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are little better than false knaves, and it will go near to be thought so shortly. How answer you for yourselves?

       CONRADE.

       Marry, sir, we say we are none.

       DOGBERRY.

       A marvellous witty fellow, I assure you; but I will go about with him.

       Come you hither, sirrah; a word in your ear: sir, I say to you, it is

       thought you are false knaves.

       BORACHIO.

       Sir, I say to you we are none.

       DOGBERRY. Well, stand aside. Fore God, they are both in a tale. Have you writ down, that they are none?

       SEXTON. Master constable, you go not the way to examine: you must call forth the watch that are their accusers.

       DOGBERRY.

       Yea, marry, that’s the eftest way. Let the watch come forth.

       Masters, I charge you, in the prince’s name, accuse these men.

       FIRST WATCH. This man said, sir, that Don John, the prince’s brother, was a villain.

       DOGBERRY. Write down Prince John a villain. Why, this is flat perjury, to call a prince’s brother villain.

       BORACHIO.

       Master Constable,—

       DOGBERRY.

       Pray thee, fellow, peace: I do not like thy look, I promise thee.

       SEXTON.

       What heard you him say else?

       SECOND WATCH. Marry, that he had received a thousand ducats of Don John for accusing the Lady Hero wrongfully.

       DOGBERRY.

       Flat burglary as ever was committed.

       VERGES.

       Yea, by the mass, that it is.

       SEXTON. What else, fellow?

       FIRST WATCH. And that Count Claudio did mean, upon his words, to disgrace Hero before the whole assembly, and not marry her.

       DOGBERRY. O villain! thou wilt be condemned into everlasting redemption for this.

       SEXTON.

       What else?

       SECOND WATCH.

       This is all.

       SEXTON. And this is more, masters, than you can deny. Prince John is this morning secretly stolen away: Hero was in this manner accused, in this manner refused, and, upon the grief of this, suddenly died. Master Constable, let these men be bound, and brought to Leonato’s: I will go before and show him their examination.

       [Exit.]

       DOGBERRY.

       Come, let them be opinioned.

       VERGES.

       Let them be in the hands—

       CONRADE.

       Off, coxcomb!

       DOGBERRY. God’s my life! where’s the sexton? let him write down the prince’s officer coxcomb. Come, bind them. Thou naughty varlet!

       CONRADE.

       Away! you are an ass; you are an ass.

       DOGBERRY. Dost thou not suspect my place? Dost thou not suspect my years? O that he were here to write me down an ass! but, masters, remember that I am an ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass. No, thou villain, thou art full of piety, as shall be proved upon thee by good witness. I am a wise fellow; and, which is more, an officer; and, which is more, a householder; and, which is more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any in Messina; and one that knows the law, go to; and a rich fellow enough, go to; and a fellow that hath had losses; and one that hath two gowns, and everything handsome about him. Bring him away. O that I had been writ down an ass!

       [Exeunt.]

       ACT 5.

      Scene 1. Before LEONATO’S House.

       [Enter LEONATO and ANTONIO.]

       ANTONIO.

       If you go on thus, you will kill yourself

       And ‘tis not wisdom thus to second grief

       Against yourself.

       LEONATO.

       I pray thee, cease thy counsel,

       Which falls into mine ears as profitless

       As water in a sieve: give not me counsel;

       Nor let no comforter delight mine ear

       But such a one whose wrongs do suit with mine:

       Bring me a father that so lov’d his child,

       Whose joy of her is overwhelm’d like mine,

       And bid him speak to me of patience;

       Measure his woe the length and breadth of mine,

       And let it answer every strain for strain,

       As thus for thus and such a grief for such,

       In every lineament, branch, shape, and form:

       If such a one will smile, and stroke his beard;

       Bid sorrow wag, cry ‘hem’ when he should groan,

       Patch grief with proverbs; make misfortune drunk

       With candle-wasters; bring him yet to me,

       And I of him will gather patience.

       But there is no such man; for, brother, men

       Can counsel and speak comfort to that grief

       Which they themselves not feel; but, tasting it,

       Their counsel turns to passion, which before

       Would give preceptial medicine to rage,

       Fetter strong madness in a silken thread,

       Charm ache with air and agony with words.

       No, no; ‘tis all men’s office to speak patience

       To those that wring under the load of sorrow,

       But no man’s virtue nor sufficiency

       To be so moral when he shall endure

       The like himself. Therefore give me no counsel:

       My griefs cry louder than advertisement.

       ANTONIO.

       Therein do men from children nothing differ.

       LEONATO.

       I pray thee peace! I will be flesh and blood;

       For there was never yet philosopher

       That could endure the toothache patiently,

       However they have writ the style of gods

       And made a push at chance and sufferance.

       ANTONIO.

       Yet bend not all the harm upon yourself;

       Make those that do offend you suffer too.

       LEONATO.

       There thou speak’st reason: nay, I will do so.

       My soul doth tell me Hero is belied;

       And that shall Claudio know; so shall the prince,

       And all of them that thus dishonour her.

       ANTONIO.

       Here comes the prince and Claudio hastily.

       [Enter DON PEDRO and CLAUDIO.]

       DON PEDRO.

       Good den, good den.

       CLAUDIO.

       Good day to both of you.

       LEONATO.

       Hear you, my lords,—

       DON PEDRO.

       We have

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