Tall, Dark... Collection. Кэрол Мортимер
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wheel.
Despite her exhaustion Bella had lain awake in bed for hours the previous night, unable to stop thinking about Gabriel. About the wild ecstasy of their lovemaking. And then of his declaration that they shouldn’t have made love at all…!
Consequently it had been almost dawn before she had finally fallen asleep. Almost midday before she’d woke up again, feeling as if she hadn’t slept at all. Several hours, and half a dozen cups of black coffee later, before she’d summoned up the energy to dress and go out to shop for food.
Which was where she had obviously been when Gabriel had arrived at the cottage. Much earlier than she had expected—it was only a little after five o’clock—and looking much too rakishly handsome for Bella’s comfort in a black polo shirt and faded jeans.
‘Thanks,’ Bella accepted coolly as he carried half a dozen of the bags through to the kitchen for her. ‘Can I get you a coffee or anything?’ she said offhandedly, her face averted as she began to unpack the bags.
But—as usual!—she was still very much aware of Gabriel as he stood only a couple of feet away from her as she put the groceries away in the cupboards. Silently. Watchfully.
‘Better yet,’ she added brightly, ‘why don’t you make yourself useful and prepare the coffee while I finish putting these things away? Gabriel…?’she said uncertainly when he didn’t answer her. In fact, Bella realised with a frown, he hadn’t said a word since asking where she had been…
Gabriel looked at her quizzically, easily noting the dark shadows beneath her eyes, and the hollows of her cheeks, the pallor of her face thrown into stark relief by the fact that her hair was drawn back and secured at her crown with a toothed clasp.
Dressed in a deep pink T-shirt that clung to the fullness of her breasts, and jeans that emphasised the slenderness of her hips and legs, and with her face completely bare of make-up, Bella looked ten years younger than the twenty-six years she had only yesterday evening assured him she actually was.
Gabriel’s mouth tightened as he thought of yesterday evening. ‘I will make the coffee. Then I wish for the two of us to talk.’
She stiffened. ‘Not about last night, I hope?’
He gave a stiff inclination of his head. ‘Amongst other things.’
Bella made a movement of denial. ‘There’s nothing left for us to say about last night—’
‘There is everything for us to say about last night!’ Gabriel contradicted her furiously before visibly controlling himself. ‘I will not let you put even more barriers between us, Bella. If you prefer, I will talk, and you need only listen…?’
Bella eyed him warily, having no idea what he could have to say that she would want to listen to. He had said far too much last night!
‘And if I don’t like what you have to say?’ she challenged.
‘Then I will have to respect that,’ he said curtly.
Bella continued to look at him wordlessly for several long seconds before giving an abrupt nod of her head. ‘Fine,’ she said. ‘Just make the coffee first, hmm?’
What should have been a relaxed domestic scene, with Bella putting the groceries away and Gabriel making the pot of coffee, was anything but! Bella was far too aware of Gabriel—on every level—to feel in the least relaxed.
How could she possibly relax when Gabriel was just too vibrantly male? Too ruggedly handsome. Too physically overpowering. Too—too everything!
But, having finally put all the shopping away, two mugs of hot coffee poured and Gabriel already seated at the kitchen table, there was nothing else Bella could do to delay sitting down and listening while Gabriel talked.
‘Well?’ she prompted sharply after several seconds, the silence between them so absolute that Bella could hear every tick of the clock hanging on the wall above the dresser.
Gabriel’s expression was pained. ‘I realise you are still angry with me, Bella, but I do not believe I have done anything to deserve your contempt.’
Not recently, Bella acknowledged self-derisively, having accepted during her deliberations last night that she was just as responsible for what had happened between them the previous evening as Gabriel was. That she had wanted him as much as he had appeared to want her.
She sighed heavily. ‘I’m not angry, Gabriel,’ she admitted ruefully. ‘At least, not with you.’
He gave her a searching glance. ‘You are angry with yourself because we made love last night?’
‘We had sex last night, Gabriel—’
‘We made love—’
‘You can call it what you like, but we both know what it really was!’ Her eyes glittered angrily.
Gabriel drew in another controlling breath. ‘I thought I was going to talk and you were going to listen?’
‘Not if you’re going to say things I don’t agree with!’ she snapped.
Gabriel didn’t know whether to shake Bella or kiss her! Although he very much doubted that Bella would welcome either action in her present mood.
‘I will endeavour not to do so,’ he teased.
‘You just can’t guarantee it,’Bella acknowledged dryly.
Gabriel shrugged. ‘It is not always possible to know what is or is not going to anger you.’
‘Well, as long as you steer clear of last night or anything that happened five years ago, you should be on pretty safe ground!’
Gabriel grimaced. ‘Ah.’
Her eyes widened. ‘You are going to tell me about five years ago…?’
‘It was my intention to do so, yes.’
‘But—you’ve never wanted to talk about it!’
‘The situation has changed—Bella…?’he questioned as she stood up abruptly and moved to stand with her back to the room as she stared out of the kitchen window.
Bella’s neck was so delicately vulnerable, her back slender, her shoulders narrow—far too narrow, Gabriel acknowledged heavily, for her to have carried alone the burden of her pregnancy and then the bringing up of their son for the last four and a half years.
‘Please, Bella…?’ he asked again softly.
It felt as if Bella’s heart were actually being squeezed in her chest as she heard the gentleness in Gabriel’s tone.
When they were on the island she had asked Gabriel to tell her what really happened five years ago. At the time she had genuinely wanted to know the answer. But now—now when Bella already felt so vulnerable and exposed by her realised love for him, by the wildness of their lovemaking the previous evening—she really wasn’t sure she could bear to hear Gabriel talk about his feelings for another woman.
Especially if he were to tell her he still had those feelings for Janine Childe…!
Coward, a little voice inside her head taunted mockingly. Bella had always known that Gabriel hadn’t, didn’t, and never would love her, so what difference did it make if he was now willing to talk about five years ago?
It shouldn’t matter at all!
But it did…
Bella stiffened her shoulders, her expression deliberately unreadable as she turned back to face Gabriel. A defensive stance that almost crumbled as the gentleness she had heard in Gabriel’s tone was echoed in the darkness of his eyes as he looked across the kitchen at her.
Damn it, she didn’t want his pity!
She wanted his love. She had wanted that five years ago, and she wanted it even more now. But if she couldn’t have that then she certainly