Modern Romance September 2017 Books 5 - 8. Кейт Хьюит
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‘I definitely need a new skirt,’ Allegra answered, laughing a little. ‘I’m not decent!’
‘I’ll ring a boutique right now.’ He draped his jacket over her as he shepherded her from the café into the waiting limo. Moments later they were stepping into one of Palermo’s best boutiques on the Via Liberta, several assistants already waiting to serve them.
Allegra was whisked away to a dressing room while Rafael sat on a white velvet settee, sipping champagne and scrolling through messages on his phone. This was more like it; he could take care of Allegra in the manner he wished to—and that she deserved—without actually having to engage her. She wasn’t even in the room.
‘What do you think?’ Allegra’s voice was soft and hesitant and Rafael looked up from his phone, his brain instantly going blank.
* * *
Allegra stared at the nonplussed look on Rafael’s face and wondered if she’d made a mistake. All afternoon she’d been trying to reach him, keeping up a cheerful one-sided conversation, determined to stay positive.
They’d shared a connection last night. She had to believe that, had to believe it had been real...and that they could have it again.
In the boutique’s dressing room she’d tried on several outfits, and then paused when the assistant had given her a sexy, slinky cocktail dress in soft black jersey. This one, she decided, she would show Rafael. See if she finally got some kind of reaction out of him. And now she was standing here, feeling faintly ridiculous, and Rafael was looking blank.
‘Well?’ She managed a laugh, and then she did a little twirl. ‘What do you think?’
‘I think...’ Rafael cleared his throat. ‘I think you look...’ He stopped, shaking his head as if to clear it. Allegra smiled. As far as reactions went, she’d take it.
She went back into the dressing room to change while the assistant took her clothes to the shop’s till. She was just pulling off the dress when the door opened.
‘I think I might need help with the zip,’ she said, and then to her shock Rafael answered.
‘I think I can do that.’
‘What are you doing...?’ Allegra began, her breath coming out in a soft sigh as Rafael gently tugged on the zip and then pressed his lips to the nape of her neck.
A shudder went through her and she swayed on her feet, flinging one hand out to brace herself as Rafael’s mouth moved down her back.
‘Someone will see...’ she murmured as he slid the dress further down so it pooled about her hips. She could feel the hard, hot strength of his body behind hers and she leaned back, sagging against him as he kissed the curve of her shoulder.
‘No one will see.’
‘They’ll know.’
‘I don’t care. I can’t see you in that dress and not touch you.’
Touch her but not talk to her. She’d spent all afternoon trying to reach him but it seemed he didn’t want conversation. He wanted this.
And so did she.
Rafael pressed against her and Allegra’s eyes fluttered closed. This was rather wonderful.
‘Signor Vitali? We just need your card...’ The musical voice of the assistant floated towards them and they both tensed. With what felt like superhuman effort Allegra moved away. She stepped out of the dress and reached for her clothes as Rafael left in search of the assistant.
They didn’t speak on the way home, twilight cloaking the mountains in soft violet. Rafael had withdrawn into himself again, his expression shuttered and distant as Allegra curled up in a corner of the limo and dozed.
Back at the villa he disappeared into his office and with a sigh she went to put away her new clothes, sifting through the day’s events in her mind. Was she crazy to try to break through the wall Rafael seemed determined on putting up? Foolish to try for more when for her whole life she’d settled for so much less?
Allegra sank onto her bed, her unseeing gaze resting on the moonlit hills outside the window. She’d come to Sicily because she’d believed it was best for her child. It had felt like a sacrifice, one she had been ready and willing to make.
But now? Now, when she’d felt so much pleasure and happiness and connection with Rafael? When she sensed his overprotective, controlling nature disguised a man who could be tender and loving?
Now she didn’t want to come to some arrangement where they married and raised their child together, but lived as virtual strangers. Now she wanted a proper husband...and not just in bed.
But how to go about getting it? Was she strong enough to reach Rafael, to keep trying even when he pulled away? To face failure and rejection and keep holding on? She wanted to be. She wanted to make this work.
The click of the door opening had her turning, her surprised gaze arrowing in on Rafael.
‘Is everything all right?’ she asked uncertainly, because he looked intent and serious and a little sad.
‘Now it is,’ he said, and relief rushed through her, along with desire, as Rafael came towards her and took her in his arms.
ALLEGRA GAZED AROUND the nursery with a smile of satisfaction. She’d made decorating the room her project over the last week, and she was proud of what she’d accomplished. Pale blue walls with stencilled white elephants cavorting across them, and a cot bed in blond oak with fresh blue sheets ready and waiting, although she didn’t actually know when their son would sleep in this room.
The doctors had said he’d be in the hospital for several weeks at least, and then she planned to keep him in a bassinet next to the bed for easy feeding in the night. Still, she was excited about the room, could picture herself in the oak rocker by the window, her son cradled against her chest, sunlight streaming through the window, the perfect picture of familial happiness. Almost.
A sigh escaping her, Allegra moved to the window and looked out at the dusty hills. It hadn’t rained in weeks and the air felt stuffy. Now in her sixth month of pregnancy, she felt huge and awkward and more than a little grumpy. She rested one hand on her belly, trying yet again to banish the fears that skirted her mind, threatened to swamp her heart.
For the last few weeks she and Rafael had reached a holding pattern of spending their nights together—and what wonderful nights they were—and the days mostly apart. While she couldn’t fault Rafael for his solicitude and kind concern, the remoteness she sensed in him, the careful emotional distance he always kept between them, made her want to scream.
She wanted more. She tried for more, but at every turn Rafael foiled her obvious conversational gambits, her clumsy attempts to increase their intimacy. Was this what love was? Because she thought—she feared—that she loved him. Or at least that she could let him, if he’d let her. If he opened up.
But since that first incredible night he’d stayed remote. He didn’t even spend the whole night with her when they made love. He held her for a little while afterwards, but he never slept with her and every morning Allegra woke to an empty bed and an aching heart.
She wanted more than this. She needed more than this. After a lifetime of trying to avoid intimacy and love, here she was, desperate for it. The very situation she’d been wary of had happened, and it felt as if there was nothing she could do about it.
‘I have to go to Naples.’
Allegra started in surprise at the sight of Rafael in the doorway of the nursery. She couldn’t tell anything from his usual, closed-off expression, but even so she felt a ripple of alarm. ‘Naples? Why? Is it business?’ He’d gone to Palermo several times a week, and Milan and Rome once each.
There