Emma Ever After: A feel-good romantic comedy with a hilarious modern re-telling of Jane Austen. Brigid Coady
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was sweet, two boys who didn’t have a problem with affection. Almost like a puppy pile, she thought. In fact, as she looked at the group photos of the four, she saw they were all happy to invade each other’s space. There was no macho posturing.
If this was what the fans saw no wonder they had a great following, that easy intimacy made them real. They may have been put together as a business decision but they looked as if they were all best friends. As if they’d known each other forever.
The presentation finished on a photo of all four in an aforementioned puppy pile. Emma felt herself smile as she looked at it. It was just sweet enough, almost making your teeth ache but not quite. Why they needed her help she didn’t know.
‘And now you can see the problem we have,’ Si stated.
Problem? Emma wasn’t sure what he was on about. The boys had good, boy-next-door images. They were obviously close friends, even if they’d been constructed by management. With some closer than others.
‘Problem?’ She echoed.
Si actually rolled his eyes. She could feel the flush rise on her cheeks. She was good, but she wasn’t a mind reader. It wasn’t as if the boys were doing lines of coke off My Little Pony merchandise.
‘We go to the States next month for their next big tour there. The buzz is incredible and we need to keep it going, need to stop any rumours from starting up, and most importantly, we need to raise the boys profile. It’s always tricky in the US… Any whiff of something not…’ he paused. ‘… Standard, and they start returning tickets. We’ve decided that before any pesky fan driven rumours start, we’ll plant some of our own. And then follow it up with reality, that is where you come in.’
‘Rumours, then reality, okay,’ she repeated as her head tried to catch up.
‘Yes, something juicy and newsworthy.’ Si glared down the table at Will and Ed.
Will bumped his shoulder with Ed’s, his smile could only be described as smug.
Emma could feel Si almost vibrate with frustration, his nails almost gouging a line in the table.
‘As you know the best way to do that is to get girlfriends, and fast.’ He growled as if this was a conversation that had happened more than once before.
‘Look, he’s just annoyed that we all live in the same block of flats and don’t go out partying every night,’ Will called back, still smiling. She wondered how hard it was for him not to flip the finger at Si. Will slung an arm round Ed’s neck. Ed smiled and said nothing. She wasn’t sure whether Ed’s smile could be considered sweet or if he looked just as smug as Will.
It was obvious they were best friends, which was nice to see in the music business. And there was definitely an incredible amount of tension between Si and Will. If the band were really homebodies then they definitely needed to shake things up. A bit of partying and then they could quickly settle down into domestic bliss with a girlfriend. In fact, it was much easier when people actually wanted to settle down.
‘Can we just get on with it?’ Amit sounded bored.
‘All of you are getting girlfriends?’ Emma asked opening her notepad, holding a pen ready to take notes.
Damn it, her fingers were shaking. It must be the adrenaline and excitement. Running four high profile fauxmances was going to be tough, especially trying to make it all look organic, as if they had all fallen in love, because it would be weird for all of them to suddenly topple like dominos within the same month. That was the sort of thing that sparked fan conspiracy theories.
‘Sean here is good to go. He’ll be our single boy, so the fans think at least one of them is available,’ Si said as Sean waved lazily.
‘All the more girls for me,’ he laughed and rubbed his hands together in glee.
‘Not that much competition, mate.’ Ed rumbled from the other end of the table.
Si ignored him. ‘Amit needs one as well as them.’ The thumb he used to jab at Ed and Will, plus the viciousness of his voice, jolted Emma.
Okay…
‘So, if I could just get an idea of what you guys would look for in a girlfriend?’
There was silence, followed by a giggle from Sean. Will was staring at her like she was stupid.
‘No,’ said Si. ‘You don’t get it. This isn’t a dating show. This is about what sort of girl goes with their image. We’ve run the numbers and we’re not leaving anything to chance,’ he said as he passed over a thick printed handout. Bound.
Okay… She was used to managers being hands on with their clients plus all artists had images that went with their brand but this was… Wow.
She flicked through the document.
Impressive. Whoever did their analytics, she thought, was good.
She looked at the graphs, which showed exactly which demographic of the general public each boy was supposed to be attractive to. Who would be their key market. Then they’d split those groups of girls into what other things they liked, what brands they bought, what they watched. This was big business. It was all there in black and white. A marketing strategy in the making. Not bad for a band of boys who didn’t dance or play their own instruments. No wonder they weren’t leaving anything to chance.
‘But wouldn’t it be good if I got a chance to talk to the guys? Make it more organic?’
Statistics and data were great, it could get you so far, but what she did went beyond that. It was about the people. She wanted to understand what made them tick. She needed to choose a girl who at least had something in common with them. With Phil and Brooke, the thing that had broken the ice and made them be more than PR relationship had been a shared love of Sweet Factory, an over rated Eighties rock band, whose only big hit had been the nauseating Barley Sugar. She had only just about managed to talk them out of having that as their first dance. Sweet Factory might have been the truth, the grit in the oyster that grew the pearl, but no one needed to know, because it didn’t fit with the narrative. It didn’t make the final result any less real.
‘Nope, no talking with them. Not today, it would be a waste of everyone’s time. Everything you need is in the presentation and that book. I want you to have a presentation with a shortlist of likely candidates and how the narratives would work ready for the end of next week. We’ll be in then, you can talk to the boys while you coach them on what they need to know for the story.’ In one move, Si waved her away and clicked his fingers, summoning the boys to stand.
None of them moved straight away.
Amit raised his eyes to the ceiling as if he was so over it all and then rolled off his chair onto the floor, lying there for a moment as Sean laughed down at him. Next, Sean rolled off his chair to lay next to him on the floor.
How old were they, twelve?
Emma quickly checked their bios again. Nope, they were both twenty.
This could end up being a long-arse job.
It was worse than having Gee and Johnnie reliving their band days. Maybe there was something inherently childlike necessary for people to be in boybands?
‘Get up,’ Si hissed.
He didn’t seem to get a lot of respect from the guys, she thought, as she caught Will flipping Si the finger with his right hand.
His other hand was holding Ed’s as he pulled him from the chair.
‘Let’s go,’ Si barked. ‘Emma.’ He nodded at her and led the way out of the room.
Sean bounced up off the floor, came over, shook her hand and said, ‘See you next week.’
Amit lazily got up, waved a hand in her direction and winked.
She could only be thankful she had been exposed to the Gee Knightley experience, it had made her immune to the bad