The Collected Works of Anton Chekhov: Plays, Novellas, Short Stories, Diary & Letters. Anton Chekhov
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and of his learning; I received all his words and writings as inspired, and now? Now he has retired, and what is the total of his life? A blank! He is absolutely unknown, and his fame has burst like a soap-bubble. I have been deceived; I see that now, basely deceived.
ASTROFF comes in. He has his coat on, but is without his waistcoat or collar, and is slightly drunk. TELEGIN follows him, carrying a guitar.
ASTROFF. Play!
TELEGIN. But every one is asleep.
ASTROFF. Play!
TELEGIN begins to play softly.
ASTROFF. Are you alone here? No women about? [Sings with his arms akimbo.]
“The hut is cold, the fire is dead;
Where shall the master lay his head?”
The thunderstorm woke me. It was a heavy shower. What time is it?
VOITSKI. The devil only knows.
ASTROFF. I thought I heard Helena’s voice.
VOITSKI. She was here a moment ago.
ASTROFF. What a beautiful woman! [Looking at the medicine bottles on the table] Medicine, is it? What a variety we have; prescriptions from Moscow, from Kharkoff, from Tula! Why, he has been pestering all the towns of Russia with his gout! Is he ill, or simply shamming?
VOITSKI. He is really ill.
ASTROFF. What is the matter with you tonight? You seem sad. Is it because you are sorry for the professor?
VOITSKI. Leave me alone.
ASTROFF. Or in love with the professor’s wife?
VOITSKI. She is my friend.
ASTROFF. Already?
VOITSKI. What do you mean by “already”?
ASTROFF. A woman can only become a man’s friend after having first been his acquaintance and then his beloved — then she becomes his friend.
VOITSKI. What vulgar philosophy!
ASTROFF. What do you mean? Yes, I must confess I am getting vulgar, but then, you see, I am drunk. I usually only drink like this once a month. At such times my audacity and temerity know no bounds. I feel capable of anything. I attempt the most difficult operations and do them magnificently. The most brilliant plans for the future take shape in my head. I am no longer a poor fool of a doctor, but mankind’s greatest benefactor. I evolve my own system of philosophy and all of you seem to crawl at my feet like so many insects or microbes. [To TELEGIN] Play, Waffles!
TELEGIN. My dear boy, I would with all my heart, but do listen to reason; everybody in the house is asleep.
ASTROFF. Play!
TELEGIN plays softly.
ASTROFF. I want a drink. Come, we still have some brandy left. And then, as soon as it is day, you will come home with me. [He sees SONIA, who comes in at that moment.]
ASTROFF. I beg your pardon, I have no collar on.
[He goes out quickly, followed by TELEGIN.]
SONIA. Uncle Vanya, you and the doctor have been drinking! The good fellows have been getting together! It is all very well for him, he has always done it, but why do you follow his example? It looks dreadfully at your age.
VOITSKI. Age has nothing to do with it. When real life is wanting one must create an illusion. It is better than nothing.
SONIA. Our hay is all cut and rotting in these daily rains, and here you are busy creating illusions! You have given up the farm altogether. I have done all the work alone until I am at the end of my strength — [Frightened] Uncle! Your eyes are full of tears!
VOITSKI. Tears? Nonsense, there are no tears in my eyes. You looked at me then just as your dead mother used to, my darling — [He eagerly kisses her face and hands] My sister, my dearest sister, where are you now? Ah, if you only knew, if you only knew!
SONIA. If she only knew what, Uncle?
VOITSKI. My heart is bursting. It is awful. No matter, though. I must go. [He goes out.]
SONIA. [Knocks at the door] Dr. Astroff! Are you awake? Please come here for a minute.
ASTROFF. [Behind the door] In a moment.
He appears in a few seconds. He has put on his collar and waistcoat.
ASTROFF. What do you want?
SONIA. Drink as much as you please yourself if you don’t find it revolting, but I implore you not to let my uncle do it. It is bad for him.
ASTROFF. Very well; we won’t drink any more. I am going home at once. That is settled. It will be dawn by the time the horses are harnessed.
SONIA. It is still raining; wait till morning.
ASTROFF. The storm is blowing over. This is only the edge of it. I must go. And please don’t ask me to come and see your father any more. I tell him he has gout, and he says it is rheumatism. I tell him to lie down, and he sits up. To-day he refused to see me at all.
SONIA. He has been spoilt. [She looks in the sideboard] Won’t you have a bite to eat?
ASTROFF. Yes, please. I believe I will.
SONIA. I love to eat at night. I am sure we shall find something in here. They say that he has made a great many conquests in his life, and that the women have spoiled him. Here is some cheese for you.
[They stand eating by the sideboard.]
ASTROFF. I haven’t eaten anything to-day. Your father has a very difficult nature. [He takes a bottle out of the sideboard] May I? [He pours himself a glass of vodka] We are alone here, and I can speak frankly. Do you know, I could not stand living in this house for even a month? This atmosphere would stifle me. There is your father, entirely absorbed in his books, and his gout; there is your Uncle Vanya with his hypochondria, your grandmother, and finally, your stepmother —
SONIA. What about her?
ASTROFF. A human being should be entirely beautiful: the face, the clothes, the mind, the thoughts. Your stepmother is, of course, beautiful to look at, but don’t you see? She does nothing but sleep and eat and walk and bewitch us, and that is all. She has no responsibilities, everything is done for her — am I not right? And an idle life can never be a pure one. [A pause] However, I may be judging her too severely. Like your Uncle Vanya, I am discontented, and so we are both grumblers.
SONIA. Aren’t you satisfied with life?
ASTROFF. I like life as life, but I hate and despise it in a little Russian country village, and as far as my own personal life goes, by heaven! there is absolutely no redeeming feature about it. Haven’t you noticed if you are riding through a dark wood at night and see a little light shining ahead, how you forget your fatigue and the darkness and the sharp twigs that whip your face? I work, that you know — as no one else in the country works. Fate beats me on without rest; at times I suffer unendurably and I see no light ahead. I have no hope; I do not like people. It is long since I have loved any one.
SONIA. You love no one?
ASTROFF. Not a soul. I only feel a sort of tenderness for your old nurse for old-times’ sake. The peasants are all alike; they are stupid and live in dirt, and the educated people are hard to get along with. One gets tired of them. All our good friends are petty and shallow and see no farther than their own noses; in one word, they are dull. Those that have brains are hysterical, devoured with a mania for self-analysis. They whine, they hate, they pick faults everywhere with unhealthy sharpness. They sneak up to me sideways, look at me out of a corner of the eye, and say: “That man is a lunatic,” “That man is a wind-bag.” Or, if they don’t know what else to label me with, they say I am strange. I like the woods; that is strange. I don’t eat meat; that is strange, too. Simple, natural relations between man and man or man and nature do not exist. [He tries to go out; SONIA prevents him.]
SONIA. I beg you, I