Counseling the Contemporary Woman. Suzanne Degges-White
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can be challenging to learn how to function as a new family unit. Some couples may need to seek outside assistance, such as working with a counselor.
Another phase of the family life cycle—starting a family or childbearing—brings many new challenges. Just as the young couple becomes comfortable with committed or married life, a newborn baby throws that routine completely off. Suddenly, the centeredness around two partners shifts to centeredness around the newborn. Despite the fact that both partners are happily expecting the child and some changes associated with adding a new family member, the arrival of the baby changes the dynamics between the couple, where a new mom could completely be consumed by the needs of a newborn and deprived of sleep and a new dad or partner experiences feelings of being left out of the dyad. Such shifts contribute to feelings of being overwhelmed, exhausted, and not understood. Mothers after giving birth may experience either baby blues or postpartum depression, possibly stemming from fluctuating hormones and other environmental factors. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) (2019), approximately 70 to 80 percent of mothers will experience the “baby blues” after giving birth. Postpartum depression, something much more severe, is experienced by 10 to 15 percent of new mothers (CDC, 2019). The appearance of these can complicate adjustment to and the necessary shift in a couple’s dynamics. If symptoms of either of these are present in your client, assess for depression and engage the client in appropriate treatment as quickly as possible.
Research suggests that marriage provides multiple benefits for couples. Women accrue more physical and mental health benefits from good marriages, whereas men benefit regardless of the quality of the marriage (Gottman & Gottman, 2015; Levenson, Carstensen, & Gottman, 1993). Some of the benefits include lower mortality, less risky behaviors, improved physical and psychological well-being, higher satisfaction with sex life, higher income, and more savings (Gottman & Gottman, 2015). However, not all women will choose married life or remain in a marriage for their lifetime.
Divorced and Single Mothers
Over the last decade or so, the U.S. divorce rate began falling and has continued this trend (U.S. Census Bureau, 2018). This change might reflect millennials’ attitudes toward marriage, suggesting that young people are doing things differently. They tend to marry later in life, often after they have completed their education and are more financially stable; this contributes to marriage longevity. However, emerging and young women are more likely to divorce than older women (U.S. Census Bureau, 2018), leaving many of them single mothers, unless they marry again. About 75 percent of divorced women will remarry, usually around three years after a divorce (U.S. Census Bureau, 2018). Single mothers face multiple stressors associated with gender, work, socioeconomic status, and marital status. While two-thirds of single mothers are employed outside the home, only half of single mothers are employed full-time all year long. The median income for single mothers is $41,700 as compared to $90,380 for a married couple. Not only do single mothers earn less, only a third of them receive child support. Out of ten million low-income working families with children, 40 percent were headed by single working mothers. The proportion is much higher for African Americans (65 percent), compared to whites (36 percent). In terms of education, only 34 percent of single mothers have earned college degrees; a lack of funding for education can lead to a lifetime of earnings inequity. Despite all the challenges that single mothers might face, they are more likely than earlier generations were to choose divorce when they are stuck in an unhappy marriage.
In a society where access to and attainment in education have mushroomed for women, many will choose to postpone marriage and childbearing until much later than their mothers. They may also choose to raise a child on their own, a path that was dubbed “the single mother by choice” when it emerged in the 1980s. This choice may be driven by a variety of forces, such as the absence of a significant other and concerns about the “biological clock” ticking. To accomplish this, a woman must intentionally initiate and plan the conception of a child. Everything from technological advances or agreements and encounters with friends may produce the desired outcome. All in all, however, it is estimated that only 3 percent of women who are not cohabitating or are not married will choose to have a child on their own (Hayford & Guzzo, 2015). As social expectations have shifted, the expectations for relationship milestones have also changed as well. In addition, the timing of relationship developments may be affected by engagement in educational and occupational pursuits.
School and Work Transitions
The world of work is changing rapidly as a result of economic and demographic trends along with technological innovations (Lemme, 2006). Lippert and Damaske (2019) found that for women who completed a college degree there were more job opportunities than for those who did not do so. They found that the health benefits for women who were able to successfully balance family and work tended to be more pronounced in women who were of a high SES group and had greater job flexibility and higher paying jobs. Women who did not have college degrees and had low paying jobs tended to have an increased level of stress and more difficulty balancing family and work. Career pathways for women are explored more fully in chapter 8 through a lifespan approach. However, it is important to note that emerging adulthood is when career starts, stops, and transitions may be frequent.
Challenges in the Workforce
As noted, women in the workforce are explored in more detail in chapter 8. However, it is worth noting in this chapter that regardless of their preparation and training, some women face unexpected challenges in the workplace due to such things as sexism and ageism, among other factors. Nelson, Sendroiu, Dinovitzer, and Dawe (2019) pointed out that traditionally marginalized groups will perceive discrimination more often than other groups. Additionally, women who have children tend to perceive discrimination in the workplace at a higher rate than other women and even men with children (Kay & Wallace, 2009). Stereotyping continues to be an issue that contributes to workplace discrimination and often goes unchecked and unaddressed (Nelson et al., 2018). Even if discrimination is occurring in the workplace it can be hard to prove due to narrow legal definitions. For women, this often results in the lack of opportunities to advance careers, lack of credit for ideas, and the sense they must perform at a much higher standard than their male colleagues and peers (Fink, 2018).
The workplace expectations can be confusing and frustrating for women. Women are expected to fit into workplaces that were designed for men. The structured system of workplaces requires that women find a way to fit into these environments and when they do, they often are not well received. Women are then stuck in a catch-22 when they face the possibility of being fired for demonstrating stereotypically male behaviors (Ballakrishnen, Fielding-Singh, & Magliozzi, 2019). Some women may then tend to maintain a low profile doing their jobs but not in a way that makes them noticed when it comes to promotions. For emerging adult women, figuring out and navigating the workplace can be challenging.
Emerging adults are in the midst of a busy time of life. Not only are they focused on solidifying their adult identities, they are also navigating the world of work and multiple relationships. There are multiple jokes about the trepidation that this age group has about “adulting,” but it can be a daunting task to balance work along with family relationships, friendships, and romantic partnerships. These are just a few of the potential areas of concern that an emerging adult woman might present to her counselor.
Best Practices for Working with
Emerging Adult Women
Emerging and young adulthood can present women with challenging transitions that may shift their inner selves and external relationships. Women in this developmental stage are fully mature, independent, and at the peak of their physical development. However, they often seek counseling to help them better manage the transitions that occur during this potent period. Here are some suggestions for best meeting the needs of these clients:
1 Be familiar with the characteristics of a client’s developmental stage; be cognizant of the typical progression of physical, cognitive, emotional, and psychosocial development.
2 Allow space for variation and uniqueness in every developmental theory. Theory is there to