The Collected Works of Anton Chekhov. Anton Chekhov
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Yes… I suppose I’m all untidy. [Before the looking-glass] They say I’m growing stout… it isn’t true! Certainly it isn’t! Masha’s asleep; the poor thing is tired out…. [Coldly, to ANFISA] Don’t dare to be seated in my presence! Get up! Out of this! [Exit ANFISA; a pause] I don’t understand what makes you keep on that old woman!
OLGA. [Confusedly] Excuse me, I don’t understand either…
NATASHA. She’s no good here. She comes from the country, she ought to live there…. Spoiling her, I call it! I like order in the house! We don’t want any unnecessary people here. [Strokes her cheek] You’re tired, poor thing! Our head mistress is tired! And when my little Sophie grows up and goes to school I shall be so afraid of you.
OLGA. I shan’t be head mistress.
NATASHA. They’ll appoint you, Olga. It’s settled.
OLGA. I’ll refuse the post. I can’t… I’m not strong enough…. [Drinks water] You were so rude to nurse just now… I’m sorry. I can’t stand it… everything seems dark in front of me….
NATASHA. [Excited] Forgive me, Olga, forgive me… I didn’t want to annoy you.
[MASHA gets up, takes a pillow and goes out angrily.]
OLGA. Remember, dear… we have been brought up, in an unusual way, perhaps, but I can’t bear this. Such behaviour has a bad effect on me, I get ill… I simply lose heart!
NATASHA. Forgive me, forgive me…. [Kisses her.]
OLGA. Even the least bit of rudeness, the slightest impoliteness, upsets me.
NATASHA. I often say too much, it’s true, but you must agree, dear, that she could just as well live in the country.
OLGA. She has been with us for thirty years.
NATASHA. But she can’t do any work now. Either I don’t understand, or you don’t want to understand me. She’s no good for work, she can only sleep or sit about.
OLGA. And let her sit about.
NATASHA. [Surprised] What do you mean? She’s only a servant. [Crying] I don’t understand you, Olga. I’ve got a nurse, a wet-nurse, we’ve a cook, a housemaid… what do we want that old woman for as well? What good is she? [Fire-alarm behind the stage.]
OLGA. I’ve grown ten years older tonight.
NATASHA. We must come to an agreement, Olga. Your place is the school, mine — the home. You devote yourself to teaching, I, to the household. And if I talk about servants, then I do know what I am talking about; I do know what I am talking about… And tomorrow there’s to be no more of that old thief, that old hag… [Stamping] that witch! And don’t you dare to annoy me! Don’t you dare! [Stopping short] Really, if you don’t move downstairs, we shall always be quarrelling. This is awful.
[Enter KULIGIN.]
KULIGIN. Where’s Masha? It’s time we went home. The fire seems to be going down. [Stretches himself] Only one block has burnt down, but there was such a wind that it seemed at first the whole town was going to burn. [Sits] I’m tired out. My dear Olga… I often think that if it hadn’t been for Masha, I should have married you. You are awfully nice…. I am absolutely tired out. [Listens.]
OLGA. What is it?
KULIGIN. The doctor, of course, has been drinking hard; he’s terribly drunk. He might have done it on purpose! [Gets up] He seems to be coming here…. Do you hear him? Yes, here…. [Laughs] What a man… really… I’ll hide myself. [Goes to the cupboard and stands in the corner] What a rogue.
OLGA. He hadn’t touched a drop for two years, and now he suddenly goes and gets drunk….
[Retires with NATASHA to the back of the room. CHEBUTIKIN enters; apparently sober, he stops, looks round, then goes to the washstand and begins to wash his hands.]
CHEBUTIKIN. [Angrily] Devil take them all… take them all…. They think I’m a doctor and can cure everything, and I know absolutely nothing, I’ve forgotten all I ever knew, I remember nothing, absolutely nothing. [OLGA and NATASHA go out, unnoticed by him] Devil take it. Last Wednesday I attended a woman in Zasip — and she died, and it’s my fault that she died. Yes… I used to know a certain amount five-and-twenty years ago, but I don’t remember anything now. Nothing. Perhaps I’m not really a man, and am only pretending that I’ve got arms and legs and a head; perhaps I don’t exist at all, and only imagine that I walk, and eat, and sleep. [Cries] Oh, if only I didn’t exist! [Stops crying; angrily] The devil only knows…. Day before yesterday they were talking in the club; they said, Shakespeare, Voltaire… I’d never read, never read at all, and I put on an expression as if I had read. And so did the others. Oh, how beastly! How petty! And then I remembered the woman I killed on Wednesday… and I couldn’t get her out of my mind, and everything in my mind became crooked, nasty, wretched…. So I went and drank….
[IRINA, VERSHININ and TUZENBACH enter; TUZENBACH is wearing new and fashionable civilian clothes.]
IRINA. Let’s sit down here. Nobody will come in here.
VERSHININ. The whole town would have been destroyed if it hadn’t been for the soldiers. Good men! [Rubs his hands appreciatively] Splendid people! Oh, what a fine lot!
KULIGIN. [Coming up to him] What’s the time?
TUZENBACH. It’s past three now. It’s dawning.
IRINA. They are all sitting in the dining-room, nobody is going. And that Soleni of yours is sitting there. [To CHEBUTIKIN] Hadn’t you better be going to sleep, doctor?
CHEBUTIKIN. It’s all right… thank you…. [Combs his beard.]
KULIGIN. [Laughs] Speaking’s a bit difficult, eh, Ivan Romanovitch! [Pats him on the shoulder] Good man! In vino veritas, the ancients used to say.
TUZENBACH. They keep on asking me to get up a concert in aid of the sufferers.
IRINA. As if one could do anything….
TUZENBACH. It might be arranged, if necessary. In my opinion Maria Sergeyevna is an excellent pianist.
KULIGIN. Yes, excellent!
IRINA. She’s forgotten everything. She hasn’t played for three years… or four.
TUZENBACH. In this town absolutely nobody understands music, not a soul except myself, but I do understand it, and assure you on my word of honour that Maria Sergeyevna plays excellently, almost with genius.
KULIGIN. You are right, Baron, I’m awfully fond of Masha. She’s very fine.
TUZENBACH. To be able to play so admirably and to realize at the same time that nobody, nobody can understand you!
KULIGIN. [Sighs] Yes…. But will it be quite all right for her to take part in a concert? [Pause] You see, I don’t know anything about it. Perhaps it will even be all to the good. Although I must admit that our Director is a good man, a very good man even, a very clever man, still he has such views…. Of course it isn’t his business but still, if you wish it, perhaps I’d better talk to him.
[CHEBUTIKIN takes a porcelain clock into his hands and examines it.]
VERSHININ. I got so dirty while the fire was on, I don’t look like anybody on earth. [Pause] Yesterday I happened to hear, casually, that they want to transfer our brigade to some distant place. Some said to Poland, others, to Chita.
TUZENBACH. I heard so, too. Well, if it is so, the town will be quite empty.
IRINA. And we’ll go away, too!
CHEBUTIKIN. [Drops the clock which breaks to pieces] To smithereens!
[A pause; everybody is pained and confused.]
KULIGIN. [Gathering up the pieces] To smash such a valuable object — oh, Ivan Romanovitch, Ivan Romanovitch! A very bad mark for your misbehaviour!
IRINA. That clock used to belong to our mother.