Leashes and Lovers - What Your Dog Can Teach You About Love, Life, and Happiness. Sheryl Matthys
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you’re so refreshed and relaxed. Just look at how your perspective on life has changed with a little change in circumstances.
Including five to ten minutes of simple “play” time daily will lead to small miracles in your outlook and attitude toward others – all thanks to your dog. That look from your dog is saying, “Did you play today? Let’s go!” This doesn’t have to mean a game of fetch – there are lots of ways to play. I have Greyhounds, and the last thing they know or care about is retrieving. The same goes for me, which is one of the reasons we’re a perfect match! I’m talking a quick wrestle with your dog, a fun walk, some belly rubs, or running around the backyard – whatever seems a playful start for the both of you.
The most amazing thing happens when you play: it usually leads to laughter, which is the best gift you can give yourself and others. Your dog’s mission is to share all of herself with you. Why not let it be part of your mission, too? Your dog lives her life wanting only to make you happy. Take that natural happiness philosophy and incorporate it into your own life.
If laughter does not come at first, then it’s an exercise to build on. During the first few play sessions, you are not to stop the “play” until at least one laugh is involved! It’ll become more natural as your sessions progress, even in just the first two weeks.
As children, we knew how to do this naturally. But we lost some of that knack with maturity. Unfortunately, most adults only laugh ten to fifteen times in an entire day, compared to a child, who laughs about 300 times per day. Let your dog awaken your inner child and unleash the dog in you!
Laughing and playing with your dog can lead to:
•reduced risk of heart disease
•decreased stress
•lowered blood pressure
•a boosted immune system
•a natural painkiller for your system
•a massage of abdominal organs
•a natural anti-depressant
•reduced blood sugar levels that help prevent Type II diabetes from developing
You may want to ask yourself what’s stopping you from gaining all these benefits right now? Well, set the book down and start bringing on the laughs and play – even if it feels stilted at first.
One of the best benefits of laughing is that it can actually make you look younger, and that’s reason enough for me to do it more! While laughing, your facial muscles are working out, which increases the blood flow around your face and makes your complexion healthier.
Need I say more about the importance of playfulness in constructive communication?
• Trust •
How do our dogs become such an integrated part of our lives? Perhaps it’s because dogs don’t care what color, race, religion, or gender you are. They don’t care if you’re homely or beautiful, wear makeup or not, what brand of clothes you wear, or whether you’re rich, poor, fat, or skinny – for them you’re just you, the most important person in their life. As humans, we are obsessed with beauty, but we are all beautiful, famous, rich, smart – in our dogs’ eyes. Part of the reason your dog has been able to invest wholly in you is trust. He trusts that you’ll do the right thing by him.
Trust is so vital to our human relationships, and yet so rare a factor in most of them. Mistrust is a much more common emotion for us to experience, and yet I can’t imagine a more selfish emotion than mistrust. When we don’t trust someone we love, what we’re really saying is, “Your ability to cause me pain is more fearful to me than your ability to cause me pleasure is hopeful.”
Mistrust is all about us; trust is all about them. And that is where dogs really shine. They are always more than willing to risk, to give, to sacrifice, to become embarrassed, or to try again and make fools of themselves in their almost frenzied pursuit of trust.
Dogs trust us implicitly, and yet how often do we return the favor? A dog would never abuse this trust. That is why we feel so vulnerable, open and, yes, intimate with them. We know they won’t betray us, humiliate us for their own benefit, or mock us.
Why shouldn’t we feel that way with our friends, family, lovers, and spouses? What if we allowed ourselves to be truly trusting of those we care about? What if we could open up to others and feel vulnerable without the selfish fear of embarrassment, humiliation, or betrayal?
Yes, some people will embarrass, humiliate, and betray us. But are these people worth having relationships with in the first place? Why punish those who would never dream of hurting us because we fear a select few who could and would?
When we don’t trust someone we love, what we’re really saying is, “Your ability to cause me pain is more fearful to me than your ability to cause me pleasure is hopeful.”
• Loyalty •
The late comedienne and actress, Gilda Radner, once said, “I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive.” That’s just one more piece of evidence that these six dog-like qualities are also the foundation for effective, intelligent, and thoughtful communication.
Ellen DeGeneres, one of Hollywood’s most famous dog lovers, had this to say during a 20/20 interview: “They [her two dogs] don’t care that I am gay... they love me no matter what!”
But we already know dogs are loyal. Even if we hadn’t seen the thousand or so movies and TV shows depicting the loyalty of dogs, we as dog lovers have lived their loyalty a thousand times over. You show a dog even a little affection and they return it ten-fold. They will love you, befriend you, and stay by your side, no matter what. They will always admire you. Try asking that of your closest human friend or family member.
Unfortunately, we often don’t return their loyalty. Margery Facklam, an apprentice of TV celebrity zoologist Marlin Perkins and author of more than three dozen books, once opined, “We give dogs love we can spare, time we can spare, and room we can spare. In return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has ever made.”
How often do we give our dogs D-List love, when in their eyes we are always A-List superstars? Now, I agree that we and our dogs need some routine in our lives to provide order. But let’s just ponder how we’re going about it. We may feed them when we’re ready, not when they’re hungry. We may walk them when it’s convenient for us, not when they’re itching for some playful exercise.
If only we were as loyal to our dogs as they are to us, we wouldn’t have to make such a conscious effort to be loyal to others in our lives! When we improve our loyalty to our dogs, in turn we become more loyal to all the others in our lives as well.
Ellen DeGeneres, one of Hollywood’s most famous dog lovers, had this to say during a 20/20 interview: “They [her two dogs] don’t care that I am gay... they love me no matter what!”
• Companionship •
Dogs