The Clitical Guide to Female Self-Pleasure: How to Please Yourself So Your Partner Can Too. Jenne Davis
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can, in fact, cause our bodies to react in sexual ways. I'm sure you are familiar with the saying ‘sex is better than chocolate’, but are all too aware that there are times when the opposite is true. By discovering which tastes you enjoy when you are solo it is possible to turn what you eat into a sexual experience.
Exercise:
Try eating some ice cream. Pick a flavor that you know you enjoy, or if you are feeling a little more adventurous, pick one that you have never tried. Now settle down and use a spoon – feed yourself that ice cream, slowly…very slowly. Concentrate on the sensations that the taste produces within you. You are likely to react to the coolness of the ice cream at first, but now try licking the ice cream from the back of the spoon. Again, move slowly and deliberately. It may help if you close your eyes as you concentrate solely on the sensations. I've had some great solo ice-cream escapades over the years. It's all about changing your perception of what you are doing. You're not just eating, you're tasting, enjoying, and – most of all – feeling.
Neck
There are times when I swear my neck is in some way directly connected to my vulva and clitoris. Whether I'm simply touching it gently with my hand or my partner is with their lips or hand, I can't help but get a little moister between my thighs and my thoughts turn to sex. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has this connection, and you can find out whether your neck reacts the same way as mine does by trying this simple but effective exercise.
Exercise:
Try running your fingertips across the nape of your neck. Vary the pressure you use as you explore this often-neglected part of your body. You can try experimenting by using various objects such as silk scarves, feathers, and anything else you have at hand – to see the effects the sensations have on you. They might just surprise you!
Shoulders and Arms
Both of these items are rarely thought of as sexy, but they should never be discounted as such when it comes to solo sex.
Exercise:
Try touching your shoulder and arms with either your opposite hand or a variety of objects. These objects can run the gamut from silk scarves to pieces of wood. Try varying the force or pressure that you apply to these areas and spend some time noticing how your body reacts to them.
Hands
If there is one area of your body that you might want to start thinking of in terms of a sexual tool, it would likely be your hands. Yes, you read that right! Take a second to think this through if this fact is throwing you off. Your hands touch, your hands feel, your hands are amazing. Even if you choose to use a sexual toy or tool, you will likely have to hold it with, well, your hand – or hands. Hopefully you are starting to see what I mean, here. The great thing about your hands is that they cost nothing, are always – ermmm – handy, and have the ability to bring you lots of sexual pleasure, if you would only let them.
Exercise:
We tend to think of sexual touch in terms of fingertips, when we can, and probably should, be using the entire surface of our hands. You can apply this logic to any of the exercises and techniques that are included in this book. If a technique calls for you to use your fingertips, there are no rules to say you can't try the same thing with the palm of your hands, be it a movement or applying pressure.
Breasts
For most women, and, let’s face it, men, breasts are something that hold a special place in their hearts when it comes to sex. Breasts are made up of mostly fatty and connective tissue. Just like most other body parts, breasts come in many different sizes, shapes, and colors. They can be the same size and shape, but oftentimes one breast may look a little different than the other. The breasts and nipples may enlarge in the days prior to a woman’s period and may grow extra sensitive during this time – as well as during (and after) pregnancy.
In other words, breasts are somewhat complicated and then you can add in the fact that according to one study around 50 per cent of women enjoy breast stimulation, whilst the others simply tolerate it to please a partner. The good news here is we are talking about solo sex and there is no one else to please but you! According to studies conducted by Masters and Johnson and the Kinsey Institute, a small percentage of women can actually have an orgasm from breast stimulation alone. Interestingly enough, in a Kinsey Institute experiment on 8,000 women, only 11 per cent said they stimulated their own breasts during masturbation. I say that it's time we changed that percentage and I wish more women would explore their breasts as well as the rest of their bodies during a masturbation session.
Exercise:
Start out by touching your breasts using long, circular strokes, starting at the bottom of your breasts. Slowly graze your skin with your fingers as you circle the outer perimeter of your breasts. With each revolution of your breast, move just a little closer to the center of your breast, spiraling inward ever so slightly. For every two movements closer to your breasts, take one small movement outward. Continue with slow, spiraling strokes toward your nipples. As you near the nipple with one hand, stop and begin the same process with your other one. Take your time touching your breasts – make this whole process take at least 10 to15 minutes. When you do finally get to your nipple, you may well find yourself in ecstasy.
Nipples
Did you know that it's possible for a woman to achieve orgasm solely through nipple play? It's true! This doesn't happen for every woman, but certain women can have genital orgasms that are caused by intense nipple stimulation. About one in 18 people are born with a third nipple and during the Middle Ages if you did have a third nipple you would have been branded a witch, which would likely have meant you would have been burned at the stake. Fortunately we live in the 21st century and those days are done. That said, many people still have many misconceptions about their nipples, so let's try to put them to rest, shall we?
In case you aren't aware, the circular pigmented area around your nipple is called the ‘aureola’. They range in color from pale yellow to almost black, and are always darker than the skin that makes up the breast. This is so it's easier for a baby to locate them. Generally the older you are the bigger your aureolas will be. Hairs do not grow on your actual nipple, preferring to grow on your aureola, and are not bad. Whilst an erect nipple can be a sign that you are feeling sexually aroused there are other reasons they may become erect, including the fact that it's darn cold.
Exercise:
Lube the tips of the thumb and index finger of your dominant hand. If you don't have any lube handy, you can simply lick your fingers to moisten them before beginning. Now place your fingers directly across from each other on opposite ends of the outer aureola. Start at the outer part of the aureola and move your finger and thumb toward each other. As they reach the nipple, roll the nipple in a twirling motion between your fingertip and the tip of your thumb. Now, repeat the technique, starting at a different spot on the outside of the aureola. This will tease the nipple by creating anticipation and desire. Where you take things from here is, well, in your own hands.
Stomach or Belly
In men, this area is often referred to as the ‘treasure trail’, and this is the way I like to think of it when it comes to solo sex. Some women will find that when they are sexually aroused their stomach, or belly, area becomes too sensitive to touch, whilst others enjoy exploring this area and view it as foreplay before they reach the promised land of their mons, or the top of their vulva.
Exercise:
Spend some time playing with your belly once you are sexually aroused. Does it feel good as you allow your hand to travel downward toward your mons or does it have the opposite effect? Try varying the pressure, direction, and width of your touch and see if that makes a difference.
The Mons Veneris
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