Emma Ever After: A feel-good romantic comedy with a hilarious modern re-telling of Jane Austen. Brigid Coady
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of those large battle plans, that commanders would lean over and push little tanks around on, with long sticks.
Her main objective had been achieved. Good. She found herself squinting into the distance. The two forces she wanted to engage were now in conversation. But that didn’t mean that she could ignore what else needed to be done. One conversation didn’t necessarily make a relationship. She looked around for reinforcements or any small romantic skirmishes she could help with.
Her gaze skittered over Gee. She ignored him, she didn’t want to drag him into her plans. He was like the UN observer; she knew he wouldn’t interfere in any of her plans if she left him alone. Maybe she should get him a light blue beanie? It would look good against his black hair, she mused.
She quickly pushed thoughts of him from her head and concentrated on the rest of her colleagues. Because that was who was really in here. She hadn’t invited any real friends.
Who would she have invited? And should she have done?
Mostly she hung out with Gee and his friends, a mix of disreputable over the hill musos and the occasional producer, she supposed they were her friends too. And there was Johnnie, of course, Gee’s old band mate and then there was Mick. Actually, it was good that Mick wasn’t here. Of all of Gee’s friends he was the most famous and she wasn’t sure these people wouldn’t have lost their cool. Mick hosted the highest rated national radio breakfast show and had recently moved into TV presenting.
Any music person or actor in their right mind wanted to be invited on his show. Even if it meant he ripped them to shreds.
Yeah, it was a good thing Mick was missing.
Harry and Lew were in LA, and she missed Lew’s cynical but sympathetic opinions and Harry’s hugs. Even if they refused to introduce her to Austen Wentworth.
She had friends from uni, Keris and Katey, who’d been in halls with her. But what did they have in common anymore? Keris had a plan like hers, cutting out anything extraneous that distracted her from getting to the top, from becoming partner in the law firm she’d sold her soul to. And Emma could understand that. It was something you had to do if you wanted to make sure you had security, safety.
And Katey, well, she just wasn’t focused. She only wanted to talk about her waste of space boyfriend, Gary, who was in a dead-end job. What was it again? God, it frustrated her. Didn’t Katey know she couldn’t rely on anyone but herself in the end? Sure, it was great to take off for a weekend to Glastonbury, for fun. But she could do that later, when she had roots and a stable career plus a roof over her head.
Enough of that, she tried to shake off her melancholy. This was not the time for that. Who else here needed her help?
She watched as one of the women who led Digital Strategy waved her hands as she talked passionately near the cooker to the intern from Analytics. He had a boyfriend but she knew the digital strategy lady was like her, she had a plan. But, Emma’s mind raced, moving onto work. The woman was great at digital strategy, maybe she could help out with the Breach Of The Peace boys. She’d need all the help she could get for them. That was if she ever worked out who they would be fauxmancing with.
She let the sounds wash over her. Nothing needed nudging into place at the moment, everything was going swimmingly. She could stop moving metaphorical tanks over her battle table for the moment. She started to sift through names of female celebrities in her head.
Diana Tomlinson, she mused. Well, she was maybe a bit older than who she needed for the boys, although she had some great publicity coming out of Les Dalrymple’s version of Pride and Prejudice last year, the one that starred Austen Wentworth.
Ah, but there was that rumour that she and Olivia Styles were on the verge of coming out. No, that wouldn’t do the boys any favours. And she couldn’t see it working plus the fan bases were too far apart. It had Hiddleswift levels of nonsense written all over it.
Jillian Mansell’s name leapt into her mind. Nope, Emma remembered as she sipped her wine. Jillian had tested very badly when they’d been looking at her for the hook up with first Will Elliot and then Phil, which was why they’d gone with Brooke in the end.
Phooke were back from honeymoon now of course. She got out her phone and made a note to talk to Jamie on Monday to arrange some public dates to showcase the happy couple.
Tomorrow was going to be a serious research day if she was to have any hope of building a decent set of plans for the boys in time for the meeting next week.
She could still hear Will’s voice telling her to ‘bring it on’ whenever she wanted to throw in the towel.
‘Don’t you think?’ Jamie said and touched her arm.
Emma came back to the conversation with a jolt to see both of them watching her.
‘Sorry, missed that?’ she said.
‘We’re saying that we should try out that new cocktail bar that opened in Hoxton next week,’ Dan said. ‘You know the one, it has the unicorn glitter theme.’
‘That sounds great, you two should definitely go,’ she said.
‘Oh, we thought you’d enjoy going.’ Jamie said looking a little crestfallen. ‘It has unicorns.’
Did he not understand anything? She swore it was like herding cats to get Jamie to realise that she was trying to give him time with Dan. Unicorns or not.
‘Okay, wow, unicorns. That sounds great, why don’t we sort out dates on Monday?’ Emma covered. It seemed that she couldn’t let these two sort things out for themselves. It was a pity they were too old to play games like Spin the Bottle. Mind you, it would be easier if she could treat them how she had her dolls when she was a kid. Pick them up and bang their heads together so they’d kiss.
Free will was all very well but it made her life much more difficult.
Dan excused himself to go to the loo, his hand grazing Emma’s shoulder as he left. Maybe she should’ve moved Jamie to sit where she was. More chances for accidental touching. But it was too late to worry about that. She needed to move this one on. She didn’t like to do this, it was clunky and overkill, like running a tank over an egg to break it. In her head, she manoeuvred a Panza division over the hills onto her battle plan and into range.
‘Jamie, you know he is completely into you.’ She went for the jugular. She was only exaggerating the truth slightly, surely. Sometimes you had to seed the idea for it to happen.
‘He is?’ Jamie looked surprised. ‘Are you sure?’
‘Of course I am, he can’t take his eyes off you. I swear that shirt is perfect for you. Really has made him see you as more than just a co-worker.’
She wasn’t lying; what she did was spin possibilities, stories that had a kernel of promise to be true. Sometimes you had to show people the end point before they could get on board. If she got Jamie believing that Dan was into him, he would flirt more. This in turn would get Dan engaged, and so the cycle would go on, and all by saying a few key words.
She wondered if she’d be thanked in their wedding speech. They’d look good for a winter wedding, both of them could take rich reds and greens.
‘I suppose he is good looking,’ Jamie mused. ‘And he has got great taste in music.’
‘He’s perfect for you.’ She didn’t add, ‘so much more than quiet mousy Rob’.
‘Do you think?’ He was watching Dan stroll back into the kitchen as if he owned it. She had to admit, Dan left her cold, there was something slightly repellent about him, as if he were looking down his nose at people. He was probably shy, she thought. What was the type of dog he reminded her of?
She smothered the voice in her mind that was saying he was a shallow arse, and that Jamie deserved better. It sounded a lot like Gee.
‘Absolutely,’ she lied.
Dan smiled as he walked towards where they were pressed