A Cure for All Diseases. Reginald Hill
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Andy it is. Will you be up to walking to the clinic, Andy? Or shall I bring a chair for you?
Ee, I do love a cheeky woman. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I fancy a shower. Don’t suppose you’d like to come in with me? I’ve got these muscle pains when I try to scrub my back.
I’m sorry to hear that, Andy, but it would be more than my job’s worth.
Oh, I think I could guarantee that, Pet.
Who’s a big mouth then? One little twitch when the beautiful Stiggi’s straddling your bum and you’re making like Don Juan! And it were only a few days back you were thinking that lass would have made a good concentration camp warder! Funny how feeling better changes your view of folk. Reminds me of summat Pete Pascoe once said when I wanted to haul someone into the Factory for questioning. Let’s start him off at home, he said. Once you feel like a prisoner, everyone looks like a guard.
Clever clogs were right, as per usual! I don’t feel like a prisoner any more and I can see yon Pet’s not a bad-looking woman, specially now I’ve got her to crack her face.
Time for that shower. What’s that, Mildred? Better make it a cold one?
Just for that you’re going back in the cistern!
Over and out!
| FROM: | [email protected] |
| TO: | [email protected] |
| SUBJECT: | the hunk & his handle! |
Hi!
Really pleased to hear from you – was getting worried – but not as worried as I would have been if Id known! No – nothing on the news here – small African hospital under mortar fire – no one dead – doesnt hit the headlines. Just as well maybe – for mum & dads sake I mean – saves a lot of brick walls from being banged!
Anyway – I feel real guilty – lounging around here – in what must be the safest healthiest place in the world – boring you with my rustic rollickings! But you say it helps keep you on an even keel knowing theres still places like sleepy little Sandytown in the world – so heres the next exciting episode!
Or rather the next several episodes – each centred on a man – just so you dont get the impression youve got exclusive rights!
First Teddy – the hunk with the handle – literally! – as I have seen – & you will hear!
Weather was so warm today – I thought Id head for the beach – see if it had improved since the famous trip!
Tom was too busy to join me – thank heaven – I wanted to swim not talk – or rather listen! He said this was the day hed fixed for Mr Godley – the healer – to drive over & take a look at the set-up in Sandytown – & he hoped Id be back in time to meet him – as he knew how it would help with my study – which Im finally making a bit of progress with. Remembering how Godly Gordon took against me first time we met – I dont anticipate much encouragement there – but of course I said I hoped so too.
One other thing Tom said – rather awkwardly for him was – re the meeting at the Avalon – Charlotte – as it is mainly – nay solely – concerned with the alternative therapists – we – that is Lester Feldenhammer & myself – deemed it unnecessary to invite Lady Denham – so – should you chance into her company – it might be diplomatic not to say anything about it! –
Playing with fire there – Tom – I thought. But I was rather flattered to find myself part of a Sandytown conspiracy – so I said – no bother! – & my reward was that big boyish smile.
The kids were off doing their own thing somewhere – so I didnt have to offer to take them – which was a relief. My dip in the hotel pool had whetted my appetite for a real swim – not paddling around in the shallows – keeping an eye on young Parkers.
So off I went – cozzie on under a wrap – towel over my shoulder.
Only a fifteen minute walk down into the village – might take a bit longer coming back up the hill – I thought – but sufficient is the evil – remember?
Met quite a few people who said hello – more than Im likely to meet in Willingden – being Tom Parkers guest gets you on the social register big time!
The beach was pretty crowded. School hols – lots of families – an ice cream van – a burger stall – deck chairs – all the usual stuff for screwing money out of people. I guessed the Hope & Anchor was doing pretty good business too. All in all – Sandytown looks like its booming. Good news for the Consortium – Tom delighted because the prosperity gets shared around – Lady D because she sees her investment paying out big.
Mary – in her oblique way – has made it quite clear that civic responsibility doesnt figure large in Lady Ds world view. Profits the thing. With her own family money – plus the Hollis fortune – she could lounge her life away in luxury. But a lots never enough for the rich. She wants – even more!
Sorry – boring!
But you can wake up now. Im getting close to the beach – & the hunk!
Like I say – it was crowded – so I wandered along to the furthest extreme of the bay – marked by a rocky outcrop running out into the sea from the foot of North Cliff. You could probably get round the end of this at low tide – but now – with the tide well up – tho retreating – it created a bit of a barrier – reinforced by a sign on a steel post driven into the rock which warned – NO PUBLIC ACCESS – PRIVATE BEACH.
This was just the kind of thing the HB would have erected! So naturally I went scrambling up there without a moments hesitation!
From the top of the outcrop – I found myself looking down on to another bay – much smaller than Sandytowns – but also a lot emptier. In fact there were only four people there – & I wasnt too surprised to see they were Lady Denham – Teddy & his sister – & Clara Brereton.
The younger ones were wearing swimming costumes – Clara a polka dot bikini – that showed her boobs & bum to advantage – slender she might be – but even malice couldnt call her skinny. Lovely pale skin – dont know what sunblock she uses but its worth every penny to keep that lovely pearly glow – probably bathes in asses milk every morning. Stopped feeling sorry for her – even if she does have to skivvy for Lady D!
Esther was in a black one piece – revealing she was no frump either – though while Claras charms – asses milk apart – look all natural – I guess Ests are the best money could buy.
Miaow!
Mind – I had to look at her twice – because – sitting at Lady Ds feet – looking up at the old bat – & listening to her with every sign of interest & pleasure – it was hard to recognize the sourpuss Id encountered the previous day – no – once again I was put in mind of the sweaty laughing girl Id seen at the Bengel-bar disco.
Her ladyship was – naturally – enthroned in a canvas directors chair – with the others – naturally – occupying rugs on the sand.
Teddy – yes Im getting to the meat of my tale – was sprawled alongside Clara – almost but not quite touching – looking up at her with what – even at a distance – I recognized as hot bedroom eyes. She was sitting on her haunches – holding her two yards of shapely leg close to her body – as if scared any relaxation would invite an immediate assault on her pudenda – though whether it was concern for her honour – or awareness of Lady Ds proximity – that kept her virtuous – I couldnt tell.
& Teddy the bart? Im