To Have And To Hold. Myrna Mackenzie
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“Was it, poppet?” He looked at Callie as they walked. “Maybe the twins could have riding lessons, too.”
“Maybe,” Callie replied and almost jumped from her skin when Hayley grasped her hand. She stopped walking immediately and looked down. The little girl tugged her forward, giggled and acted as though holding her hand was the most natural thing in the world.
Instinct kicked in and she went to pull her hand away … but something stopped her. Maybe it was the lovely, infectious laugh coming from the little girl. Or perhaps it was that Noah was watching her with such blistering intensity she knew that if she moved, if she rejected the child’s hand, he’d see it. And he’d see more than that. He’d see through her and into the parts of herself she kept so fiercely guarded.
“Anything wrong, Callie?”
Already suspicious, she thought. Already figuring her out. “Not a thing,” she lied and allowed herself to be led toward a refreshments stall.
He bought drinks all round and Callie had just cranked the cap off her soda when Hayley announced she wanted her face painted.
“Can we, Daddy, please?” she pleaded and skipped toward the face-painting tent.
He nodded and they all followed. He passed the colorfully decorated painter a couple of notes from his wallet. Hayley insisted on going first while Matthew waited patiently behind his more flamboyant sister.
Callie stood to the side. “Where’s your other son?” she asked. “And Lily?”
“Jamie’s with Evie. And Lily doesn’t do fairs.”
Callie half smiled. “Too cool, huh?”
“Or stubborn.”
“She’s headstrong,” Callie said. “And there’s nothing wrong with that.”
He crossed his arms and she couldn’t help looking at his chest. He was remarkably fit and broad shouldered and her awareness of him spiked. It had been eons since she’d been this attracted to someone. Maybe never. She’d been with Craig for so many years, and any true desire they’d felt for one another had faded long before his death. But Noah had kickstarted her libido with a resounding thud.
“Speaking from experience?” he asked quietly while keeping a watch on his kids.
Callie got her feelings back on track. “I’m sure my parents thought me willful. I liked to do things my own way.”
“And still do, I imagine.”
She wasn’t about to deny it. “She’ll come around,” Callie assured him, sensing it was true, although she had no idea why she thought so. “Raising a teenage girl wouldn’t be easy—especially alone.”
“Sometimes … no. But they’re all pretty well behaved most of the time. Even Lily.”
“Do they see their mother much?” she asked before she could stop herself. She wondered why on earth she was so interested in this man and his children. She wasn’t usually so inquisitive. Who was she kidding? She was never inquisitive.
“No,” he replied. “They don’t.”
Callie’s tongue tingled with another question, but she held back. The more she knew about him, the more he’d want to know about her … and she wasn’t ready for that. She wasn’t sure she ever would be. But despite her reticence, she suddenly had the image of his four motherless children burned deep in her heart.
Heaven help me … I’m actually in danger of falling for this man.
Noah felt her pain. She’d done a great job of building a big wall around whatever it was that haunted the depths of her blue eyes. But not quite good enough.
“Will I see you tonight?” he asked, determined to keep her talking.
“For the dance?” She shook her head. “No. I have to take the horses back home.”
He pressed on. “You could come later.”
She stepped back. “I don’t … I don’t … it’s just that I don’t …”
“You don’t what?” he asked, picking up her trailing words.
“I don’t date,” she said bluntly.
Noah half smiled. So they had something in common. “Neither do I,” he admitted and when she looked surprised, he explained what he meant. “Four kids make dating … difficult.” He raised his brows. “What’s your excuse?”
She shrugged and took a deep breath. “I don’t have one.”
Not exactly the truth and they both knew it. “Are you nursing a broken heart?”
She crossed her arms and dangled the soda bottle between her fingertips. “Not the kind you might be imagining,” she said softly.
Noah’s curiosity soared. He wanted to know all about her. Everything. She’d been hurt in the past, that much was obvious. But by whom? “Want to talk about it?”
She shook her head again and stepped back fractionally, as if she was looking for an escape. “I should go.” She tapped the soda bottle. “Thank you for the drink.”
She said goodbye to the kids and walked away, leaving him staring after her.
Callie sat on the edge of her bed and examined the contents of her open wardrobe.
She’d arrived home an hour earlier. The horses were fed, the dog was asleep in the kitchen and she was left wondering why she was actually considering dressing up and heading back to the fair. But Fiona had called and begged her to go. So, her friend needed her. That was as good a reason as any. It wasn’t because there was a band playing and that there would be dancing. It wasn’t because Noah would be there.
She knew getting involved with him was out of the question.
He has four children.
He had what she would never have. Her heart felt so heavy in her chest when she thought about it. She’d kept a lid on her feelings for more than four years and had accepted she could never have another child because of complications during Ryan’s birth. Ryan was her child … and he was gone. But in a matter of days, and without warning, the lid had lifted off and suddenly she was all feelings … all memory … all want.
Noah makes me want.
Desiring him was one thing. She hadn’t expected to like him. She hadn’t expected to like anyone ever again.
Forty minutes later she’d dressed and drove back to the fair.
It was well past eight o’clock by the time she arrived. The stalls and kiddie games had been replaced by a large dance floor and clusters of tables and chairs. The whole scene had been decorated with hundreds of tiny lights, and food and drink vendors were on hand to satisfy appetites. The turnout was impressive. People had dressed up and were clearly enjoying themselves. The band was good and the dance floor was busy. Callie spotted Fiona standing near a tent where drinks were being served and quickly headed for her friend.
“You’re here!” Fiona squealed and hugged her close. “Thank goodness.”
“You said you could use the company.”
“I could. Great dress—aren’t you glad I insisted you buy it?”
It was a great dress—a flimsy chiffon concoction of muted caramel shades with a halter top. The skirt fell just above her knees. “Of course.”
“Fiona!”
They both turned at the sound of the pleasantly pitched female voice. A dark haired woman with the most amazing green eyes came toward them, buffering against a few people in her stride.
“M.J.,” Fiona greeted. “Good to see you.”
Fiona