The Ultimate Introduction to NLP: How to build a successful life. Richard Bandler
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her. You’ll regret it for the rest of your life if you don’t.’
As Joe looked up, he noticed a certain intensity in Alan’s eyes. What was all that about? He knew Alan was right, but even talking about his relationship made him feel worse. He decided to change the subject.
‘Work is a lot better,’ he said confidently. ‘I got a promotion, so I’m obviously delighted with that. Although,’ he went on more slowly, ‘I have found myself struggling with the new role at times. I have a lot more interaction with customers now and it’s just … I don’t think I’m a very good people person.’
Suddenly aware that Alan was studying him, he felt embarrassed.
‘Anyway, I make it sound worse than it actually is. I just think there are a few things NLP could help me with. You asked!’
He smiled sheepishly.
‘Just remember,’ Alan said, smiling back, ‘there’s no such thing as a people person. What can help is to learn to feel comfortable around others and become better at communicating with them.’
Joe nodded.
‘The seminar should help,’ Alan said reassuringly. ‘That’s it, you’re registered now, Joe. Best of luck!’
‘Thanks!’
No sooner had Joe turned around and started to walk towards the seminar room than he saw another familiar face.
Teresa, an Irish doctor he had met at his first seminar with Richard Bandler, threw her arms around him.
‘Joe, what a lovely surprise! Allow me to introduce my beautiful daughter, Emily.’
Emily looked to be in her mid to late teens. She had long red hair and was dressed in jeans and a Minnie Mouse t-shirt. She smiled politely as she shook hands with Joe.
‘So,’ Joe said, hoping to break the ice, ‘are you also new to all this, or am I the only one?’
‘I’m a first-timer,’ Emily replied. ‘I’ve just read a couple of books we have at home, that’s all. She’s the NLP expert of the family.’ She gestured towards her mother with her thumb. ‘You know what they say: “An old broom knows the dirty corners best.”’
‘Very funny, dear, but the only dirty corners I know are in your room!’ Teresa said in her warm, maternal voice. ‘Sure, I’ve been studying NLP for a couple of years, and I use it in my daily practice as well as in my personal life, but I’m no expert. In fact, the best lesson I learned from NLP is that “you’re never done learning”, as they say, so if you have the feeling that you know everything there is to know, you’re obviously missing out on something! And the worst thing is that you’re so blinded by your own certainty that you don’t even realize that you’re missing it.’
‘Wow,’ Joe said to Emily with a cheeky smile, ‘your mum’s cool!’
‘The best,’ Emily confirmed. ‘Sometimes I wonder if she’s for real!’
‘Oh, come on, you two!’ And with that, Teresa playfully slapped Joe’s shoulder.
As the three of them made their way towards the seminar room, Joe and Teresa began to catch up on what had been happening since they had last met. At one point, they stopped talking for a moment as they noticed a lady rummaging through her handbag. She was red-faced and looked extremely worried. Then, just as Joe and Teresa were about to ask if she was OK, she heaved a deep sigh of relief as she pulled a small mirror out of her bag.
Joe and Teresa exchanged glances, and he shook his head. All that stress over a makeup mirror, he thought. If this seminar is anything like the last, she’s really going to benefit from it.
Joe, Teresa and Emily went into the seminar room and found three seats together halfway up the centre aisle. Joe found himself placed between Teresa and a man in his fifties wearing a sharp suit and a pair of red designer glasses.
‘Hi, I’m Joe.’
‘Edgar Martin’s the name, changing lives is the game,’ said the man with a laugh. ‘Nice to meet you, Joe. What brings you here today?’
Joe grinned. ‘Long story short? A year ago I was in a bad place in my life and struggling with things. My sister convinced me to go to a seminar and, well, that turned some things around for me. I know NLP was involved, so I’m here to learn about it. How about you?’
‘That’s an interesting path you took, Joe,’ Edgar said. ‘I’m here to add a few tools to my toolbox, so to speak. I’m not a plumber, though. Well, maybe a plumber of the mind!’ Once again he laughed at his own joke. ‘I’m a psychiatrist and a psychotherapist.’
Joe smiled politely. ‘Cool,’ he said as he took out his personal journal.
‘Nice journal there, Joe,’ Edgar commented. ‘Do you take it everywhere you go?’
Joe nodded. ‘Well, not everywhere.’ He winked as he tried to match Edgar’s sense of humour, but all he got was a blank stare in response. Slightly red-faced, he continued, ‘I know from the last time that Richard Bandler teaches through stories, so you absorb a lot of ideas unconsciously, yet I also wanted to consciously capture some of his most memorable insights and observations throughout the workshop. I find taking notes to be a great way to review the key concepts and techniques.’
Edgar looked impressed. ‘It didn’t occur to me to bring along a journal, but I might look for one at the first break. Although really I should have brought my iPad – so I could have synchronized my database up here with my external memory!’
Pointing to his head, Edgar laughed again, while Joe nodded, this time failing to smile.
‘This is my first time learning from Richard,’ Edgar continued. ‘It’s just … I got so much from Alan, my first NLP trainer, that I figured it was time I learned from his mentor. Actually, Alan’s here today too, as an assistant.’
‘Oh, yes, I know Alan,’ Joe replied, suddenly intrigued. ‘What’s he like as a trainer?’
Before Edgar could answer, music began and Richard Bandler appeared at the back of the room. With a glance and a nod of the head, Edgar and Joe silently agreed to postpone their conversation. The seminar was about to begin.
Chapter 2
As Richard Bandler walked towards the stage, Joe stared at him curiously. He had heard that top executives, Olympic athletes and even presidents of countries had benefited from NLP, but he still wasn’t sure what it was all about. He really wanted to understand it properly, and as Richard Bandler had been one of the co-creators of the field in the early 1970s, this seminar seemed the perfect place to start. He opened his journal as Richard began to speak:
Let me begin by giving you the background to all of this. When it started out – well, it was actually a fluke. My training was primarily in mathematics, logic and science, and when I was in college I moved into a house owned by a psychiatrist, and it was filled with books. Being an avid reader, I started reading them, waiting to get to the point where they said what you could do to help a patient.
Unfortunately the only book that I found that told you how to do anything was the book that told you how to prescribe drugs. If people were depressed, you could prescribe antidepressants for them. The worst part was that many of the people who took antidepressants were still depressed. It’s not much good when you take the drug and you go, ‘My life is still all screwed up.’
Being the practical guy that I am, I couldn’t believe that was it, so I started investigating further.
Now, if there’s one thing that’s kept me moving over the years, it’s the will to find simple ways to do difficult things. And this search has brought me in touch with some truly amazing human beings. Today I’ll