Healing Her Boss's Heart. Dianne Drake
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better. I just saw things differently. His job was to secure the area and protect his officers, as well as innocent bystanders, on the scene. My job was to rescue injured people. We had different things to do, that’s all. Basically, he thought cop first, then everything else. I though paramedic first, then cop, then everything else. Sometimes you must make hard choices if a life is hanging in the balance. And I’m that balance, Doctor. For the person who’s dying in the middle of a crime scene I’m the only balance, and if I’m willing to take the risk, I should be the one to make the hard choice.”
Well, she was right about that. He’d spent years doing makeshift rescues in the mountains with untrained volunteers, and if that had taught him anything, it was that life was full of hard choices. He’d had to make too many of them over time. “The hard choice, until they fire you.”
“I haven’t been fired. They’re simply...” A broad smile spread across her face. “Who am I kidding? They’re not going to have me back. You know it, I know it and, most of all, they know it. This temporary suspension is their way of easing me out the door, keeping me on full benefits until I find a new position.”
“But you don’t seem that upset about it.”
“Life moves on. You either move with it or you get left behind. I’ve had a lot of experience with that, and the lesson I’ve learned is that I won’t get left behind. Never again.”
Even with all his qualms, he liked her hang-tough attitude. She wasn’t a quitter. “So, can you yank a deadweight body out?”
“Of course I can.” She flexed a very well-defined bicep muscle at him. “Part of doing what I do is the training and discipline it takes every day to stay in shape. I could yank your deadweight body out of any situation with no problem.” She grinned. “Want me to show you?”
Jack chuckled. “I think I’ll pass on that but, tell me, can you put in more than your fair share of backbreaking hours? Because that’s part of this. Sometimes putting aside personal life and plans. Sometimes staying out in the field until you think you can’t take another step, but you know you can’t quit. Can you do this? Can you accept that it may consume parts or all of your life at times?” The way it had his, until Evangeline and Alice...
“Yep,” she said, her smile growing wider. “That’s what I’m in it for—to do the work. Not the personal glory. I like being useful. Growing up, I never was. Never had a personal goal either, except putting myself in a position where I could make a difference.”
She was so...engaging, so buoyant it was almost catching. Damn. The last thing he wanted was to be caught up by anybody’s cheerfulness, but she was catching him, nevertheless. Evangeline had been so laid-back. Good, dedicated, compassionate but never up front with her feelings. Part of her Salish background. But here was Carrie, and she was a ticking time bomb of enthusiasm, ready to explode. He wasn’t sure what to do about it, because it intrigued him. The women in his life were mostly from the reservation or surrounding areas—mostly like Evangeline. And while he himself wasn’t a Native American, he’d practically grown up in their ways. Normal society ways mixed in with the traditional.
Ways that were not at all like Carrie’s. Admittedly, Carrie’s ways intrigued him. Maybe even made him a little bit nervous, because accepting Carrie would be a lot like playing with fire. And as he knew from the native ways he’d spent most of his life learning, fire was unpredictable. But it could be tamed. Yes, Carrie was fire. A basic element. And maybe fire was exactly what he needed right now...in his professional life, of course. Not in his personal. He didn’t allow himself one of those anymore. “So why not be a regular paramedic and keep yourself out of the line of fire, if saving lives is all you want?”
“Somebody’s got to do what I do, so why not me? Besides, I like advancing myself. Thought about being a doctor or a nurse—didn’t have the time or resources to pursue any of that. But being a paramedic always intrigued me because when it’s on, it’s so fast-paced you must rely on your instincts, and I’ve always had good instincts. So when I found out there were specialties in the field...” She shrugged. “What can I say? I wanted to advance. That’s who I am.”
“If I accept you into my program, and you do well with it, can I count on you to stay here? Because while your need might be advancement, my need is to train qualified rescuers who will take care of the basic needs in the area.”
“My life is pretty open. No one to keep me anywhere. No one place that’s calling me to settle down. So I’m open to almost anything. If you think I’m good enough, and I think I’m good enough—and that’s a big thing because I have to feel good enough—then there’s no reason I can’t stay. I don’t have any ties anywhere, Doctor. So I can be tied to Marrell, Montana, as well as anywhere else.”
“Well, the needs in Marrell are growing. Sinclair Hospital, the town, the population. We’re attracting all kinds of outsiders who either want to build a weekend cabin or retire here. Meaning we’re getting a lot of people moving in who are not used to the terrain. People who have this notion that the wild, outdoor life is for them. And they’re the ones we’re pulling down off mountains and ledges and out of trees. Which is why I need the best.”
“You think that’s me?”
“I don’t think anything yet. But you’ve made it to the third step of the interview process, which means I see some potential. Whether you turn yourself into the best is entirely up to you. And being the best comes with a job offer.”
“But if I don’t like the training, or decide I don’t want to pursue mountain and wilderness rescue, or if I simply don’t like Marrell? Then what?”
“Then you don’t stay. The rescuers I want are the ones who want to be here.”
“Fair enough.” She adjusted her body in the chair. Straightened her back, stretched her shoulders and frowned. “Do you like it here, Dr. Hanson? Like it enough to stay? Because I heard your job here is only temporary.”
“I was raised near here, came back to practice after medical school, and I’m back again. So, yes, I like it. As far as being temporary goes, no. My mom married the doctor who owned the hospital, and they are semiretired. As in they’ll pop back in to work when they feel the need or when we need them.”
“Do you run the hospital?” she asked him.
“No, Drs. Leanne and Caleb Carsten do. But I’m the assistant chief, probably by default, since Leanne has cut back on her schedule because she’s raising one child and pregnant with another, and Caleb is still on part-time status, as far as practicing goes. He was injured in Afghanistan, then injured again later, so he’s in serious rehab still, which limits his doctoring abilities right now. As a result, he spends most of his time in admin work and for the next couple of weeks he’s taking a break from that, rehab, because he and Leanne are in Boston, helping their son through a piano competition. He’s a prodigy.”
“Which leaves...”
Jack smiled. “Me, and a handful of part-timers who come in to cover various medical services.”
“Sounds...hectic.”
“It is, but it’s good to be back.” Well, parts of it were good. The rest of it...he’d just have to figure it out as he went. “And my mom was smart about how she persuaded me to come back. She knew the one thing that would keep me here would be the prospect of starting a real mountain and wilderness rescue program. It’s been my passion since I was a kid and began climbing mountains So she and Henry Sinclair dangled the carrot, and I bit.”
“Even though you’re a surgeon?”
“Best of both worlds. Here, I’ll get to do both as hospital services continue to expand.”
“Sounds to me like you’re happy.”
If only... But Carrie didn’t need to know about that gap in him, about that one thing that wouldn’t let happiness in. It was his price to pay. His burden to carry. Alone. He’d been doing it for five years now, and while it didn’t get any