The Letters, Volume 3. Cicero
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the result of which is extreme physical weakness also. When that is removed I shall join the man who is conducting the business, and is in a most hopeful state of mind. 21 Brutus is friendly: he is extremely enthusiastic in the cause. This is as far as I can go on paper with prudence. Good-bye.
About the second instalment, 22 pray consider with every possible care what ought to be done, as I mentioned in the letter conveyed to you by Pollex.
CDXII (F XIV, 6)
TO TERENTIA
EPIRUS, 15 JULY
It is not very often that there is anyone to whom I can entrust a letter, nor have I anything that I am willing to write. From your letter last received I understand that no estate has been able to find a purchaser. Wherefore pray consider how the person may be satisfied whose claims you know that I wish satisfied. As for the gratitude which our daughter expresses to you, I am not surprised that your services to her are such, that she is able to thank you on good grounds. If Pollex has not yet started, turn him out as soon as you can. Take care of your health.
15 July. [There is now a break in the correspondence for more than three months, in the course of which the fate of the Republic was decided. On the 7th of July, Caesar, after Pompey had pierced his lines and inflicted a defeat upon him, retreated into Thessaly. Pompey's exultant followers forced him to follow, and on the 9th of August the battle of Pharsalia drove Pompey to his retreat and death in Egypt, and made Caesar master of the Empire. The fleet, indeed, still held out, and took those of the Pompeians who had not been in the battle or had escaped from it to Africa and Spain. But Cicero (who was with the fleet at Corcyra) refused to join in continuing the war, and after staying some time at Patrae returned to Brundisium, having, it appears, received Caesar's permission through Dolabella to do so. At Brundisium, however, he waited many months, not venturing to approach Rome till Caesar's will was known. It is during his residence at Brundisium that the next thirty-three letters are written. The dates are according to the unreformed calendar—in advance of the true time as much perhaps as two months.)
CDXIII (F XIV, 12)
TO TERENTIA (AT ROME)
BRUNDISIUM, 4 NOVEMBER
You say that you are glad of my safe arrival in Italy. I only hope you may continue to be glad. But I am afraid that, disordered as I was by mental anguish and the signal injuries which I have received, I have taken a step involving complications which I may find some difficulty in unravelling. 23 Wherefore do your best to help me: yet what you can do I cannot think. It is no use your starting on a journey at such a time as this. The way is both long and unsafe; and I don't see what good you can do me if you do come. Good-bye.
Brundisium, 4 November.
CDXIV (A XI, 5)
TO ATTICUS (AT ROME)
BRUNDISIUM (4 NOVEMBER)
What the reasons were, and how distressing, peremptory, and unprecedented, which influenced me and compelled me to follow an impulsive feeling, so to speak, rather than deliberate thought, I cannot tell you in writing without the utmost anguish of mind. They were so powerful as to effect what you see. 24 Accordingly I cannot think of anything to say to you about my affairs or to ask of you. The actual result and the upshot of the whole business is before you. I have myself gathered from your letters-both the one written in conjunction with others, and the one in your own name—that (as I saw independently) being in a manner unnerved by the unexpected turn of affairs, you are trying to find other methods of protecting me. You say in your letter that you think I ought to come nearer, and make my journey through the towns by night: but I cannot at all see how that can possibly be done. For neither have I suitable stopping-places, in which I could possibly pass all the hours of daylight, nor for the object which you have in view does it much matter whether men see me in a town or on the road. However, I will consider even this, as I shall other plans, to see how it can be most advantageously managed. For myself, owing to my extraordinary uneasiness both of body and mind, I have been incapable of composing numerous letters: I have only answered those who have written to me. Pray write to Basilus and to others to whom you think it proper-even to Servilius 25 —in my name, and say whatever you think right. As to the long interval during which I have written nothing at all to you, you will understand from this letter that what I lacked was a subject to write about, not willingness to write. You ask about Vatinius. 26 I should not have wanted attentions from him nor from anyone else either, if they could have found any way to be of use to me. Quintus was completely alienated from me at Patrae His son came thither also from Corcyra. From that place I presume that they have started with the rest. 27
CDXV (F XIV, 19)
TO TERENTIA (AT ROME)
BRUNDISIUM (27 NOVEMBER)
In the midst of my terrible sorrows Tullia's ill-health causes me acute agony. But about that I need not write to you at any greater length; for you, I know well, are no less anxious than myself. You wish me to come nearer the city, and I see that I must do so. I would have done it even before, but many difficulties prevented me, which are not even now removed. However, I am expecting a letter from Pomponius: please see that it is conveyed to me as soon as possible. Be sure you take care of your health.
CDXVI (A XI, 6)
TO ATTICUS (AT ROME)
BRUNDISIUM, 27 NOVEMBER
I perceive that you are anxious both for your own and for our common fortunes, and above all for me and my sorrow, which, so far from being lessened by the association of yours with it, is thereby actually increased. Assuredly your sagacity has led you to divine the exact consolation that gives me the greatest relief. For you express approval of my policy, and say that in the circumstances what I did was the best thing I could do. You also add—what is of smaller importance in my eyes than your own opinion, and yet is not unimportant—that everybody else, everybody that is that matters, approves the step I have taken. If I thought that to be the case, it would lessen my pain. "Believe me," you say. I believe you of course, but I know how anxious you are to soothe my pain. Of abandoning the war I have not repented for a moment. So bloodthirsty were their sentiments, so close their alliance with barbarous tribes, that a scheme of proscription was formed-not against individuals, but whole classes—and the conviction was universally entertained by them that the property of you all was the prize of his victory. I say "you" advisedly: for even as to you personally there were never any but the harshest ideas. Wherefore I shall never repent of my decision: what I do repent of is my plan of procedure. I could have wished that I had rather remained in some town until invited to Italy. 28 I should have exposed myself to less remark and have felt less pain; this particular regret would not have been wringing my heart. To lie idle at Brundisium is vexatious in every point of view. As to coming nearer the city, as you advise, how can I do so without the lictors given me by the people? They cannot be taken from me as long as I am possessed of my civil rights. These lictors, as a temporary measure, when approaching the town, I caused to mingle with the crowd with only sticks in their hands, to prevent any attack on the part of the soldiery. 29 Since then I have confined myself to my house. 30 I wrote to ask Oppius and Balbus to turn over in their minds as to how they thought that I should approach Rome. I think they will advise my doing so. For they undertake that Caesar will be anxious not only to preserve, but to enhance my position, and they exhort me to be of good courage, and to hope for the most distinguished treatment in all respects. This they pledge themselves to and affirm. Yet I should have felt more sure of it, if I had remained where I was. But I am harping upon what is past. Look therefore, I beg of you, to what remains to be done and investigate the case in conjunction with them; and if you think it necessary and they approve, let Trebonius and Pansa and anyone else be called into council, that Caesar's approbation of my step may be the better secured as having been taken in accordance with the opinion of his own friends, and let them write and tell Caesar that whatever I have done I have done in