The World of Unicellular. This Book is a Medicine from Moronity. Oleg Seriy
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most hidden and inaccessible part of the universe, in the center, from which the whole life originates, and where those are, who invisibly to rules us. ‘He was forged from the iron by the hand of the God, and tempered stronger than steel by the will of Destiny’. He will rule the Earth with his iron hand and will set on the world throne only the worthy candidate. On Earth, as a punishment for his excessive boldness, braveness and fore, he will be forced to fight for her hand and heart. He was seen by many people, the whole world history is often using his name, but nobody knows anything about him for sure. Many thousand years ago he saw evil for the first time, he swore to destroy it… His strength and power is undeniable throughout the universe, and even the Lord of darkness is afraid to deal with him and wants to head up his legions. The Greeks used to call him —Ares, god of war, the Romans – Mars. His armor is not a super costume or super force, but iron will, steel character, unlimited cunning and reckless courage. His freedom-loving and rebellious nature did not allow him to bow to any of the kings. His motto is ‘Justice and Love’. But under this impenetrable armor hides а very different person: not a superman, thin-skinned and inconsolably exhausted by his fate, the same little boy from the garden Eden. But still there is something that is even stronger than him. Will his eternal love manage to break through that armor and get him back to the light until it becomes too late? This is only the beginning of the most famous ancient legend that began even before the foot of the first man stepped on Earth. How will it end? Nobody knows it yet. But eventually we all will find that out”.
Phillip Victor Drobin Dvalva
Well, firstly, the most mighty warrior is getting his mission not once in several, but once in many centuries. Secondly, nobody assigns his missionsto him, he takes it himself. Thirdly, he is already tired of those missions and striving for rest. Fourthly, The Warrior is not his name… Well, he has a lot of names. But just three of them are the key ones: stage 1: Lucifer (Eden is his deployment site; evolution); stage 2: AntiChrist (Hell is his deployment site; degradation), stage 3: MaRiCaBo (Earth is his deployment site; evolution). And on the Earth, he was forced to fight to get as much as Eve herself (in various incarnations preceding the Universal Coronation). He loved her, seduced, and fucked her once back in Eden being the Supreme Angel called Lucifer (which means literally Bringing Light). Yes, he really was, and is, brave and impertinent enough to woo Eve, but he is also modest and vulnerable, and this side of his life is nearly unknown… He is cruel, but he feels real pity for all he punished or is punishing. He is wise, but you will hardly manage to find a better fool. Well, that is The One, full of contradictions and conformities, randomness and regularity, strength and weakness, love and hatred, wisdom and stupidity, good and evil…
When a unicellular is talking to the Lord, it is called Prayer,
but when the Lord is talking to a unicellular, it is called Schizophrenia.
Anecdote
But let us get back to the World of Unicellular… How was it created?!? Well, there is a theory… About the one who has created those unicellular along with their world (actually, their turmoil) … The theory was developed by a great poster called Shiga (rated as Spartacian). By the time of our discovery of his great Unicellular World Creation Theory, he had already made as much as 3110 posts. He is from Sarani. And his theory is from there too.
Posted: Fri Dec 31, 2004 1:40 am
Post subject: The official religions of the Flash Mob party.
Jamgihism. Introduction
Me, “Guru”, Farid Al-Sarani Ibn Rinat Ibn Halfimulla Ibn Harryfulla Ibn Gurubuddhas present a new faith to all those living on the Earth. This is a religion which is the kindof a prophecy written from the words of an anonymous guy. Let’s call him this way – the Dude – just to be precise. So the Dude revealed a horrible story to me – the whole world is created by Jamgick – the God of Pot and Moochingaround who is the highest being as far as a real Jamgiman understands it. Well, I did write the story but in a condition the Dude was any folk could have made a hash of it. In short, believe me or not but it goes as follows.
The book of Jamgihism. Chapter one or the Holiest book about life, things and him.
1. How Jamgick created the World.
At first there was a word and the word was (actually two words) – Wonna gorge! There was Jamgick, a good fella who was living peacefully in one of the ghettos of the Universe until buggers got to him. Give away, they say, all the pot you have. And Jamgick told “mother fucker” and there was “mother fucker”. Jamgick took a gun tube and smacked some bugger on the dome and there started butchery. Blood, flying bodies and teeth on the concrete. To cut it short, Jamgick bumped the buggers off and there was nowhere to bury them, so, damn it, he created the Earth and settled down there, grew pot and other grass to make life brighter or else you can’t get fried up. He created vegetables and beasts of all kinds just to nibble on them. Some kinds of donkeys were created – just to take a few examples – hipplohonuses and damnasayisits. Then he took to making topography (what a superb designer he was). He went to stool – there you have America. He spread out his pot to dry it – there you have Kazakhstan. He founda place to cool his booze – there you have Russia. So, he tortured our poor old Earth in a big way. He lived on and all the time he lacked imagination as for human elements. For the time being…
2. How Jamgick has created all this people?
In short, Jamgick sat on a stone, read Charles Marx and smoked pot. Well, he became woozy and had some glitches. In such condition of complete detachment Jamgick also has created Admin and Pleva (according to the image of his glitches). Admin and Pleva were rubbing along the same as ever around the Chujsky valley. Jamgick spoke: “Live on a horse-radish, even do not pay the rent. But remember, if you smoke pot from a sacred tree of Hemp, a piss-up will be with you on a horse-radish. Ask Mahmud fora pot”. So, Admin and Pleva lived and lived till they have smoked all pot of Mahmud. And Mahmud did not collect a new crop, a bastard. So, comes and speaks to the Admin and Pleva: “Why do you behave as Chupakabras? There are much pot on sacred tree, and Jamgick will grow up more – he is a great master of his business”. So, they also have blown a sacred pot, and they were so flattened and covered that they have departed from the Chujsky valley to Magadan. Jamgick has told: “And! fucking hempsmokers, caught it at last! Well, live as you want. It is up to you, but never cross the threshold of my place.”
3. On Stone and Afiga.
Admin and Pleva have moved more to the centre and have lodged at one pusher’s summer residence. They had two sons – Stone (in honour of a stone, on which Jamgick sat while creating people) and Afig (A fig knows why he was named in such a way!). Stone traded at east market, and Afig – on western. Stone was doing quite bad, it was necessary even to pledge the house in “Currencies-transits”. And Afig at the same time bought Audi. Wow!!! So, Stone rated on Afig to cops, saying that his brother sells moonshine. In short, Stone was a rat. Oh! And Jamgick speaks: “Do not rat on, do not polish off and do not bump off other men”.
4. About Gnoah and his steamboat.
The dudes were rubbing along the same as ever. They were reveling so much that even things get a little wild and wooly. But somehow many guys began to treat themselves to some moonshine, cocaine and acid. Jamgick looked around, inhaled and said: “Hey, dudes, you are flipped over. I’ll get you done”. And decided to send all them to the damned bottom. But still not all of them. There was a guy, called Gnoah. So he was a true fan of Jamgick and a follower, so were his relatives. In short, Jamgick told him: “Let’s cut the bullshit, soon there will be a flood – all the central regions will be damned submerged. Weather forecast will inform nothing. In short, build the steamboat, take your relatives, and different animals to eat, and get out of here as soon as possible”. Gnoah built the steamboat and called it “Titanic”, dragged