Tall, Dark... Collection. Кэрол Мортимер
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a decisive inclination of his head. ‘First I need to tell you where I have been since we parted yesterday evening—’
‘You said we were going to talk about what happened five years ago!’ Bella cut in impatiently. Having built herself up, having placed a shield about her shaky emotions, Bella now needed to get this conversation over with before that barrier crumbled into dust!
Gabriel sighed at the interruption. ‘My actions since we parted yesterday are relevant to that past. Sit with me, Bella?’ Gabriel encouraged huskily as he saw that her face was paler than ever, those dark shadows beneath her eyes emphasised further by that pallor.
The fact that Bella actually did as he asked told Gabriel how much his presence, this conversation, had unsettled her. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Bella any more than he already had, and yet it seemed his mere presence had managed do that.
He rubbed his eyes wearily. ‘I will leave any time you ask me to do so, Bella.’
She gave a humourless smile. ‘Is that a promise?’
‘If you wish it, yes,’ Gabriel assured her wryly.
Her eyed widened at his compliance. ‘Are you sure you haven’t received a blow to the head while you’ve been away?’
‘Very funny, Bella,’ he drawled.
‘One tries,’ she teased lightly.
Gabriel wasn’t fooled for a moment by Bella’s attempt at levity, knew by the wariness in her eyes and the tension beside her mouth that it was only a façade.
As his own calm was only a façade.
A nerve pulsed beside the livid scar on Gabriel’s cheek. ‘Bella, when we were on the island you asked me what really happened five years ago, when three Formula One cars crashed and two other men were killed as a consequence. Do you still want to know the answer to that question?’
‘Yes, of course!’
‘And you will believe me if I tell you the truth?’
‘Of course I’ll believe you, Gabriel.’ She looked irritated that he should doubt it.
He smiled briefly. ‘As was stated at the time, the findings of the official enquiry were that it was a complete accident, but I knew—I have always known—that it was Paulo Descari, and not I, who was responsible for our three cars colliding.’
‘But—’ Bella gasped. ‘It was deliberate?’
Gabriel’s jaw clenched. ‘I believe so, yes.’
Bella stared at him, her expression once again blank. Why on earth would Paulo Descari have done such a thing? Unless…
‘Because Janine Childe had decided she had made a mistake? That she returned your love, after all?’ Bella realised heavily. ‘Had she told Paulo Descari she was ending their relationship in order to come back to you?’
Gabriel’s expression was grim as he stood up abruptly. ‘Neither of those things was possible, I am afraid, Bella,’ he rasped. ‘The first for the simple reason that there was no love on my side for Janine Childe to return. The second because it was I who had ended our brief relationship, and not the other way around as Janine so publicly claimed only hours after the accident. But I do believe Janine may have taunted Paulo with our relationship,’ he continued. ‘He tried to provoke an argument with me that morning, was so blind with jealousy that he would not believe me when I told him I had no feelings for Janine.’ He sighed heavily. ‘I was not physically responsible for the accident, Bella, but I have nevertheless always felt a certain guilt, not only because of my complete indifference to Janine, but because I survived and two other men did not.’
‘But that’s—You have no reason to feel guilty, Gabriel.’ Bella gasped. ‘You could so easily have died, too!’
‘And instead I am here. With you,’ Gabriel murmured huskily.
How long would it take for Bella to realise, to question, after the things he had just told her, the night the two of them had spent together five years ago?
Gabriel watched as the blankness left Bella’s face to be replaced with a frown, that frown disappearing, too, seconds later as she looked across at him questioningly.
Gabriel drew in a controlling breath. ‘I was unconscious for several days after the accident, and so was unable at the time to deny or confirm Janine’s claim that I had caused the accident because I was still in love with her.’ His top lip turned back contemptuously. ‘By the time I was well enough to deny her accusations I simply did not care to do so,’ he added flatly.
‘Why didn’t you?’ Bella demanded incredulously. ‘Surely you must have realised that Janine Childe’s claims gave people reason to continue to have doubts despite the findings of the official enquiry?’
His eyes narrowed. ‘Did you have reason to continue to doubt them, too, Bella?’
She shook her head vehemently. ‘Not over your innocence, no.’
Gabriel had thought, had hoped this would be easier than it was. But it wasn’t. Baring his soul in this way, with no idea of the outcome, was excruciating.
‘I don’t understand why you didn’t speak out, Gabriel,’ Bella said. ‘From what you’ve said, you were supposed to be the one who died that day!’
He turned away. ‘Jason was dead. As was Paulo. When people die, Bella, all that is left is the memories people who loved them have of them. What good did it do anyone, but especially Paulo and Jason’s families, for me to claim that one man had possibly been deliberately responsible for the death of the other?’
Bella could see the logic behind Gabriel’s words—she just couldn’t make any sense of it!
‘That was…very self-sacrificing, of you,’ she murmured gently.
‘More so than even I realised,’ he acknowledged harshly.
She looked up sharply as a realisation hit her. ‘You really didn’t make love to me that night because you were upset at losing Janine Childe to another man, did you?’
His smile was rueful. ‘No, I did not.’
‘Then—that morning you—’ She moistened dry lips. ‘You said you would call me. Did you really mean it?’
‘Yes.’
‘You did?’ The beat of Bella’s heart sounded very loud in her ears as her thoughts—her hopes, rose wildly.
‘I did,’Gabriel confirmed heavily. ‘Our night together had been—surprising.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes.’ Gabriel took a deep breath. ‘Unfortunately that altercation with Paulo meant I did not have chance to ring you before the practice session, and obviously I was unable to do so afterwards. Then, once I recovered and there had been no word from you, I believed you did not want to know.’
Bella’s hands were clenched so tightly that she could feel her nails piercing the skin of her palms. Gabriel hadn’t been in love with Janine Childe, not then and certainly not now. Gabriel had meant it that morning five years ago when he had said he would call her.
Tears blurred Bella’s vision, Gabriel just a hazy outline as he stood so still and silent across the kitchen. ‘I thought—I didn’t believe I would ever see you again after that night.’
‘A belief that became fact,’ Gabriel rasped.
‘But not because you wanted it that way!’ Bella protested achingly.
‘No.’
‘Gabriel, I—I don’t know what to say!’ She stood up restlessly. ‘I was sitting at home that night when the announcement of the crash came on the evening news. Saw the two bodies lying on the ground. You being carried away on a stretcher before they placed you in the ambulance and