The Life and Letters of the Rev. George Mortimer, M.A. John Armstrong
Читать онлайн книгу.
and a richer, fuller baptism from above, to qualify me for the important, solemn duties which will soon engage my attention. I have been enabled lately to recall some of those lively feelings which I experienced when I thought of entering into the ministry; a love for immortal souls, and a desire to spend and be spent for them in every possible way, in a more constant feeling of earnest desire than when I was buried under an enormous load of academical lumber. I suffered myself to bear it as a mean to an end, but that end being obtained, I shall dismiss the larger portion for ever; what is useful I shall retain. However, I am now free from these incumbrances, and shall hope to improve my liberty by turning the habits thus acquired to beneficial purposes.”
Thus all seemed in a fair way for his immediate removal to Wellington, when an unexpected hinderance was put in the way of his ordination, by the bishop of the diocese. Such hinderances, in those days, to the dishonour of our Episcopal Bench, were frequently thrown in the way of men both of unimpeached character and of sound learning, to whose moral excellence and literary qualifications their respective colleges bore ample testimony; but they were men held in suspicion on account of their great attention to religious duties, and their warm attachment to the great doctrines of the Reformation: they were men of scriptural piety, and of sound Church-of-England principles; but they bore a name of reproach; they were considered as agitators in the Church, as holding extravagant views, and as going out of the ordinary path of formality and heartlessness, which characterized the great body of the Church in those days. Happily, such prejudices have, in a great measure, passed away, and no such obstacles exist to the ordination or preferment of men of such views and principles; not that such men are altogether exempt from slight and neglect, from discouragement and opposition, on the part of many of the rulers in the Church at this day; but they are now constrained by the weight of their character, by their well-known laborious habits in their pastoral duties, as well as by their wealth, their influence, and their number, to pay them some respect and attention; and, blessed be God! there are many of our ecclesiastical governors who now know the worth of such men, and who afford them all suitable encouragement and support.
Mr. Mortimer deeply felt this disappointment; but that God was pleased to make it the means of calling forth the exercise of his Christian grace, may be seen by the three following letters:—
TO HIS SISTER.
With a mind willing to acquiesce in whatever my God shall appoint, I am enabled to leave this and all my concerns to his gracious disposal, being fully persuaded that the Lord reigneth. If I have at all profited by past experience in anything, it is in this, a strong and operative conviction that so long as we trust in God, our concerns, however unpleasant at the time, will materially conduce to our welfare; and oh! what an intolerable load of foolish anxiety and trouble does this persuasion remove from our labouring minds! You will perhaps remember that one of the last topics of conversation, when you and Eliza so kindly accompanied me to the Wash, was the necessity of sacrificing our own will to others, if we would enjoy comfort ourselves. I was naturally led to speculate on the future, but could not help being forcibly struck with the mighty efficacy of this principle, if suffered to operate freely on our conduct.
As I think it very probable my continuance in college may be prolonged, I intend availing myself of the opportunity thus afforded me of attending a course of lectures on anatomy, chemistry and mineralogy. When I thought it my duty to ask for orders in March, I willingly gave up all thought of enjoying this gratification. I was enabled to sacrifice it to more important considerations, but since these reasons no longer exist, I shall gladly avail myself of the privilege.
Upon the subject of general knowledge for a minister, I was much pleased with Herbert’s “Priest to the Temple.” “The country parson is full of all knowledge: they say, that it is an ill mason that refuseth any stone, and there is no knowledge but serves either positively as it is, or else to illustrate some other knowledge: he condescends even to the knowledge of tillage and pasturage, and makes great use of them in teaching, because people by what they understand are best led to what they understand not.” As one means of preparing me for the great charge which lies before me, I have begun a regular course of the lives of eminently pious characters. The good I received from this kind of reading some years ago, makes me indulge the hope that it may be equally serviceable now; but I would not rest here—it is a real baptism of the Holy Spirit alone which can properly qualify me for usefulness in the pulpit, and a consistent course out of it.
TO THE REV. J. ARMSTRONG.
Q. C. Camb. Feb. 26, 1811.
My very dear Friend,
* * * * * * *
Since I last wrote to you I have been spending a few days at Islington; but my stay being very short, I was obliged to confine myself wholly to home. I visited but one person all this time. I had hoped, however, to have returned again soon, and to have done myself the pleasure of calling on my several friends; but a very unpleasant circumstance has hindered me—the bishop has refused me ordination at present: and I am under the necessity of waiting till it shall please my gracious God to show my path. My vicar is a notorious character, and my friends have all along been apprehensive lest I should find some difficulty in getting ordained to his curacy. I must say, I shall not be a little disappointed should I be obliged to relinquish all thought of Wellington; but the matter is in the Lord’s hands, and I would willingly leave it to his all-wise disposal. If I have learned anything by my past experience, it is this, to feel fully persuaded that all our concerns, however unpleasant they may be at the present, will, either in this world or in the world to come, terminate in our good. In affairs of this kind it is better to make as little fuss as possible: I must therefore beg you will not mention it to any one. I shall wait quietly for the present, in hope that the bishop may relent; but should not this be the case, I must content myself with some other situation. Poor G. is similarly circumstanced with myself; he has been refused three times, and that, too, in spite of the interest of the Master; he wishes to be ordained on his Coll. Fellowship, and that lover of the truth, the good Bishop of Ely, has every time put a spoke in his wheel. But what a mercy it is that, notwithstanding all the opposition which serious candidates meet with, still they are not, cannot be, entirely hindered and excluded! * * * * * *
And believe me to remain,
Your ever faithful and affectionate
Mortimer.
TO HIS SISTER.
Cambridge, March 2, 1811.
I had imagined, some months ago, that the exercise of mind I was under when preparing for the Senate House, was the greatest I should ever experience; I was greatly mistaken. O my sister, did you know how much I have felt lately, you would truly sympathise with me; but I now enjoy comparative rest; my feelings, indeed, have been strongly mixed, but the better have generally, though not without considerable struggle, predominated. I have enjoyed more of the power of vital religion, and that has been my support and stay; and would it but please my God to indulge me with more communion with himself, He might do with me and my poor concerns whatever might please Him. He alone is truly and absolutely necessary for my comfort, and would He but say, in my subsequent career, “My presence shall go with thee,” I should feel that enough. I could ask nothing more.
The clouds which overcast his prospect of ordination for the curacy of Wellington, were after a time dispersed, and he was admitted to deacon’s orders at Eccleshall, on the 26th of May, 1811, and on the following day he went to reside at Wellington. He not long after wrote to his sister, in reference to his new situation, as follows:—
“Through mercy I am going