How They Met. David Friedman
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Carol was concerned about her daughter. True, her daughter was a beautiful and bright woman finishing her doctorate in psychology and seemed by all outside appearances to be a happy, well-adjusted human being. But Carol wasn’t fooled. Her daughter was twenty-eight years old, and not only wasn’t she married, but as far as Carol could see, she didn’t even have any prospects on the horizon. And to add to Carol’s concern, her daughter didn’t even seem to be at all worried about it. Something had to be done!
When Carol’s daughter received an invitation to attend the American Psychological Association conference in Colorado, Carol thought, “Great. She’ll get herself out of the house. She’ll get a break from her studies. She’ll be with her colleagues and will be staying with an old friend. She’ll be among people. . . . Maybe she’ll meet someone.” Her daughter was not as enthusiastic and spent the weeks before the conference complaining. She was feeling overwhelmed by the need to work on her dissertation proposal, and going to the conference would mean a week away from that. Furthermore, it was far away, expensive, intense, and she did not possess as much of a passion for research as she did for the practice of psychology. But with her mother’s prodding, she finally resigned herself to attending.
Being a Jewish Mother, Carol usually talked to her daughter pretty frequently—but they hardly spoke when she was in Colorado. Carol thought it must be because her daughter was busy with the conference, but when Carol started seeing pictures on Instagram of her daughter climbing mountains with two friends, one a very good-looking guy who Carol didn’t recognize, Carol began to feel a sense of hope and excitement. As Carol put it, “You wouldn’t catch my daughter climbing a mountain unless there was a Saks at the top of it!” Considering herself to be a tactful Jewish Mother, Carol didn’t push, but she sensed something was happening because when she did talk to her daughter, her daughter was very giggly and seemed to be having a great time. But her daughter didn’t tell Carol much of anything, so Carol remained silent . . . but hopeful.
When her daughter got back to New York, Carol casually asked her who the guy was, and her daughter replied, “Oh, that’s Mike.” Carol couldn’t resist asking if he was nice and if her daughter thought she’d see him again. Her daughter’s brief reply was, “Yes, he’s nice . . . and I’m seeing him on Tuesday,” It was Sunday . . . so that was good.
They went out on that date, and Mike immediately knew that she was the one. It took Carol’s daughter a little longer to get on board, but within the year they, along with an adorable dog, were happily living together on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.
Of course, Carol would never insinuate that she made this happen, but being a Jewish Mother from Long Island, she does take a bit of credit for pushing her daughter to attend that conference.
Recipe for Love—Depression, Eating Disorder, Bad Hair, Apathy
Things seemed to be going well for comedienne Julie Halston. She had been in California doing a play and some television guest appearances, while her long-term boyfriend was in New York. Although they were three thousand miles apart for an extended period, Julie had remained true to her boyfriend, even turning down a date from a very well-known, handsome movie star, telling him, “I’m sorry but I’m in a committed relationship back home.”
When her TV pilot was over, Julie headed back to New York to star in an Off-Broadway play, do her one-woman show in a club, and move in with her boyfriend. Shortly after she opened in the play, Julie was nominated for a Drama Desk Award.
Unfortunately, just as all this was happening, Julie discovered that her boyfriend was having an affair. Determined to make the relationship work, she tried to stay and work it out, but after a few futile attempts, they decided to call it quits.
Julie went into a tailspin. She had given her New York apartment to a dying friend when she’d moved in with her boyfriend, so she now had no boyfriend and no place to live. She soon became extremely depressed and began developing symptoms of anorexia, but somehow she managed to find a temporary place to live and spent her days sleeping, going to do her shows and going home by herself.
One night, her publicist mentioned that he wanted her to meet his friend, radio interviewer Ralph Howard. Julie informed him in no uncertain terms that the last thing she wanted to do was meet a man. She was absolutely uninterested! After the run of the show, she was going to go to California, by herself, to pursue her career. At least there people seemed to like her.
Unbeknownst to Julie, and in spite of her protestations, her publicist asked Ralph if he was available (yes, he had just stopped dating a woman in Washington, DC) and brought him to see her show. Although Ralph and Julie didn’t meet in person that night, Ralph was very impressed with her performance and asked Julie’s publicist if he might interview Julie. Julie was not interested, but when her publicist forced the issue (mostly to get Julie out of the house during the day, as he was worried about her health and state of mind), Julie reluctantly accepted.
On the day of the interview, her hair a mess, wearing no makeup and a pajama top (she could care less), she went to the studio. When Ralph opened the door, she was pleasantly surprised at how cute he was and how comfortable she felt with him. “Hmm,” she thought, “maybe a little affair before I leave for California would be nice, nothing serious of course.” She found herself sitting at attention and on her best behavior during the interview. But she left with no plans to see Ralph again.
Julie’s publicist called and insisted she come see a show he was involved with on a certain night because that was the night Ralph was going to be there. Again, reluctantly, Julie said OK. However, when she got there and saw Ralph sitting across the room, for reasons she couldn’t understand, she found herself climbing over chairs and pushing people out of the way to grab a seat near him. She suddenly had the sinking feeling in her stomach that this would not just be an affair but was something more serious. And she didn’t want that!
She and Ralph had a pleasant evening together, and a few days later she left for California. When she arrived in California there was a message from Ralph welcoming her to California (he was still in New York), and while she was out there they spoke every day on the phone. But Julie was making her life in California and Ralph was on the radio in New York, so it seemed unlikely much would happen.
As fate would have it, the development deal Julie was working on in Los Angeles became contingent upon her appearing in a show in New York, so before long she found herself back there. She and Ralph still hardly knew each other, but out of the blue Ralph invited her on a vacation to Aruba and she found herself accepting. Four months later, Ralph had a heart-to-heart talk with her about having to take a leap and get serious. That night they went to see the movie Frankie and Johnnie, which was about just that, and Julie found herself weeping through the whole film. The next day they got engaged and they’ve been happily married for years.
When Al was in his early twenties, in the late 1930s, he was a great dancer. He would go to clubs in New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut and dance the night away. He had beautiful dancing partners in all these places, but none of them ever clicked for him as being the girl he could get serious with. When he went to the army, he was transferred to Arkansas.
In the evenings, some of the men would cross the state border into Tennessee and dance with the girls who were brought down there, with chaperones of course, to dance with the soldiers. At his first dance, he spent the evening watching a girl on the dance floor and said to himself, “That’s the one.” He says he’ll never forget the feeling and doesn’t know why she