Emma Ever After: A feel-good romantic comedy with a hilarious modern re-telling of Jane Austen. Brigid Coady
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more faded away to nothing. She grabbed the nearest drink to wash the bitterness away.
For a second he looked blank, then he smiled ruefully. His hand came up to touch her cheek before falling away.
‘How could you?’ His voice held a laugh that died quickly. ‘And he didn’t even win best celebrity smile.’
So no, Emma hadn’t ever told Gee that she’d had a whopping crush on him both before and after meeting him. That was the closest she’d ever got. And it was for the best… after all, they were still here a decade later. Friends.
She shook her memories away. It was old news. Everything was as it should be and nothing had changed. And it wouldn’t. Except they still didn’t have any ice.
‘George Knightley, move your arse and go get us some ice.’
‘Fine.’ He grabbed a hoodie and pulled it over his head.
Automatically she moved so she didn’t see the way his back lengthened and the small patch of skin that flirted at the top of his jeans. It didn’t stop her mind filling in the images, mind you.
But it wasn’t conscious these days.
Ten years of learnt behaviour. A decade of control.
Gee was on her plan, of course. How could he not be? He headed the column for best friend and potential ‘man of honour’ in the wedding.
Yeah, all completely under control.
***
‘I love your house,’ Jamie breathed as he came through the door, a few hours later.
Good, he’d come early.
Emma took a good look at him.
No. It just wouldn’t do.
‘Yes, it is a great house.’ She spun him round so she could see him from the back.
‘Eh, Emma, what exactly are you… you do know I’m gay?’ Jamie said worriedly.
‘What? Of course I do.’ How could he think she didn’t know? She had a very highly developed gaydar.
‘What I’m doing is making sure we make the most of your “assets”,’ she said as she spun him back to face her.
He sniggered.
She could feel her eyebrows rising. Did Jamie not know that this was a big deal tonight? He was going to make Dan Elton fall in love with him. And it would be as if Rob never existed.
They would become one of those cute couples like Harry Harville and Lewis Deakin, and then they would become PR power couple, she extrapolated in her head. They’d always be thankful that she had brought them together. She’d stop short of a double wedding with her faceless husband to be.
‘Don’t you mean “arse-ets”,’ Jamie giggled wiggling his eyebrows.
Emma’s plans cracked. What the… he was an idiot. She had to do this if only to save him from himself.
She watched as his smile fell when she didn’t laugh back and felt a pang. He didn’t get how important it was to have a plan which would take him places.
And, admittedly, he was a very pretty idiot.
‘Yeah, funny,’ she laughed half-heartedly. Would he buy it?
There was an uncomfortable pause as they stared at each other, Jamie biting his lip and starting to wrap his arms around himself like a pretzel.
‘Okay.’ She clapped her hands together like a demented kindergarten teacher. ‘I think we need to rethink that outfit.’ She could’ve have been less blunt with her opinion but they were operating on very little time. The party was almost about to start plus she needed to raid Gee’s wardrobe before he came back and put up some opposition.
‘But…’ he started, pulling his arms further around himself as if to stop her from ripping his clothes off.
‘No buts.’ She caught his arm and dragged him up the creaky staircase to the second floor where her room was.
She ignored the wide-eyed scared look he gave her and shoved him into the centre of the room. She stared at him appraisingly.
Well, that floral shirt needed to go. It was too fashion forward for Dan. He would be put off by anyone who looked quirky or too out there. He looked like the sort who wanted someone who was more conservative and sleek. Well-dressed but not showy.
The jeans however could stay, which was good because Jamie was a few inches taller, and a little slimmer, than Gee and she wasn’t sure his jeans would work. Besides, she didn’t have the guts to borrow Gee’s jeans. It seemed sacrilege to have someone else wearing them.
‘Hold on,’ she said, racing back down to the first floor where Gee’s room was.
Where was it? She threw herself into his wardrobe.
Why wasn’t he organised? It wasn’t messy, it was that he mixed his jeans and his shirts. Unlike his anal organisation of books downstairs.
She flicked through the hangers, clicking them back, one ear open for the front door to say that Gee was back. It wasn’t like he could tear the top off Jamie once he was wearing it, could he?
There it was! She smiled as she looked at the top she’d been looking for. He wouldn’t mind, would he? It wasn’t super expensive. Well, it wasn’t the most expensive thing in the wardrobe. Maybe the second.
Emma grabbed the long-sleeved T-shirt, which was wonderfully soft, and for a moment she remembered how it had felt to hug Gee in it, the way it fitted over his shoulders. She couldn’t stop bringing it to her nose.
Taking a deep breath in the silence, there was a noise. Was that a key in the lock? Taking the shirt from her face, she knew she was blushing even though no one had seen what she’d been doing. She took off at a run and rushed upstairs.
Bursting into her room and trying to catch her breath, she pushed the top at Jamie. ‘Put this on,’ she gasped
‘But…’ Jamie stood there letting it dangle from his hand, looking confused.
Honestly, were they letting just anyone work in PR these days? It was a shirt. Did he not get it? That you had to dress for the job you wanted. Although it might be great to express yourself exactly how you wanted, it didn’t get you places. You had to fit into the picture the way you were supposed to, otherwise you’d be overlooked.
She wondered how he’d gone through life not knowing this. Obviously, he didn’t have a life plan. She made a mental note to talk, him through that as soon as possible. Of course, she’d need to know what Dan’s plans were… okay they didn’t have time for this.
‘Jamie, the shirt you have on is lovely. Gorgeous in fact, but it doesn’t say “sophisticated” does it?’ Emma hated the hurt look that came over his face. He looked like a puppy that had been kicked. By her. Why was she the bad guy this week?
‘But it has a pussycat bow?’ His voice went high at the end.
‘Which is lovely, but I just think you should be a bit more neutral, go low key but high class.’
He looked uncertain.
‘Just try it and if you don’t feel comfortable…’ She let the sentence string out.
‘Okay.’ He flashed a smile and pulled off his shirt.
Yeah, Dan would be happy with that chest, she thought, objectively. That wasn’t a body to be wasted on Rob in Tech Dev.
‘This is very soft.’ Jamie’s voice sounded muffled. ‘But… this is Gucci. This is too expensive I can’t wear someone else’s Gucci shirt?’ He popped his head out of the top of the shirt and looked scared, patting the seams to make sure he hadn’t split them.
‘It’ll be fine. My housemate won’t mind you borrowing it,’