The Taming of the Shrew. William Shakespeare
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BAPTISTA
What, in my sight?—Bianca, get thee in.
Exit BIANCA to her bench.
KATHERINE
What, will you not suffer me? Nay, now I see
She is your treasure, she must have a husband,
I must dance barefoot on her wedding day
And, for your love to her, lead apes in hell.
Exit KATHERINE to her bench.
BAPTISTA
Was ever gentleman thus grieved as I?
But who comes here?
Enter PETRUCHIO from his bench.
BAPTISTA
God save you, gentleman.
PETRUCHIO
And you, good sir. Pray, have you not a daughter
Called Katherina, fair and virtuous?
BAPTISTA
I have a daughter, sir, called Katherina.
PETRUCHIO
I am a gentleman of Verona, sir,
That hearing of her beauty and her wit,
Am bold to show myself a forward guest
Within your house
Petruchio is my name.
Tell me, if I get your daughter’s love,
What dowry shall I have with her to wife?
BAPTISTA
After my death, the one half of my lands,
And, in possession, twenty thousand crowns.
PETRUCHIO
I tell you, father,
I am as peremptory as she proud-minded;
And where two raging fires meet together,
They do consume the thing that feeds their fury.
So I to her and so she yields to me,
For I am rough and woo not like a babe.
O, how I long to have some chat with her!
BAPTISTA
Shall I send my daughter Kate to you?
PETRUCHIO
I pray you do. I’ll attend her here,
Exit BAPTISTA to his bench.
And woo her with some spirit when she comes!
Say that she rail, why then I’ll tell her plain
She sings as sweetly as a nightingale.
Say that she frown, I’ll say she looks as clear
As morning roses newly washed with dew.
But here she comes—and now, Petruchio, speak.
As if at a pro-wrestling match, ALL on either side of the stage root for and support their respective “fighters.” Those on stage right (GRUMIO, HORTENSIO, and CHORUS) root for PETRUCHIO; those on stage left (BAPTISTA, BIANCA, LUCENTIO, GREMIO, and CHORUS) root for KATHERINE.
Enter KATHERINE from her bench. One member of the CHORUS acts as her trainer and towels her down between rounds.
KATHERINE circles around PETRUCHIO, scowling and checking him out.
GRUMIO serves as PETRUCHIO’S trainer, looking in his eyes and toweling him off as if at a boxing match.
PETRUCHIO follows KATHERINE with his eyes. They stare at each other.
A CHORUS member plays “ding” on the triangle.
Another CHORUS member parades across the stage, holding a sign that says “Round 1.”
KATHERINE walks to stage left, and PETRUCHIO walks to stage right. They turn and begin walking toward each other. With each step they take, a drumbeat and a quiet rattle sound from a CHORUS member.
PETRUCHIO (circling around KATHERINE)
Good morrow, Kate (pauses), for that’s your name,
I hear.
KATHERINE
Well have you heard, but something hard of hearing.
They call me Katherine
ALL onstage yell in fear.
that do talk of me.
PETRUCHIO
You lie, in faith, for you are called plain Kate,
And bonny Kate, and sometimes Kate the curst.
But Kate, the prettiest Kate in Christendom,
and therefore, Kate,
Hearing thy mildness praised in every town,
Thy virtues spoke of, and thy beauty sounded
KATHERINE makes an ugly face at PETRUCHIO.
Myself am moved to woo thee for my wife.
PETRUCHIO kneels, gently takes KATHERINE’S arm, and kisses her hand.
KATHERINE
“Moved,” in good time! Let him that moved
you hither
Remove you hence.
KATHERINE knocks PETRUCHIO’S hat off his head.
STAGE LEFT CHORUS cheers for KATHERINE.
CHORUS member dings on triangle.
CHORUS member parades around the front of stage with a sign that says “Round 2.”
I knew you at the first
You were a movable.
PETRUCHIO (moving to sit on stool)
Why, what’s a movable?
KATHERINE
A joint stool.
PETRUCHIO is about to sit on stool when KATHERINE kicks it out from under him. PETRUCHIO falls to the ground.
STAGE LEFT CHORUS cheers for KATHERINE.
PETRUCHIO gracefully rolls off the ground and sits back on stool.
PETRUCHIO
Thou hast hit it. Come, sit on me.
PETRUCHIO