Steve Miller's Slimming Secrets. Steve Miller
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get so stressed and food makes me feel better.
I work full time and with a family, I just don’t have time to eat healthy foods.
I eat the same as Jean next door, but she’s as thin as a rake.
I just like food and eating it. It’s good for you, anyway.
I’m just one of those people who puts weight on easily.
Diets are boring and let’s face it who wants to live on salad?
Do any of the above ring bells with you? Whenever I’m working with clients, I always begin by agreeing from the outset that excuses will be instantly ditched. If we allow excuses into our sessions we simply let the fat win and nothing will change. Try writing down the excuses you often make and then underneath write a response to bust them. For example, one of my excuses used to be that I liked junk food too much. Now my response to that is that I can enjoy a little junk food without having to deny myself. I also used to blame the food for being so bloody tasty for making me fat! My response now is that no one else makes me eat it, healthy food can be cheaper than ready meals and it’s more widely available than ever before. Plus, healthy food can be just as tasty as junk food. As you work your way through this book, I’ll continue to offer you more tools and advice to help you blow all the excuses you have away. We don’t do excuses anymore, so just forget them!
MANIFEST IT
As you move forward in your quest to shed the pounds, I want you to live life as though you have already lost the weight. You may have heard of the term ‘manifesting expectation’. Well, there’s a lot of science around the subject of manifestation, which to some is a reality but to others is completely bonkers. No matter how you look at it, though, there can be no doubt that if you expect and believe something will happen, it’s more likely to do so.
Right now, just take a few moments to imagine you have already lost the weight and that you now live life at your ideal weight. Perhaps close your eyes as you do so and pay attention to how good it feels. As you wake each day, I want you to live life as though you are already slim. Combine this with the other techniques I describe in the book and you’ll be surprised at how much it helps. Live life from this moment accepting personal responsibility for your weight and let excuses dissolve so that you’re always in the zone of ultimate success – a weight-loss success.
Katherine’s story
Katherine came to see me recently complaining she was fed up of being fat, that the world only accepted, as she put it, ‘thin people’ and that life was mean to those who were overweight. But Katherine also had every excuse in the cookbook and blamed food manufacturers, her mother, her age and lack of time for her weight. If I’d wanted to write a book on how not to lose weight that day, Katherine would have provided solid content. She thought I had a magic pill and if I waved a magic wand as she took it, it would help her to wake up six stone lighter.
As she sat in my consulting room, I allowed her to ramble on for around 20 minutes before asking her what she actually wanted. ‘To make me slimmer, of course!’ she barked. When I asked her how I was to do that, she yelled, ‘Well, you do it for everyone, don’t you?’ Sitting there, with a mixture of emotions, I politely explained that actually my clients do it for themselves. With a confused look on her face, the penny finally started to drop. Katherine was beginning to realise that she had to take some responsibility for being overweight and that the excuses she was using would just keep her fat.
During that first session, we talked through all the excuses she was using and one by one, we agreed to bin them. I explained to Katherine that excuses were the cancer of weight loss and to carry them forward would mean she would stay fat – and probably get fatter. Having written down all her excuses, Katherine decided to tear them all up and make a clean start, perceiving the route to weight loss as one of personal responsibility. I explained to her that if she was unwilling to accept responsibility, I would not be willing to see her again as the whole process would be a waste of her time – and mine. That day kick-started a new beginning for Katherine. She acknowledged that blaming the food manufacturers, fast food outlets and other people would not get her anywhere close to the weight she wanted to be. As we moved forward, she turned out to be one of the most fun clients I have ever worked with. We would laugh and make weight loss an exciting pleasure rather than a chore. With responsibility owned and excuses ditched, Katherine went on to lose three stone. She continues to shed more unwanted weight.
David’s story
In early 2008, I had an urgent request from a new a client called David. He explained that his weight had spiralled out of control and that he was, as he put it, ‘at his wits’ end’. I agreed to see him and we set the date for our first session. At 35, David wanted to lose weight so that he stood more of a chance of finding a partner and to improve his career prospects, too. Before meeting David, he sounded convincing and from our telephone conversation he seemed to have a good idea about what he needed to do to lose weight. How wrong I was! When David arrived, he offered me a half-hearted handshake and looked angry and fed up. Thinking it might be nerves, I invited him to sit down and we started to chat. David suddenly went into a sermon on how he had tried all the diets out there and had seen several weight-loss specialists, but they had failed to help him lose weight. In his mind, it was all about how other people had failed him and the fact that they had been useless. Where have I heard this before? I pondered as I continued to listen to him blaming others for his downfall.
Around 30 minutes passed by until I decided to interrupt him and kindly asked why he had failed. Shocked and horrified, his jaw nearly hit the floor – no one had ever spoken to him like that before. ‘Me, failed?’ he asked. ‘Yes, you,’ I replied. No one had ever challenged his thought processes before and for a moment he paused and looked at me, not really knowing what to say. I then went on to tell David that all he’d done was blame other people and call them failures, but he’d forgotten to include himself.
Following this, I explained to him that if all he was going to do was blame others and call them failures, he wouldn’t move forward and working together would be an absolute waste of time. I asked him to think about the advice he had previously been given – which, to be fair, sounded reasonable, with the exception of a few diets that were restrictive in nature. As our conversation continued, David began to realise that he had to look at himself and his reactions closely. Blaming others would leave him lame, he wouldn’t be able to move forward and this would ultimately keep him fat.
As the message sunk in, he acknowledged I had a point and agreed to move forward and accept his responsibility to losing weight. It was David’s acceptance of responsibility that was his catalyst to lose weight and in doing so he went on to drop several stone. I am sure he reflects on that message each time he hears people blaming others for their weight. Ultimately, David realised that only he could lose weight for himself; saying that others failed him was actually the perfect excuse and ultimately, one that would have kept him fat.
Motivation is what drives your weight loss. It’s the powerhouse of effective long-lasting weight loss; without it, you are doomed. It’s all very well having an eating plan and an exercise regime in place, and you telling yourself that you have to do it, but without motivation it’s likely you will fall at the first hurdle. In this chapter, I will offer you a range of practical strategies to help ensure your motivation remains high at all times. The vast majority of people start their weight-loss journey with motivation brimming over the top, only to find after a couple of weeks that it has all dried up. That’s why it’s essential you have in your weight-loss cupboard a number of tools that will help ensure your motivation has the legs to stay the distance with you.
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