Brains Confounded by the Ode of Abū Shādūf Expounded. Yūsuf al-Shirbīnī
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bring him the bride looking like a buffalo bull, her face all daubed with ink and soot.63 Before her goes the bard with his rebab, while behind her the girls shriek their ululations and the brave lads walk with lanterns, scattering salt over her for fear of the Evil Eye. Before this they have disfigured her face with black and red and unveiled it at the Showing,64 by which evil custom she is turned into a spectacle for the public gaze—and this is one of their foulest deeds and most wretched ways, for it is a practice the Divine Law does not permit and that neither the Law’s theory nor its practice admit. Then they seat her on something high and the dressing women come and serenade her with songs appropriate to her state:
O bride! O Umm Ghālī!65
Show yourself and feel no fright!
Show yourself, with your face like an owl
Screeching in the night!
Your face all daubed looks like
A hyena’s among the dunes!
The hairpiece tied atop your head, no doubt about it,
Makes you look like Umm Mujbir,66 prowling among the tombs!
Groom! Arise and take your bride,
And mount today to the topmost rooms!
Make your bed on the stove and lie
There, whiling the night away!
Snort and whimper to him
Whatever calamities and foolishness you may,
And then you’ll suit him fine, my dear—
May your future all be fair!
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ثمّ إنّهم يجتمعوا حول العروس * وينادي بينهم رجل فلفوس * بيده شُعْلة من شرموط * هاتوا النُقوط * صاحب العرس تقي وأمان * هاتوا يا مشاه يا جدعان * فيعطيه الشخص منهم الدرهم والدرهمين * والبرمكي يرمي نصف أو نصفين * وبعد هذا يقبلوا على العروس * بوجوه كأنّها وجوه التيوس * وينادوا قمح والّا شعير * والّا سمسم مقشور غزير * فإن كانت مليحة قالوا قمح زَرّيع أو سمسم مقشور * وإن كانت قبيحة قالوا شعير نبت فوق الجسور * ثمّ إنّهم يُدْخِلوهما إلى الفرن أو البيت * ويُسْرِجوا لهم بشيء من عُكارة الزيت * ويفرشوا لهم شيء من التبن أو القَصَل * ويضعوا لهم وسائد محشيّة من قشر البَصَل * ويُغْلِقوا عليهما الباب * ويدقّوا لهم بالحجارة على الأعتاب * فإن أخذ وجهها هنّوه * وإلّا جرّسوه وهتكوه * وقالوا له شرقت البلاد * وهَتَكْتَنا بين الأولاد * فعرسهم هَتيكه * وفرحهم مُصيبه *
After this, they gather round the groom, while some reprobate, rag-torch in hand, calls out, “Cough up your money!67 The host is God-fearing and trustworthy! Hand it over, you foot soldiers, you brave lads!” At this, each of them gives him a dirham or two, and the master of ceremonies throws down a silver piece or two. Then they approach the bride, with faces like billygoats, and cry, “Wheat, or barley, or husked sesame aplenty?” If she’s pretty, they say, “Sprouting wheat!” or “Husked sesame!” But if she’s ugly they say, “Barley sprung wild atop the dikes!” Then they take the couple into the bake-oven or the house, light the lamp with a few dregs of oil, put down a little straw or shucks for them, lay out pillows stuffed with onion skins, shut the door on them, and beat stones for them68 on the threshold. If he takes her maidenhood, they give him their congratulations. If he fails, they hold him up to public ridicule and put him to shame, telling him, “You have brought disaster down on the villages and dishonored us among the boys!” Thus, their nuptials are a scandal and their weddings a disgrace.
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(ووليمتهم) الكِشْك والفول * ونوع من البقول * والأرز بالعسل يشبه الطين * والأرز باللبن يشبه طعام المجانين * وقد ذكر هذه الأوصاف صاحب الدُهُكْس حيث قال في القصيد [طويل]
Their banquets are of wheat groats and fava beans, with some kind of greens, and rice with honey, like mud, and rice with milk, like lunatics’ grub. The Master of The Drover’s Whip Handle69 refers to these traits when he says in the ode:
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| وَيَوْمَ عَمِلْنَا ٱلْعُرْسَ يَامَا رَقَصْنَا | وَيَامَا حَرَقْنَا قَشَّ جُوَّا ٱلْمَسَاطِحْ |
| وَنَصَّصْتُهَا بِالزُّنْطِ مِنْ فَوْقِ قِمَّتِي | وَكَانَ ٱنْهَدَمْ يَامَا قَشَعْنَا فَضَايِحْ |
| وَأَخْرَجْتُهَا لِلضَّوْءِ بَرّا ٱلزَّرِيبَهْ | بَقَا شَيْ يَقُولْ مُشْعِرْ وَشيْ يَقُولْ قَامِحْ |
| وَلِلْفُرْنِ جِينَا نَلْتَقِيهِ مُدَمَّسْ | بَقَى دِمْسُهُ يَا نَاسُ لِلْجَوِّ فَايِحْ |
| وَلَاقَشْتُهَا بِٱلطَّبْلِ قَالَتْ مُصِيبَهْ | وَعِدُّ دَوَاهِي وَٱنْتَ مَبْهُوتُ كَالِحْ |
The day we did the wedding, how we danced,
And how much straw we burned on the drying-grounds!70
I displayed her wearing the bonnet71 from off my head,
Which was all stove in, and what scandals we saw!
I brought her out to the light outside the byre,
And some said, “Barley-colored!” and some said, “Wheaten!”
To the oven we came and found it stoked,
The ashes, good people, exuding odors to the air.
I whispered sweet nothings to her to the sound of the drums. She said, “A disaster,
And so many72 calamities, and you’re gobsmacked and scowling!”
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