The Complete Fab Confessions of Georgia Nicolson: Books 1-10. Louise Rennison
Читать онлайн книгу.
p.m.
I can’t help myself – I have been trailing Jas around all day. I notice she has her very short skirt on and she’s done her hair. Perhaps I could leap on her as she comes out of the loo and duff her up, or I could pay Jackie and Alison to do it.
3:15 p.m.
Rosie, Ellen and Jools are not taking sides in this, which I hate... how dare they be so fair-minded? Rosie said, “He’s only asked her for a coffee to talk... you don’t know what about,” and Jools said, “It’s a free world, you know, you can’t make people do anything.”
How dim and thick can you be? I’d stop speaking to them but then I wouldn’t have anyone to talk to at all.
4:05 p.m.
He’s there in his mini!! Where is Lindsay? Perhaps there will be a fight at the gates. There was a fight once before but that was Mr Attwood and an ice-cream man. Elvis had gone to see him off. He went up to the van and said, “Clear off!” and the ice-cream man said, “Make me, short arse.”
Elvis took off his glasses and his cap and said, “Come out of that van and I will.”
So the ice-cream man did come out of his van and he was about twenty-five foot tall and Elvis said, “Right, well, I’ve told you. That’s my final word... As soon as you have sold as many ice creams as you want, you must leave the school boundaries.”
4:08 p.m.
No sign of Lindsay. I said to Rosie and Jools and Ellen, “Where is Lindsay?”
And Rosie said, “She’s playing badminton.” For heaven’s sake, she is so wet – some snivelling, scheming snot takes her fiancée/boyfriend and all she can do is run around in sports knickers, hitting a ping-pong ball with some feathers stuck in it.
4:10 p.m.
Jas came out in boots. Suede boots, knee-length, with heels!! She’ll get offered money if she hangs around in the streets looking like that.
4:12 p.m.
She has reached the gates. Robbie has opened the door of his mini and gone round the other side and driven off.
Home
4:38 p.m.
I’m going mad. What are they doing now?
5:00 p.m.
Ring Rosie. “Have you heard anything?”
Rosie: “No.”
I said, “Well, call me if you do.”
5:20 p.m.
I’ve called everyone and nobody has heard anything yet. It’s like being in one of those crap plays we have to study. I’ll be left lonely and looking out to sea at the end... possibly with a beard.
5:30 p.m.
I’ve just found I’ve got hairs growing out of my armpits. How did they get there? They weren’t there yesterday.
5:40 p.m.
I’ve got some on my legs as well. I’d better distract myself by getting rid of them with Mum’s razor.
6:00 p.m.
Oh God! Oh God! I’m haemorrhaging. My legs are running with blood – I had to staunch the flow with Mum’s dressing-gown. She’ll kill me if she finds out. I’d better wash it.
6:10 p.m.
Put it in the washing machine with some other stuff before she gets home.
6:30 p.m.
Phone rings. It’s only Mum. She and Libby are round at Uncle Eddie’s and won’t be home until later and I’ve got to get my own tea. Quelle surprise!
Go to the fridge.
6:32 p.m.
I wonder what I’ll have? Hmmm... oh, I know, I’ll have this mouldy old tin of beans that is the only thing in there...
7:00 p.m.
Phone rings.
I fell over the cord getting to it, legs started bleeding again. It was Rosie. “Jas just phoned.”
I almost screamed at her. “And???”
“Well, they had coffee, she says he really is fantastic-looking and also very funny.”
“And?”
“Well, he wanted to talk to her about Tom.”
I started laughing. “Hahahahahha... and she wore her boots. Hahaha.”
Rosie went on, “Yes, he wanted to know if she still likes Tom because he still likes her.”
I put the phone down. Tom. Who cares? Hahahaha. Life is fabby fab fab fabbity fab fab.
7:30 p.m.
La lalalalalalalala. Fabbity fab fab.
7:40 p.m.
Yum yum, beans. Lovely lovely beans.
10:00 p.m.
Oh dear, slight problem. Mum’s dressing gown has shrunk to the size of a doll’s dressing gown. It might fit Libby, I suppose.
Hmmm.
Still. Fabbity fab fab. I’ll think about it tomorrow. For now I must just dance about a bit to a loud tune.
11:00 p.m.
Heard Mum come in but I pretended I was asleep. I’ve hidden the dressing gown at the bottom of my wardrobe.
Thursday March 4th
8:30 a.m.
Jas was waiting for me at her gate. I saw her and started walking really slowly and pretending to be looking through my bag for something. Then I acted like I’d forgotten something and had to go home for it. I walked back and waited behind a hedge for about four minutes and then walked back again. Hurrah, she was gone, my plan worked. But just as I passed her gate she popped up from behind her hedge. She walked alongside me and didn’t say anything and neither did I. It’s funny being silent – you have to be careful to not make any noise. You can’t belch or anything or even clear your throat in case the other person thinks you are going to speak first. When we got to school she handed me a letter. I wouldn’t take it at first but I quite wanted to read it so I did eventually put it in my bag.
1:00 p.m.
First opportunity I’ve had to read the letter because I didn’t want Jas to know that I was keen to read any stupid thing she had to say.
The letter said,
Dear Georgie,
I am sorry that a boy has come between us, it will never happen again. I was stupid and didn’t think of your feelings even though you are my best friend. If there is anything I can do to be your friend again, I will do it.
Jas
PS He isn’t engaged to Lindsay.
1:15 p.m.
So Jas thinks she can just forget the whole sorry affair – drop it just like that. Well, it will take more than a note to make me change my mind about her.
1:20 p.m.
Jas found me by the vending machine and she was a bit nervous. Let her suffer.
1:21 p.m.
Jas went “Er...” and I said, “What do you mean he’s not engaged to Lindsay?”
In my room
5:00 p.m.
Jas is helping me to stretch Mum’s dressing gown. As a punishment for her appalling behaviour she has promised that she