Josephine Cox 3-Book Collection 2: The Loner, Born Bad, Three Letters. Josephine Cox
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tell, it never went any further than that.
However, Annie did have a serious side, though she hardly ever showed it, these days. And for Judy, that was a troublesome thing, because she had always sensed another, lonelier Annie.
Where Lenny was concerned, had he really meant what he said, about loving her, or was it just a passing fancy? But then she recalled the depth of sincerity in his eyes and the tremor in his voice when he confessed his feelings. And she knew he was deadly serious.
What if he was right? Judy asked herself fearfully. What if Davie was never to come back, and she was destined to grow old and lonely without him? Could she learn to love Lenny? Was it possible to learn to love someone?
The answer had to be no. She thought of her own parents, and their deep affection for each other; the analysis of love that Beth had given her, the night Davie had slept in their barn. Besides, she had explained the way of things to Lenny, and he had accepted it. The air was cleared between them, and they were still best friends as always. Nothing lost. Nothing gained.
And now she was at Annie’s front door about to knock, when her friend came rushing out, saying, ‘Let’s go!’ She must have seen Judy coming.
Judy followed her friend as she went at a run up the street. ‘What’s wrong? Where’s the fire?’ she called out, hurrying after her.
At the top of the street, Annie slowed down, her troubled eyes looking back towards the house. Judy thought she saw a flicker of fear in them.
‘Annie, what’s up? Are you all right?’ she asked anxiously.
They turned the corner and Annie seemed to relax, though she was still lost in a strange and sombre mood.
Judy ran in front of her and blocked her path. ‘OK what’s wrong?’
‘Dunno what you mean.’
‘Yes, you do. You came out the house as if the devil himself was after you. Somebody’s upset you, haven’t they?’
Annie hung her head and for a moment it seemed she might confide in her friend. But when she looked up again, the smileon her face was radiant. ‘Come on, you,’ she told Judy. ‘Let’s have some fun, eh?’
With that she ran on and the other girl had no choice but to run after her. ‘Hold on, you’ve got longer legs than me,’ she panted. Even though Annie had already dismissed the incident, Judy knew very well that something sinister had been going on.
Annie kept running, faster and faster, until as they came onto the canal bridge, Judy had to stop. ‘I’ve got a stitch!’ she called out. Annie was bigger and stronger, and at the minute she seemed possessed. ‘You go on. I’ll catch up in a minute.’
Realising she had almost lost control, Annie came running back. ‘I’m sorry.’ Having tried and failed to rid herself of the torment she was in, she too was exhausted. ‘I didn’t mean to run away like that.’
Snatching at every breath, Judy found she was angry. ‘Yes, you did! You’re in some kind of trouble, and you can’t trust me with the truth.’ Uprighting herself, and taking a long gulp of fresh air, Judy led the way slowly towards the canal.
Annie followed without saying a word. Inside, she was desperately wrestling with what Judy had said just now – about not trusting her with the truth. For a long time now, she had wanted to confide in her friend, but what she had to tell was so awful, she could not bring herself to burden someone else with it. ‘Look,’ she drew Judy to a stop. ‘You’re right, there is something. But I can’t tell you … not yet.’
‘All I want to do is help,’ Judy told her simply. ‘You know that, don’t you?’
‘Yes, I know, and I’m grateful.’
‘It might be easier than you think, to talk about it,’ Judy suggested. ‘You know what they say: “a trouble shared is a trouble halved”.’
Annie dismissed this. ‘All it means is that you make somebody else worry, as well as yourself,’ she said.
‘Not if that someone else can see a solution.’
‘A solution, eh? It’s that easy, is it? Well, I can tell you now, if there is a solution, it’s me that has to find it,’ Annie asserted. ‘So will you please let that be an end to it.’
‘If that’s what you really want.’ Judy shrugged. She didn’t want Annie getting agitated again. ‘I wish you could find the courage to talk about it though.’
Suddenly, an odd thought crossed the girl’s mind, taking her by surprise. Some instinct made her wonder whether this had anything to do with Lenny. Was he the problem? ‘Will you answer something?’ she enquired.
‘Depends.’ Annie was suspicious.
Judy took that as a yes. ‘Annie …’
‘Go on then, spit it out!’
‘Do you have feelings for Lenny?’
The other girl looked puzzled. ‘What kind of feelings?’
Judy felt oddly embarrassed. ‘Well … feelings of … What I mean is, do you love him? You know, the way you used to.’
Annie groaned. ‘Bugger me, girl! Whatever gave you that idea? I like him, o’course I do – otherwise I wouldn’t be working with him, would I?’ When she saw the look of relief on Judy’s face, she realised what was going on in her mind. ‘Well, I never! You think he’s at the root of my troubles, don’t you? Poor old Lenny – as if!’
‘It did cross my mind, yes,’ Judy confessed. ‘I know you had a crush on him at school, and I know you love working with him. I just wondered if you thought more of him than you were letting on, that’s all. I thought maybe he was The One.’
‘Judith Makepeace! You’ve got a vivid imagination, that’s your trouble.’ Annie gave her a playful push. ‘Besides, even if I did fancy him, it wouldn’t do me no good.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because he’s mad for you, that’s why!’
‘And has he told you that?’
‘Not in so many words, no. But he didn’t have to. I can tell. When we’re at work, it’s “Judy this” and “Judy that”.’ She laughed gaily. ‘He’s always talking about you. He sold a woman five pounds o’ potatoes the other day, when all she wanted was a cabbage – an’ that was because he was too preoccupied with singing your praises.’ She looked sideways at Judy. ‘Are you sure he hasn’t told you how mad he is about you?’
Taking a deep breath, Judy blew it out with a sigh. ‘Let’s not talk about it any more.’ She thought of Davie and said dreamily, ‘All I want is for Davie to come home.’
‘Hmh! If you ask me, you’ll have to want on!’ Annie didn’t mean to be cruel. She was just being her usual practical, heavy-footed self.
‘Why do you say that?’ It was the second time today that someone had said something hurtful like that.
‘I just think you’re making a big mistake, waiting for Davie,’ Annie answered candidly. There was no easy way to say it. ‘Think about it. He’s going on nineteen now – all grown-up like the rest of us. I reckon he’s either gone to the other side of the world, or he’s found somebody he loves. Or he’s dead. An’ if that’s the case, however much you might want to, you’ll never see hide nor hair of him again.’
Annie knew her words would hurt, but they were not meant to. All she wanted was for Judy to realise that she could end up wasting her life, waiting for Davie. A lovely girl like her deserved love and happiness, of a kind that she herself would probably never know.
They stood on the bridge, leaning over the wall and chatting, and after a while they ambled down to the water’s edge, where they sat on their coats on the grass bank and watched the