All That Is Left Of Us. Catherine Miller
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to be involved at this early stage. David had been her rock when Archie was born. He’d made sure she ate when she’d not been able to put Archie down. He would take Archie out for a walk when she’d not slept a wink all night. They’d been so young, but unlike the rest of the family, he’d not turned his back on her by moving to another country. She was certain she wouldn’t have got through that period of time without his help. Which is why it felt alien to not be offering her support at this point in time, when getting to grips with the baby would be tough going. But then, she supposed giving birth for them kind of made up for it.
The official arrangement was that, a couple of weeks after the baby’s arrival, the newly formed family would come over to the flat for a Sunday roast. By that point Dawn should have recovered and Rebekah would have bonded with baby. It sounded like a sane enough plan and Dawn was looking forward to meeting her nephew without feeling like he was her son.
‘Come on, Mum.’ Archie started running towards the entrance as soon as they arrived.
‘Slow down. I can’t run today. You’ll have to walk.’ Dawn was really regretting not asking Jane to come along as well. In her memory, she recalled recovering pretty quickly from Archie’s birth, and while she’d not had a rough time of it this time round, running around after an enthusiastic ten-year-old had not been on the recovery agenda last time.
Fortunately, Archie did slow down. It was only recently he seemed to be paying more attention to what she was saying and the timing couldn’t be better. It was possible her baby boy was turning into a young man and, if he was going through a good phase, she needed to enjoy it as only God knew what the teenage years would be like. And it was a positive thing to think that soon it would be the summer holidays and she would have the time to spend with him.
‘Do you think Joel will still be there?’ Archie asked once they were through the entrance.
‘I don’t know. He’ll have lots of things to do today. He might have gone to look after some of the other animals.’
‘Oh.’
‘We’ll know soon enough.’ They were on the path that led to the meerkat enclosure.
‘Can I go and see?’
It was a straight path. Archie wouldn’t go out of sight so Dawn nodded agreement. ‘I’ll be there in a minute. Mum can’t do any rushing today.’
Dawn watched him run off and continued meandering along. She seemed to be going at a slower pace than when she’d been waddling on her last visit. It was like her muscles weren’t willing to play ball yet and were eager for some extra time off. She would have to get in touch with Jane. She’d help her out with Archie and provide her with some evening company. There was a chance she might say ‘I told you so’ over the recovery being harder than Dawn had envisaged, but best friends were allowed to point out when you’d been wrong.
Lost in her troubles, Archie nearly knocked her over when he doubled back at such a speed he’d have knocked skittles over. ‘Joel is here.’
‘Gosh. Well, that’s good.’ Dawn wasn’t sure why Archie was so excited, but it really was nice to see those kinds of emotions coming out in him.
‘Can I have my notebook?’
Crap. Today was going so well. She didn’t want to be the one to break the news that she’d forgotten it.
‘Can I have my notepad? We’re going to go through my checks.’
Dawn closed her eyes briefly, dizziness washing over her for a nanosecond. ‘I don’t have it. Sorry, Archie, my brain wasn’t in gear when we left.’ In the years they’d been coming here, Dawn hadn’t ever forgotten the notepad because doing so would be tantamount to treason. Archie would likely disown her for such disorganisation regarding a ritual that was sacrosanct. This weekly activity was Archie’s lifeblood, and what would happen if he didn’t have his notes from the previous week’s activities? Well, they were about to find out.
Dawn was psyching herself up for screaming and shouting. She expected a tantrum so spectacular that every passer-by would stare and wonder why she wasn’t able to control her child. When that didn’t happen, it took a second for her to register the fact that Archie was turning on his heel and running away from her.
‘Archie?’ As much as she didn’t feel able to, she found herself picking up her pace in an effort to follow him. If Archie ran away and she couldn’t find him, she didn’t know what she would do. He had friends who did it regularly, causing their mothers no end of heartache and worry. It was a habit she hoped he never picked up. ‘Archie, I can’t run. Stay here. We’ll buy you a new notepad. It’ll be okay.’ She was already breathless when she’d barely broken into a jog.
‘I’ll be at the meerkats,’ Archie shouted back.
Thank goodness for that. At least he didn’t have plans to run off in some unknown direction. Dawn stopped and got her breath back. God, she knew she’d been a bit of a slob while she’d been the life support to another human being, but surely not to the point where the slightest physical exertion was enough to ground her.
When she found the energy to put one foot in front of the other, she reached the meerkat enclosure and tried not to panic when she didn’t spot her son. ‘Archie? Where are you?’ The area was fairly empty so it was okay for her to sound like an irrational, panicky mother. If the past week was anything to go by, it was getting close to the truth.
Dawn started to wind her way around the circular pen. It was a hidden corner within the zoo so didn’t get as busy as the enclosures on the main route. There weren’t many places her son could hide. Inside the pen were some branches and a bank, which were a regular lookout spot for the meerkats, and they were enough to camouflage a section on the opposite side. But the further round she went, more of the blind spot became visible, with no sign of her son. ‘Archie,’ she shouted with a definite edge of fear.
‘I’m here, Mum.’
The small voice came from behind Dawn and she turned quicker than was appropriate when feeling as delicate as she was. She wanted to drag him to her bosom and tell him never to run off like that again. But more than likely that would cause the meltdown they’d so far avoided, and he’d not really run off when he was at the location he’d told her he would be.
‘Everything okay?’ Dawn asked because he was inside the keeper’s area – the small cabin where everything the meerkats needed was prepared.
‘Yes. I told Joel that you’d forgotten my notes, but I knew it would be okay because he photocopied them last week.’ Archie and Joel came out and joined her.
‘Oh, phew, that’s good.’ Dawn was struck by the man standing next to her son. She’d been so preoccupied last time they met she’d not paid him much attention. Along with his dreadlocks, he had a dark tan which, with his khaki shirt and shorts, made him look every inch the part of Crocodile Dundee, only without a reptile that needed wrestling in sight.
‘Archie’s being a great help with me learning about the different family members.’
‘So, you’re new?’ Dawn wanted to sit down now she knew he was safe.
‘New to the meerkats. We swap the animals we work with every six months. Part of a learning programme at the zoo. Means we get to work with all the different animals we want to. Meerkats fascinate me.’
No wonder Archie had warmed to him. ‘Do you have a notepad Archie can use?’ Dawn didn’t mean to be cheeky, but if it would save her traipsing to the gift shop she was willing to ask.
‘We’ve already sorted one and we’re about to start the checks. Are you happy for me to go through them with Archie? It’s really helping me.’
‘Elspeth and Evelyn are really hard. Joel can’t tell them apart yet.’
‘As long as it is helpful for you?’ Joel’s dreadlocked hair was tied back and his dark tan made him look like he spent every possible hour out in the sunshine.