Gathering Strength:. Peggy Kelsey
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true here in America in certain subcultures.
What about film directing excites you?
Sahraa: Filmmaking is a way of thinking. It’s a way I can express my thoughts, opinions, and ideas about society, myself, women, and people. I can communicate my agreement and disagreement with what I portray. Most important for me is that it’s a way of thinking about the world in general. Filmmaking is about more than technique or technical issues; it’s how I view my culture, how I criticize my culture, how I see. To make films and especially to direct films is my life’s commitment.
Peggy: What advice do you have for someone who wants to be a photographer?
Mariam:: Not only for being a photographer, but if a woman wants to do something but doesn’t have much courage, or if she feels weak or not capable, I say, "You have abilities you can use to help people. Whatever skill you have, you have to look for it, you have to seek it out. Then you can go ahead."
Peggy: What do you like most about photojournalism?
Mariam: Through taking pictures, I’m getting to know about women’s personal lives, the way they’re living, and how they overcome their difficulties. We have a
lot of problems in Afghanistan, especially in the rural areas. I remember my time in Bamyan Province. When I talked with a woman in a small village I saw how difficult their lives are, especially in the winter. The roads are completely blocked and if a woman is pregnant, she might die. There is no nearby clinic so if something goes wrong, nobody can help them. And there’s no school for the children.
It makes me wonder... Security is good. There is no fighting like in the south; this area is completely safe and calm. The air is clean; the landscape, beautiful; and the need, so great. Why aren’t there more projects to help these people? Women’s development is mostly in the cities. I’m fine with that; I can work there. But just once think about those people in the very remote areas. Where are the development projects for them?
Peggy: Have you experienced people reading something you’ve written and saying that it changed their lives or changed their thinking?
Setara: Yes. When I write in Farsi, I only share it with my close friends. When I read them my poems the first time they told me, "Please continue writing, Setara."
Otherwise no one knows I’m a writer. I’m sure that if people knew they wouldn’t like it. They think that whenever a woman writes, there is a fault, especially with the reality. I’ve experienced this. Whenever a woman writes, people think she should be at odds with society and therefore lose something. As in the case of Forugh Farrokhzad, her outspoken writing caused her to lose the respect of her
family and friends. She lost one thing and gained something else. This is how people see all women writers.
But for my English writings... on the AWWP blog, readers make comments and those comments change my writing, change me, and change the way I think. They write things like, "Wonderful, excellent, amazing." When I see that my writing has readers, it encourages me to continue. My English writings are improving. I really came to trust myself only after people remarked on my writings. Now, I’m one of the most active writers. When I write in English, I feel that I can express most of my feelings, and I can share my experiences and pain with others. Now, 44 of my writings are on the web. On March 8, 2009, at an event in California, a well-known Hollywood actress read my poems. I was so proud and it encouraged me very much.
Peggy: Do you ever translate your Farsi writings into English or is it too different?
Setara: The feelings come in English and I automatically write them in English, or my feelings come in Farsi and I write them in that language. Someday when I get time, I will translate them, but I am very busy right now. I want to start a small group of women writers. We can be a good example for Afghan women and help bring positive changes. We can learn from each other so that we will stand on each other’s shoulders.
Peggy: I asked Saghar, the painter, if there was a student art association or any association of female artists in Herat but she said, "No." I suggested that while she was still in school might be a good time for her and some of her classmates to start one so they could encourage and support each other throughout their careers. I started a photography group while in photo school that continues to provide resources, camaraderie, information, and support. Connecting with other artists raises my spirits and can help me overcome artist’s block.
When I returned to Herat in 2010 the phone system had changed, and I couldn’t contact Saghar.
Mariam: My freedom to come and go did not happen easily. When my director first asked me to travel to Herat to translate for them, I told her that I could never get permission. So she came home with me to talk with my father. In the end he laughed and said, "Since you have come to my house, I cannot reject you, so I will let her go." Everything went smoothly. Shortly afterwards, she wanted me to return to Herat but this time my father said, "I let you go the first time and now
you come asking me again. No, it’s not possible." So, I cried and tried to convince him, and over the weeks kept asking him until he finally agreed.
I told him, "I was born in war and I will die in war. I can’t wait for a better situation."
He laughed and said, "I wish you were a son."
I said to him, "Look, my Father, if anybody outside our house sees me and my attitude and the way I talk with people, they don’t look at me as a girl, they think of me as a man." So this is how I became able to go outside of Kabul and even outside the country. I went alone to the Netherlands and to India for training. Now he allows me to work on projects that require me to be away for even three weeks at a time. Here in Kabul, sometimes I have to work late at the print shop. He just asks that I call to let him know I’m OK.
It’s not a crime to travel alone or come home after dark, but it has many problems. Maybe your father or brother doesn’t agree. Even your mother and your sister might feel that because you’re a woman you are weak. If you go, and something happens, everybody will talk about you, every relative will say bad things about you and your parents for letting you go.
Peggy: What is the most difficult challenge in your career and how do you deal with it?
Mariam: Aside from my father, society is also a problem for me. A career in photography is not known or respected. Normal people laugh at me and ask why am I spending my time learning these things? It sounds crazy to them. But I always explain that I get paid for it and many people want to hire me. They come to accept it just by my talking with them.
Peggy: What are some of the issues you are facing in your life?
Mariam: One of my brothers is sick and can’t work. He has a daughter and son but he’s not able to support them. I have to do something to help them and to help my mother. My other brother is only in seventh grade and the government schools are not places where he can learn well, so I put him in a private school. Every three months I have to pay $400, big money in Afghanistan. But anyway, I have to make it.
Peggy: Mariam’s story belies what we are led to believe about Afghan men’s intractability. I interviewed many determined women who wanted something badly enough to