The Secretary's Secret / Rodeo Daddy: The Secretary's Secret / Rodeo Daddy. Soraya Lane
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how much she tried, she would never be able to make that up to her baby. Ever.
Unless Alex had changed his mind and wasn’t going to walk away from his child after all. It seemed a slim hope.
A tap on her door brought her crashing back. Alex stood in the doorway. Her chest clenched. Had he heard what she’d just asked Caro? The pinched white lines around his mouth told her he probably had. She swallowed. But he didn’t care, did he? Not about her and not about the baby.
He’d wanted her to terminate her pregnancy!
Her heart burned. Sorrow and anger pulsed through her in equal measure. What did he care what safeguards she put in place to take care of her baby? He meant to leave again just as soon as it was humanly possible. She was sure of it. Her best guess was that he’d organise for Doreen and Caro to take it in shifts to look after her for the next couple of days so he could hightail it back to Sydney.
Perhaps she should confront him about that right now? It was just that the doctor had ordered her to rest—no stress, no worry. Yesterday she’d been feeling too fuzzy to take those orders in properly. But today … She swallowed. Today she’d do anything to keep her baby healthy. Fighting with Alex, confronting him about his intentions, had to wait. She raised an eyebrow. ‘You wanted something?’
He rubbed his nape. He didn’t meet her eyes. ‘I wanted to check if Caro was staying for a while. I need to pop out to grab a few things.’ His voice was devoid of all emotion.
‘Pop away,’ Caro said with an airy wave of her hand, not even looking at him.
Alex left without saying another word. Kit pleated the quilt cover with her fingers. ‘Do you think he’ll be back?’ Maybe he’d make that dash for Sydney right now.
‘Oh, I’m sure of it.’
She didn’t understand Caro’s grin but, before she could ask for an explanation, her friend said, ‘Snooze or a game of gin rummy?’
‘Ooh, go on. Break out the cards.’
* * *
The first thing Kit saw when she woke was the framed photograph of her ultrasound picture on her bedside table. She stared at it for a moment before hauling herself into a sitting position and reaching out to pick it up.
‘I thought it might help.’
The second thing she saw was Alex sitting in a dining room chair at the bottom of her bed. Her stomach tightened. She dismissed that as a symptom of her kidney infection. ‘Help?’
‘I thought it might give you added incentive to follow doctor’s orders and stay in bed.’
She had no intention of disobeying the doctor’s orders—her baby’s welfare was too important for that—but Alex’s thoughtfulness touched her all the same. She stared down at the picture, lightly ran her fingers over the glass, following the contours that made up her baby.
‘I couldn’t make head nor tail of it,’ he confessed.
It suddenly seemed wildly important to Kit that he did. ‘Head here—’ she pointed ‘—tail there.’
Alex didn’t move to get a better look and she remembered then that he didn’t want this child. She pressed the photo frame to her chest. She wanted to tell her baby that it didn’t matter.
Only it did matter. A lot.
‘Why are you sitting guard at the end of my bed?’
‘I didn’t want you getting up again unless you had to. I’m here to fetch and carry.’
Oh.
‘Caro said to ring if you needed anything.’
Caro had gone? How long had Kit been asleep for? She and Caro had played cards for over an hour and then she’d napped. She glanced at the clock. She’d napped for three hours! Caro would’ve had to leave to collect Davey from pre-school.
‘Your friend is a psychopath, by the way. Can I get you something to eat or drink?’
Kit’s lips twitched. She settled back more comfortably against her pillows. ‘No, thank you.’ She still had an almost full bottle of water on the bedside table. ‘I know Caro can come across as kind of scary, but she has my best interests at heart.’
‘I know,’ he said softly. ‘I’m glad you have such a good friend.’
She was so surprised she couldn’t speak.
He shifted on his chair. He was too big for it. It wasn’t the kind of chair made for lounging, but the only other option was to invite him to join her on the bed and no way on God’s green was she doing that. The last time they’d been in bed together …
It had been heaven.
Once the thought flitted into her mind, it lodged there—a stubborn, sensual reminder that pecked at her, teased her. All the sensations Alex had created in her with deft fingers and a teasing mouth, with the dark appreciation of his eyes and intakes of breath as she’d explored his body with as much thoroughness as he’d explored hers—exquisite, torturous reminders—they all flooded through her now and her body instantly came alive in some kind of primal response. She recalled with startling accuracy the taste of him, the feel of him against her tongue, her palms … his scent. The way he’d—
‘Kit!’
She jerked out of the recollection to find herself leaning towards Alex, breathing hard. Her name had scraped out of his mouth on a half-strangled choke. He was breathing as hard as her.
Oh, dear Lord! She wanted to close her eyes. She’d been staring at him, practically undressing him with her eyes and begging him to—
And his eyes had darkened in response. She swallowed. She’d recognized the answering hunger that had stretched across his face before it had been comprehensively snapped off from her view.
He shot out of his chair and pretended to adjust the blind. She knew he was giving them both time to pull themselves together again, but she couldn’t help noticing his hands weren’t any steadier than hers.
How could it be like this? How could she want him so badly when she didn’t even like him? How could he want her, knowing she was pregnant? She’d seen what the news of her pregnancy had done to him.
But he did want her. She read that too clearly to mistake it for anything else.
He raked a hand back through his hair. ‘I picked you up some magazines while I was out.’ He spoke to the window, not to her.
‘Thank you.’ She breathed a sigh of gratitude. Her voice was low, but at least it worked.
He finally turned. ‘I thought if you wanted I could haul your television in here and set it up so you at least have something to watch.’
She shook her head. ‘That’s not necessary.’ It’d only mean setting it back up out in the living room when she was well again. She suddenly frowned. Had too much sleep fogged her brain? ‘Alex, why are you still here? Don’t you have a company to run?’
‘The company isn’t important.’
She stilled at that, glanced down at the photo frame. Had he changed his mind about having a baby? Yesterday he’d been in shock and denial. But maybe today … ‘Are you trying to tell me that you’ve come around to the idea of being a father?’
‘No.’ The single word was inflexible. His face had gone impassive, emotionless. It was an expression she was starting to recognize, and loathe.
‘Then don’t you think it would be better for both of us if you just left?’
He didn’t say anything.
‘Between them, Caro and Doreen can take perfectly good care of me.’
He dragged a hand down his face then before seizing the chair and pulling it back a foot or