The Secretary's Secret / Rodeo Daddy: The Secretary's Secret / Rodeo Daddy. Soraya Lane
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it meant Doreen wouldn’t be available to look after her. Kit settled back again, chewing her lip.
‘And Doreen told me that Caro’s mother is arriving from England tomorrow and—’
‘Oh!’ Kit clapped a hand to her forehead. ‘Caro is collecting her from Sydney Airport. She’s leaving at the crack of dawn to get there in time. I forgot.’
‘She was going to change her plans and make other arrangements for her mother, but I told her not to. If you think I did wrong, then I can call her now and—’
‘No, no. Caro hasn’t seen her mum in over a year.’ And while Caro’s mother was staying for a month, Kit certainly wasn’t going to be responsible for delaying their reunion.
‘And we’ve all been trying to ring your grandmother,’ Alex continued, ‘but … ‘
Kit smiled faintly. ‘But she’s a gadabout who refuses to carry a mobile phone. If you leave her a message on Tuesday you might hear back by Friday.’
‘And your mother lives—’
‘In Brisbane,’ she finished for him.
She pressed her fingers to her temples. Think!
‘Kit?’
She glanced up.
‘I’m staying in Tuncurry until the weekend.’
‘But—’
‘It’s non-negotiable. There are things we need to discuss, but they can wait until you are well again. It’s just as easy for me to stay here and keep an eye on you than it is to book into a motel.’
Easy for who?
‘And it’s the least I can do.’
She sagged into her pillows, suddenly unutterably weary. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I know I hurt you, Kit.’
She wanted to look away, but those dark eyes of his held hers and something whispered between them. The memory of soaring together for one unforgettable night and touching the stars. No matter how much she wanted to deny it, this man had touched her soul. In that moment she recognized that she’d touched his too.
It didn’t mean they had a future together, though. She saw that just as clearly.
‘I hurt you, Kit, and I know I’m disappointing you now.’ He rested his head in his hands for a brief moment. ‘Knowing me has made your life worse. I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am about that.’
She blinked and then frowned. He looked as if he actually meant that.
‘Helping you out for the next two and a half days is the least I can do.’
Two and a half days? When he put it like that, it didn’t sound like much. And, frankly, there was no one else available because she had no intention whatsoever of imposing on either Caro or Doreen.
‘Don’t you think your baby’s welfare is more important than anything else at the moment?’
‘Yes,’ she whispered. She did. With all her heart.
‘So do I.’
She blinked and frowned. He did?
‘So why don’t we just do what the doctor ordered—you rest and I’ll be general dogsbody?’
She drew in a breath. What he was proposing, she may not like it, but it made sense. She let out the breath in an unsteady whoosh. ‘Okay, Alex.’ She nodded. ‘It seems to be the best solution. And … um … thank you.’
‘No thanks necessary,’ he said roughly.
She frowned suddenly, hitched up her chin. ‘But you know what? Regardless of what you think, being pregnant, that hasn’t made my life worse. Having a baby is wonderful.’
He turned grey. She shrugged. ‘I just want you to know that you don’t have to feel guilty about that. At least, not on my account.’
If he really did mean to walk away from his child, though, she hoped guilt would plague him every day of his sorry life.
He moved to fiddle with her CD player on the other side of the room. The sound of lapping water and soft squeals and gurgles filled the room.
She stared at him when he turned back around and then at the CD player. ‘What on earth is that?’
‘It’s called Sounds of the Sea.’ He shrugged and held up the CD case. ‘It’s supposed to be calming and relaxing.’
He’d bought her a relaxation CD!
‘I got it from one of those hippy places when I went shopping earlier.’ He rubbed the back of his neck and didn’t quite meet her eyes. ‘You know the doctor said you needed to relax. I thought the CD … ‘
‘I thought you went shopping for a change of clothes, a toothbrush.’
‘I did. And for food—your refrigerator was practically empty!’
‘There are plenty of frozen TV dinners.’ She shrugged at his stare. ‘I don’t cook.’
He planted his legs, hands on hips. ‘What do you mean, you don’t cook?’
She waved her hands in front of her face. ‘This is all beside the point. Alex, you’re doing my head in!’
One corner of his mouth kinked up. ‘I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention that to Caro.’
The silence between them filled with the laughter of dolphins—oddly hypnotic. She shook herself out from under its spell. He might find this amusing, but she’d lost her sense of humour. There was too much at stake for laughing. Her baby …
‘I just don’t get you at all. You wanted me to terminate my pregnancy—’
‘No, I didn’t! I—’
‘You threw up when I told you I was pregnant but now you’re doing everything you can to make sure the baby stays healthy.’
He was silent for a moment. ‘You want this baby, Kit. You’ve already given your heart to it. You love it. I would never take that away from you.’
Her chest clenched. Frustration, remembered joy and then the ensuing crushing desolation, Alex’s generosity as a lover and then his callousness the next day, it all rose up through her now. She didn’t understand him at all and yet she’d agreed to let him stay in her house.
She was having his baby!
She needed to understand at least some of what had happened between them or …
Or she’d have learned nothing.
‘You were the most incredible lover, Alex, generous and thoughtful. You made me feel beautiful and cherished.’ And loved, which just went to show how skewed her judgement had been.
He leapt up, going white at her words.
‘And then the next day you acted as if what had happened between us meant nothing. No, even less that that, as if what had happened between us was an aberration.’ She lifted her hands. ‘Why?’
‘It wouldn’t have been fair to let you think we had a future.’
‘But you were so utterly cold, so callous. You didn’t even bother trying to let me down gently. What did I do wrong? Please—I don’t ever want to make that same mistake again.’ She had a baby to think of. Her heart jammed in her throat. What if next time it wasn’t just her heart she broke but her child’s too? If her judgement about him could be so off, how could she ever trust it again?
‘How could you have changed so completely? What was that all about? Was it you? Or did I do something?’ She couldn’t hold the questions back. Her voice rose as each one burst from