Modern Romance September 2017 Books 5 - 8. Кейт Хьюит
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finally, shocking her.
‘Your sister...but...’ She trailed off, unsure what to say. She’d thought he’d lost his sister, that she’d died. He’d spoken about her as if she was gone, and so Allegra had assumed the worst.
‘She’s not well,’ Rafael said abruptly. ‘I need to...go to her.’
Allegra stared at him, sensing the dark undercurrent of anxiety under his terse tone, and she ached to help. Wanted to comfort him, but knew he wouldn’t let her. And yet...if he kept her apart in this, what hope was there? How could she ever get closer to him?
‘Let me come with you,’ she said, part entreaty, part demand, and Rafael’s face shuttered.
‘No.’
‘Why not?’ Allegra challenged. ‘Please don’t keep shutting me out, Rafael, and pushing me away. If we’re going to have a child together, if we’re going to marry...’
‘You are being melodramatic. I haven’t pushed you away.’
‘Not at night,’ Allegra agreed, lifting her chin. ‘Not in bed. But in every other way you have. You know you have. I keep trying to reach you, and you keep refusing me. Please, Rafael, don’t refuse me in this. I want to support you...’
Rafael stared at her for a long moment, his expression both hard and bleak, and then he finally gave one quick, terse nod. ‘Fine,’ he said. ‘But I need to leave within the hour.’
* * *
He shouldn’t have let her come. A deep unease settled into Rafael’s gut as he climbed into the helicopter after Allegra. He hadn’t intended to let her come, of course he hadn’t. The last thing he wanted was for Allegra to see Angelica, see his shame.
But, he thought with a resolve tinged with despair, perhaps it was better this way. Perhaps, instead of having to maintain that careful distance, it would yawn between them, gape wide, because finally Allegra would see just what he was and how he’d failed.
The call had come that morning, from a doctor in Naples who had found his sister’s ID in her bag, as well as his name and phone number. She’d been discovered in an alley, unconscious, unresponsive. The last time the doctor had warned that another overdose could kill her. Angelica didn’t seem to care, and Rafael feared that was because she wanted to die. His father’s death had been quick, a single shot; his mother a slow, deliberate wasting away. Angelica was choosing self-destruction. And it was all his fault.
‘Is your sister ill?’ Allegra asked, shouting over the sound of the helicopter that would take them to Palermo for the short flight to Naples.
‘In a manner of speaking.’ Rafael turned to look out the window to avoid answering any more of Allegra’s questions. She would see soon enough what Angelica was like. What he was like.
And then? The unease he’d been feeling deepened into dark regret. Then things would be changed between them for ever.
They didn’t talk much on the flight to Naples; Allegra seemed to sense his mood and kept quiet, while Rafael kept his head down, his eyes on his tablet, dealing with work issues.
A car was waiting for them when they emerged from the airport, blinking in the afternoon sunlight, the muted roar of the city’s traffic, the raucous honking of horns and exclamations of passers-by hitting Rafael like a smack in the face. He didn’t like the busy, dirty streets of Naples. He’d offered a dozen times or more to pay for Angelica to move somewhere more congenial, but she’d always refused.
He gave the address of the hospital to the driver and then leaned back in the seat. Allegra looked at him in concern.
‘Won’t you tell me what’s going on?’ she asked quietly.
‘What is there to tell?’ Rafael shrugged, dismissing the question with a lift of his eyebrows. ‘My sister is in hospital.’ He paused, pressing his lips together. ‘A drug overdose.’
He could tell he’d shocked her with that one. And that was just the beginning.
‘What...?’ Allegra’s face crumpled with sympathy. ‘Oh, Rafael...’
‘Don’t.’ He shrugged away her compassion. ‘It happens often enough. And there’s nothing I’ve been able to do about it.’
Allegra lapsed into silence and Rafael looked away. He really shouldn’t have brought her, but perhaps it would, painfully, be for the best.
* * *
Allegra’s mouth was dry, her heart pinging in her chest, as she followed Rafael into the hospital lift. He pressed a button and then folded his arms over his chest, biceps bulging, face like an iron mask.
She’d been surprised and gratified when he’d agreed to let her come, but since he’d made that decision he’d seemed only to regret it, and he’d been colder and more remote that ever. She wondered if asking to come had been a mistake, and if Rafael would simply use this as a way to push her even further away.
The doors of the lift opened and Rafael strode out, while Allegra hurried to keep up. Then he was tapping perfunctorily on the door of a room before opening it and slipping inside. Allegra followed him.
The woman in the bed was asleep, dark lashes sweeping gaunt cheeks. Allegra stifled a gasp at the heart-wrenching sight of her—scars on each wrist and bruises and needle puncture marks scoring her arms in dozens of places. Her hair was dirty and tangled, her limbs scrawny, tendons sticking out like ropes. Rafael let out a shuddering breath. The woman’s eyes fluttered opened and then focused on Rafael.
‘You shouldn’t have come,’ she rasped out, her eyes burning like coals as she glared at him.
‘Of course I came.’ Rafael gazed at her for a moment, his expression closed and yet his eyes full of pain. ‘Why, Angelica?’
Angelica shook her head, her eyes closed again. ‘I don’t want to talk to you.’
‘Let me help you,’ Rafael said, his voice taking on a strident edge. ‘Please. There is a room waiting at the best clinic in Europe, in Switzerland. It’s luxurious, Angelica, and discreet. You’d want for nothing.’
Angelica shook her head again, without opening her eyes. Allegra’s heart started to splinter. She hated seeing Rafael like this, knowing how helpless, how hopeless, he must feel.
Rafael pressed his lips together, staring at his sister in a heart-breaking mix of grief and fury. ‘I’ve only wanted to help you, Angelica. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.’
Angelica opened her eyes, and Allegra stifled a gasp at the hatred and anger she saw in their depths. ‘Help me? When have you ever helped me?’ she demanded in a raw and ragged voice. Rafael flinched but didn’t reply. Didn’t defend himself. ‘Do you know what he did?’ Angelica demanded, turning to Allegra. She stared, speechless, unsure how to respond, how to feel. ‘Do you?’ Angelica’s voice rung out. Allegra licked her lips.
‘I... I don’t...’
‘He killed our father,’ Angelica spat. ‘He killed him. My brother only ever thought of himself. He didn’t...he couldn’t...’ She turned away, sobs tearing her chest.
Allegra had no idea what to say. She didn’t believe Angelica, the words of a vindictive and desperate drug addict, and yet...
Why wasn’t Rafael saying anything?
‘You can’t deny it, can you?’ Angelica said, her voice still coming in ragged gasps.
‘No,’ Rafael said after a moment. ‘I can’t.’
Shock rippled through Allegra. Rafael shot her a cold, hard glance. ‘Now you know,’ he said, but Allegra didn’t feel she knew anything.
‘Leave me,’ Angelica demanded in a low voice. She seemed drained, lifeless. ‘Leave me, I beg of you.’
Rafael gazed at his