleagues. Being willing to hear the stories of LGBT+ people without interrupting them or turning the conversation back to you and your experiences allows that person to share their story and to feel heard as it is happening. While typical discussions are often a bit of a volley between participants listening and then sharing, specifically sharing experiences related to an LGBT+ identity can be very scary, especially for your students, who may be trying to discern whether or not you are a safe person they can trust. If a person decides to share with you, understand