How They Met. David Friedman
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asked her out. They immediately began dating and spending evenings dancing together.
Before he went overseas he gave her a ring and he said, “If things don’t work out well for me overseas, throw away the ring and start over. If they do work out well, marry me when I get back.” Al came back, they got married, and remained married until her death in 1990.
Heartbreaks in Common Brought Them Together (Very Slowly)
Marianne was in her early forties, was married to a very wealthy oilman, and was the mother of seven children. During a fairly routine discussion one evening, her husband shockingly informed her that he no longer wanted to be married and left. Suddenly, she was the single parent of seven kids, and her whole life turned upside down. Although she felt extremely humiliated and frightened, Marianne quickly determined that she was going to face the challenge in front of her and raise those children. Meeting someone was the last thing on her mind.
A couple of years after her husband left, Marianne decided to go back to school. She was taking a course in Ethnic and Economic Backgrounds, and Joe was her teacher. In this course, students had to get up and tell their life story, so Joe knew a good bit about Marianne’s history. Joe also thought she wrote thoughtful, intelligent, well-written papers. During that year, Joe’s wife, who had been going through a long illness, died. The class knew about it, and Marianne sent him a card.
At the end of the last class, Marianne and Joe were talking, and Marianne told him about her husband leaving her with the seven kids. After Marianne left the room, Joe turned to someone standing next to him and said, “My God, how could he leave a woman like her?” Over the next six months they would pass each other in the cafeteria and say hello. One day, on a whim, Marianne approached Joe and invited him to the ballet. He accepted. On their first date Joe was really strange, talking about other women and seeming not to be interested in Marianne at all. Marianne left that date thinking, “Forget about him, he’s really weird.” About six months later, Marianne’s phone rang and it was Joe. At first she didn’t even call him back, but then he called again, she went out with him, and they married soon after.
For those too young to remember, Horn & Hardart (better known as “The Automat”) was a very popular New York restaurant chain. It was unique because the walls were lined with little glass doors behind which were sandwiches, salads, desserts and drinks. You put a nickel, dime, or quarter in the slot next to a particular door, it opened, and voila, you had your meal. No waiter, no check, just “Automatic” service.
Gene had just returned home from World War II and was eating in the Horn & Hardart in Manhattan. He saw a young woman eating with her sisters and went over and asked her to dance. It was a strange and unusual thing to do in a fast food restaurant, but she said yes, and not long after she said yes again when he asked her to marry him.
Bill and his brother John were walking down the street in the small town in which they lived, when they came across a group of pretty young girls. John went up to the girls and asked, “Who wants to marry my brother Bill?” Dee raised her hand and said. “I will.” And she did!
“Hey Minister! Who’s the Babe in the Pew?”
Joe was the new music minister at a church in Texas. He was sitting on the dais one Sunday morning with the Head Minister during services when a young woman in a purple dress walked in from the back of the church and sat down. Joe, totally knocked out by this woman, leaned over to the minister and mouthed, “Who’s the babe?” “What?” said the minister, unable to make out what he was saying. “Who’s the babe?” “What?” “Who’s the really hot babe in the purple dress who just walked in and sat down?” “That’s my daughter!” Oops. Anyway, it turned out the girl was the minister’s daughter and that she didn’t very often come to church. Joe decided that the way to meet her was to get her to join the choir. A novel approach, walking up to a girl you’re interested in and saying, “You look like an alto, why don’t you be in the choir?” But she joined and they got friendlier, and one day Pamela asked her father if it would be alright to invite Joe to the house for dinner. Her father said yes, but for some reason Pamela didn’t follow through. But Pamela’s mother went to Joe and told him that Pamela had asked, which gave Joe the courage to ask her out. They’re married today.
Phyllis was twenty-one and went to Israel to work on an ulpan, a work farm for foreigners wanting to help Israel. Her brother-in-law, who had decided that Phyllis would marry Betzalel (her brother-in-law hadn’t told Phyllis this, and Phyllis had never met Betzalel) told Phyllis she had to look Betzalel up at the King David Hotel to send his regards. Dutifully, Phyllis called Betzalel and conveyed her brother-in-law’s regards. Betzalel, in an aloof sort of way that some might say is indigenous to Israeli men, said, “Who are you?” He decided they were obligated to meet, and he went out to the ulpan where Phyllis was working. This was a little uncomfortable for him since for an Israeli to go out to an ulpan was often construed as the Israeli trying to hook up with an American to procure his rights both in Israel and America. But he went and invited her out on Friday night. Phyllis had already been invited to a Shabbat dinner at someone’s house, but Betzalel insisted they go out afterward. They went out and the next Friday Betzalel’s mother invited Phyllis to her house for Shabbat, and that was the beginning of the relationship. They’ve been married for over forty years.
If It’s Meant to Be, It’s Meant to Be
Ron had just broken up a long-term relationship with a man who was quite a bit older and very much more accomplished and further along in his career than he was. He was now alone, and his friends suggested that he make a list of all the qualities he wanted in a man and put it up somewhere where he could look at it every day. Ron did that, writing down a specific description of the attributes of his dream lover, and put the list on his refrigerator. Nothing seemed to happen, so after a few months he took it off.
After several years of being by himself, Ron got involved with a man who was certainly not his dream lover, but the relationship lasted a long time. He and his boyfriend were in therapy but there was a certain complacency, joint property, and an intertwined lifestyle that made them both feel that even though this relationship was not really working, it would go on.
Ron was standing by the subway entrance on 86th Street in Manhattan saying goodnight to a man with whom he’d just had a business meeting. Ron found himself wondering if this man was gay or not . . . he just couldn’t tell. All of a sudden a very attractive tall man walked by and looked right at them as he passed. Ron said to the man he was with: “I think you just got cruised,” and the man responded, “Ooh, honey, I don’t think it was me he was cruising.” Ron smiled thinking “Okay, now I know this guy’s gay.”
The man who had cruised Ron went into Gristedes. Ron said goodnight to his business associate and walked down into the subway. The train