Counseling the Contemporary Woman. Suzanne Degges-White
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that she likes traveling and camping and exploring new sites. She shared that she is good with kids and likes cooking and baking. Her grades are good, and she noted proudly that she had been on the dean’s list. She is a supportive friend.
The counselor stepped in and added that she sees her as independent and responsible since she is holding a job while studying and paying for her own car and insurance. Agneshka reluctantly agreed. Her counselor encouraged Agneshka to think about some small things she would like to change about her feelings and her situations. Agneshka shared her wants, and together they cocreated some basic goals and objectives to accomplish. The list looked like this:
1 To improve relationships through reducing conflicts: with my dad and stepmother and with my boyfriend
2 To improve mood: feel less anxious, less depressed, and therefore feel good about myself
3 To be more independent and eventually move out
Brief Conceptualization
Before any further work, it is helpful to bear in mind Agneshka’s current developmental status. As a young woman of Polish descent, her cultural background will play a role in her counseling work, even though she was raised in the United States. As an emerging adult, she has needs for independence and intimacy. She is also working on getting her education in order to establish her professional career. Cognitively, postformal thought allows her to consider multiple angles and contradictory perspectives. Further, her dualistic tendencies (“right vs. wrong” thought patterns) still persist until she moves into relativistic thinking that will allow her to honor different opinions. She might not have access to all possible information needed in order to make the best decision, and there are no preestablished answers. She has met with barriers related to her expected gender role and her own vision of her career path and identity. While she wants to become a wife and a parent, her independence and career come first. Such difference in views (gender, family, and culture) and tendencies for dualistic thinking contribute to frequent relational conflict, leading her to see only one possible solution to her problems, to move out of her parents’ house. In relation to her stepmother, Agneshka’s behaviors can be seen as a result of competition over her dad’s attention. Further, feeling dismissed by her father and lacking a strong support network of female friends may contribute to her decision to date a man who is significantly older than she is and who is a father to two children; Agneshka may be seeking validation and support through this relationship.
Final Wrap-Up
While working with Agneshka, her counselor can best help her by doing the following: Show respect for Agneshka’s thinking and keep in mind that promoting reflective thinking needs to be done in a supportive atmosphere. Encourage Agneshka to gather necessary information about a problem she is facing, evaluate the quality of the information she retrieves, and draw a conclusion based on evaluated facts. Assist Agneshka in concretely examining the assumptions she is using in making her decision about issues she is facing. Lastly, pay attention to Agneshka’s culture and how this may be influencing her thinking and decision making. Agneshka and her counselor, besides working on already established goals, can also explore Agneshka’s identity and facilitate a deeper self-understanding in order for Agneshka to navigate her relationships in a more meaningful and intentional manner.
Questions for Reflection
1 What additional information would you as a counselor like to gather about Agneshka, considering her developmental phase?
2 What are some additional issues Agneshka should address during counseling?
3 Are there any ethical considerations that are relevant to working with Agneshka?
4 What approach would you take when working with Agneshka as her counselor?
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