A Sister’s Courage. Molly Green
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firm now, he and Maman would take over her life. She looked unwaveringly back at him.
‘You’re very stubborn,’ her father went on when she remained silent, ‘and that’s not always something to be proud of. You remind me so much of your mother.’ His face softened as he gave a rueful smile. ‘And I wouldn’t be saying this if I didn’t think the world of you both.’
She threw off his words with a laugh as if they were of no consequence to her, but deep inside she knew her father was right. She was stubborn. No matter how hard she tried to be tolerant, if someone couldn’t see things the way she did, she lost all patience.
‘Don’t you see, Raine, it’s because we love you and want the best for you.’
‘I want more from life than what you and Maman seem to have mapped out for me,’ she fairly snapped back. ‘A trainee accountant, for however long that lasts. And all I’d have at the end of it would be my name on a brass plate on the door. Can you imagine?’ She pulled a face.
‘You’d be a partner in time.’
Raine snorted. ‘Me? A woman?’ She rolled her eyes. ‘I doubt it. But it’s not what I want, anyway.’
‘Well, what do you want?’
Raine shook her head, her mouth tight. She knew she was letting her father down. That his dream had always been that she’d join his company one day and become a full-blown accountant. All because mathematics came easy to her. She wished she’d failed her mathematics test now. If she had, she might not be sitting here, facing her father, fighting for her future.
‘Didn’t you get any career advice at school?’
‘Oh, heaps.’ Raine rolled her eyes. ‘Nursing … teaching … secretary … vet’s assistant. Why didn’t they tell us to aim higher – become a doctor … or headmistress … or go into politics, now we have the vote? No, not that, on second thoughts,’ she added hastily, in case her father took her up on it. ‘Actually, I’d hate that.’
‘Strangely enough, you’d probably be good at it,’ he said. ‘You certainly wouldn’t let the opposition get a word in.’ He drew in another lungful of smoke, blew it out in a stream, some escaping through his nose, then ground the stub in his ashtray. ‘Well, I have to say, Lorraine, I’m disappointed. It would’ve been good to know when the day comes you’ll be there to carry on the name.’
Her heart squeezed as she studied her father. What was he hinting at? Now she thought about it, he was suddenly looking a lot older. Not just tired but exhausted. She felt a flash of sympathy for him. However hard he worked she knew it was never quite enough to keep Maman satisfied. But if she caved in, she’d be the one to be unhappy. She drew in a deep breath.
‘I want to do something exciting with my life. Something challenging – learning new skills.’ She gazed at her father, imploring him to understand. ‘Dad, have you forgotten what I told you I wanted to be that day at the flying circus?’
Her father momentarily closed his eyes and shook his head. ‘No, Raine, I haven’t. But if you won’t come into the business and you don’t have any other sound ideas, I think you’d better concentrate on getting a distinction in your Higher Certificate. That would make your mother proud that her faith in you is justified.’
‘But will you let me take flying lessons on weekends? I don’t want to put it off any longer. Please, Dad, say I can. You know it’s what I want to do more than anything in the world. I’ve never changed my mind. I’ll never be happy unless I can learn to fly.’ She held her breath.
He gave her a look she couldn’t fathom.
‘You’re not yet eighteen. Far too young to take flying lessons, and I know your mother will say the same.’
‘Boys no older than me are pilots.’ Raine held her father’s gaze. ‘If I’d been a boy, you wouldn’t have said that,’ she flashed. ‘Would you?’
‘I don’t know, love. I’m not used to sons. I’ve only got three lovely daughters.’
He smiled and she knew he was trying to soften the blow. But she wouldn’t allow herself to be softened. This was too important.
Her father lit another cigarette. ‘Well, Raine, I’ll have a word with your mother, but I don’t think it’ll get you anywhere.’
Raine frowned. ‘Why can’t you stand up to her for a change? Why does she always have to have the last word? She’ll never agree. She’s too French. All she wants is for me to look pretty and dress like a Frenchwoman and marry a rich man. Preferably on the other side of the Channel so she has an excuse to visit France. And that’s not what I want at all. What’s right for her is not right for me, but she’ll never see it.’
Her father patted her hand. ‘Enough, Raine. I’ve told you I’ll speak to her.’
‘No, I will not permit Lorraine to take lessons for flying.’ Simone’s voice rose.
When Raine had decided to go by the name she called herself when she was little – she couldn’t pronounce ‘Lorraine’ – her father had immediately humoured her, except when he was displeased. But her mother had simply ignored her request, telling her she was quite ridiculous to give up her lovely French name. And no amount of foot-stamping by the little girl would alter her mother’s attitude.
Now, in the sitting room, her parents were talking about her as though she wasn’t there. Raine pressed her lips together. She was old enough to be treated as an adult. She could make her own decisions. They must see how important it was for her.
‘Why won’t you?’ Raine demanded.
Her mother swung round, her eyes darkening with anger.
‘Because I say so.’
‘That’s not good enough, Maman,’ Raine said, pushing down her fury and speaking in a measured tone. If she showed any childish sign, her mother would leap on it. She knew that from past experience.
‘You had better explain to her, Robert.’ Simone gave a theatrical sigh and turned on her husband, her tone cool. ‘I’m going to take a headache pill and have a lie-down.’
‘I know we can afford it,’ Raine said when her mother had left the room. ‘And I’ll scream if Maman says one more time how dangerous it is. It’s no more dangerous than skiing and everyone does that without even thinking about it.’
‘Sit down, Raine. I’m afraid I have something to tell you, which your mother and I have tried to keep to ourselves rather than upset you girls.’
Raine perched on one of the leather armchairs, leaning forward. What on earth was coming? Her father drew his eyebrows together as he did when he had something important to say. She braced herself.
‘I’m glad we were able to give you and Suzanne a good education, darling, but we won’t be able to do the same for Ronnie.’
What’s he talking about? Oh, of course.
She breathed out. ‘Ronnie’s the first to admit she’s not brainy,’ Raine said, ‘so it would probably be wasted on her anyway.’
‘No education is ever wasted,’ her father reprimanded. ‘It’s not that at all. Ronnie deserves the same education as her sisters. But I won’t beat about the bush. You’re old enough to know the truth.’ He looked directly at Raine. ‘I’m afraid I’ve lost quite a lot of money.’
Raine gazed at her father in horror.
‘How?’
Her father wouldn’t meet her eye.
‘I don’t want to go into it at the moment,’ he said flatly. ‘Just take it from me that flying lessons are out of the question for the time being. So please don’t mention it again.’
‘What about Maman …?’