How They Met. David Friedman
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next love of my life. It felt like a pretty helpless position to be in.
Over the months, just for the fun of it, I began asking people who were married or were in longstanding relationships how they met. In each case, there was some element of serendipity or surprise, and I found the stories encouraging, supporting the notion that it would happen for me if I could just live my life and let go. Also encouraging was the fact that meeting the love of one’s life did not seem to depend on one’s being in particularly good shape, looking good, being successful, being happy at the time, planning, targeting, doing the right thing, or anything else for that matter that one could put one’s finger on. In fact, people often met the love of their lives while dressed in dirty old clothes, or while in the middle of a deep depression, or at a time when they absolutely were not looking.
As I listened to story after story, gradually the feeling that I was helpless and that it would never happen for me changed to a sense of wonder and excitement as to when, where, and how it would happen for me. The words of my own song, “And that will be our story, I can’t wait to live our story” ran through my head over and over.
I thought it would be therapeutic for me, during this time, to collect and write down these stories, and then realized that perhaps a book of them would be encouraging for the millions of people who find themselves in similar situations, in love or in anything else that they desire but don’t know how to make happen.
Some of these stories were told to me directly by the people who lived them. Others were told to me secondhand. In those cases, I have either changed or omitted the names to protect people’s privacy.
Straight, gay, young, old, longtime single, divorced, widowed, looking, not looking—these are stories about ordinary people like you and me, and the ordinary yet extraordinary events that brought them together with their life partner. I hope you enjoy them, find inspiration and encouragement, and perhaps even recognize your own circumstances in them. And whatever you’re searching for, be it love, success, healing, money, work, a new home, or a new direction, know that it’s entirely possible, no matter what the present circumstances, that you will soon have a new story of your own to tell.
Joe was out walking his dog in New York City, and he realized he’d forgotten to bring his pooper scooper. He went to the corner garbage can and picked up a newspaper someone had thrown out, intending to use it to clean up after his dog. The paper was open to the Personals section, and as he picked it up, a particular ad caught his eye. He ripped the ad out of the paper, used the rest for his dog, went home, called the woman who’d placed the ad, and they’re married today.
Sarah took a look around her house one Saturday and decided it definitely needed cleaning very badly. She put on some old, dirty work clothes and a bandanna and got to work, but soon realized that this was going to be a bigger job than she thought. She pulled out the phonebook, called a temp agency, and asked them to send somebody over to her house to clean it. A short while later, the doorbell rang and a gorgeous man was standing there. He was so good-looking, in fact, that she was sorry she was dressed in such a sloppy cleaning outfit. As it happened, that didn’t matter a bit. It turned out that the man at the door was a doctor newly arrived from Africa who hadn’t yet gotten his license to practice in the US, and was taking cleaning jobs to make ends meet until his license came through. They are married today.
She Listened to the Fortune Teller
Pat was nineteen years old and in college, but dating a guy from home she liked well enough. Even though there was no real magic or excitement in the relationship, she was actually thinking of getting engaged to him. Just for kicks, she went to a fortune teller. The fortune teller told her that she would meet the man she would marry within the year. She told Pat that his first initial would be either J or G (somehow she seemed to see both), that he was a doctor, and that the first thing she would notice about him would be his laugh. Pat brushed this off as fun but ridiculous, and soon forgot about it. A year later, she was sitting in her dorm suite at college and heard a group of her suitemates and some other friends having a rather raucous conversation across the room. She looked up and noticed that there was one guy who had a really infectious laugh and seemed to be laughing all the time. “Now that’s an attractive guy,” she thought. Turns out his name was Gerald (with a G), but he usually used the nickname Jerry (with a J). Today, over forty-five years later, he’s a doctor and he and Pat have been married for over forty years.
A Foolhardy Trip and a Missed Train
Steve is a Broadway musical director. He had a big show coming up in about five weeks and was pretty nervous about how he was going to prepare for it. All of a sudden, he had the urge to go visit an old friend in Vienna, Austria. Having been a music director myself and knowing how much preparation a Broadway show takes, I told him I couldn’t imagine why he would choose to go on a trip at this particular time instead of doing his work, but he was insistent. So off he went to Vienna to visit his friend Amy. After a few days in Vienna, Steve decided to go to Prague for a couple of days. He went to the train station to catch the last train out, only to discover he’d missed it. “Oh well,” he thought, “I guess I won’t be going to Prague.” Having a free evening ahead of him, he decided to see if he could get a ticket to the Wiener Staatsoper (Vienna State Opera). He went down to the box office and—surprise, surprise!—got the last available ticket. He sat down in his seat, and fell in love with the guy sitting next to him. They went out the whole time Steve was in Vienna, and a few months later the guy came over to the US to be with Steve. And that’s why Steve went to Vienna.
Midnight Snack in the Pickle Section
Mrs. Gold was in her early sixties and had been widowed for two years. One night she woke up at 3 a.m. and had such a strong yen for pickles that she actually got dressed and went to the open-all-night supermarket to get some. There, in front of the pickle jars, she met a lovely man who ended up being her husband.
They Didn’t Let a Little Attitude Stop Them
In 1935, Sylvia was ahead of her time. She owned a retail store and her own car. Mike was delivering a new mattress to one of his customers down the block from Sylvia’s store in Brooklyn, and as he pulled up, he watched Sylvia unsuccessfully trying to back her car into a parking space, something she never learned to do. Being a kind of cocky fellow with a dry sense of humor, he walked up to the car and said, “Where did you get your license?” And Sylvia, without a trace of rancor, resentment, or defensiveness, sweetly smiled and said, “If you were a gentleman you would offer to help instead of criticize.” To this day, Mike remembers this as the moment he fell in love. He parked the car for her, and asked her for her telephone number. She said, “I don’t give my telephone number to strangers,” and he said, “Well, if you met me at a dance, would you do it then?” She said, “Yes,” and he said, “So let’s pretend we’re at a dance.” She gave him her number and they