The World of Unicellular. This Book is a Medicine from Moronity. Oleg Seriy
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then hunger came upon them, all the pot stock swapped on food. And then Moisha started begging. And Jamgick sent them heavenly jamga and beer of “Karaganda”, and the people satisfied their hunger. Eventually Moisha died somewhereby the road, before he reached the Chujsky valley, but his people did and they established there new city called Ahalay-Mahalay.
9. On the 2nd war with maturganchiks or war after Pumpururum.
About one hundred years ago a wise and a fair ruler Hashish Maganbershovich governed the Second Folk Republic of Jamgiland, as Jamgimen named their new state. He became famous for extended the borders of the republic to the hemp fieldsof Afghanistan. The republic prospered and became basis of peaceful international relations. Anyway, but in the west there were dark business with participation of maturganchiks. With the help of diplomacy, bribes and force, they achieved the destruction of wall and confession of the fascist state in a world association. In union with the puppet state of Pumpururum (being in the neighbourhood with the Second Folk Republic Jamgiland) they founded the union of “Tupakaban”, having a goal to take fertile earths of Jamgiland and set them with different muck. Aggression, that was undertaken by maturganchiks, was based on permanent boundary collisions with Jamgimen, but in one not very much zany day, the army of “Tupakabana” passed a border and began to bump off peaceful citizens from crapguns. Hashish ordered his troops to gather and go out to the borders of the republic, but there was an autumn, and it was rather difficult to collect an army, because all flew away in nirvana after the great day of liberation (on November, the 7th). Well and Hashish made statements on radio: “Hey, people, you are sweaty dude, don’t you understand anything. Till you grab some grub, rotten maturganchiks took Kem. Such problems we have, and you, damn… Jamgimen – you are great people. You were bumped off, and you got up on feet and hollowed all the way.
But now time changed and a grass is not a controlling thing in our life, in fact our freedom is set on a stake. Hey, men, be my guest on raising the country. You are the real fighters and all are end, who are against you. Maturganchiks-freaks will go away from our earths, and after our victory we will arrange such booze-up that all cunt will come.
Get up a country is enormous,
Get up on a death fight
With fascist force dark
All will be a tryn-grass”.
The Fucking-Up has reached people and they finally pulled up their socks. The Jamgimen’s army was gathered ina moment. And now on the battlefield face to face there are two hand-picked armies of two unappeasable cities: Maturgan (“The Servants of Evil” army) and Ahalay-Mahalay (“One-night Stand” army). Our guys wore the red uniform, hostiles – the blue one. Guests were the first to take the initiative; they even dared to give a bloody nose to our officers. And the only respond the “red guys” could give, was to make some distant slams towards the guests’ left flank. By the thirty minute “One-nights” took a chance for countercharge supported widely by the defense regiments in the trains’ area. A couple of times the guests’ General helped them out with his adroit defense commanding. Still, by the time of a break the hosts succeeded to open a score – the right hand rifles section has been completely knocked out. After a little rest the guests took a plunge into an adventure, throwing the trains for attack. And it’s been their last and critical mistake in the match. Jamgimen burst into the center and crashed the whole central platoon nimbly; they had exterminated the General and the good halfof his defenders. Domination of the “Reds” lasted till the very ending of the match. At last there comes the final whistle, everyone rush to whack the Blue ones. Hashish cries out “Whack the gaylords!” and the circle with the locked-on maturganers started to shrink (and so did the gigi by the way). Suddenly the huge Pumpurum’s platoon showed underhandedly. “Trick bag” said Hashish and rushed to the battle in the first flight. Having whacked twenty six deadbeats from the neighboring country Hashish missed the sudden kick at his jaw made with a baseball club (made of aluminum) and then had been taken to the intensive care. Now Brigadier General of liberation army in the Fucking-Shitty region Ykvambur Armorwind Chimny took the command. He gripped AK and with the yell “Tweak the dickhead’s ass!” dashed to a battle, just like Hashish did before. The battle lasted for three days and three nights and, finally, on the dawn of the fourth day, the exhausted troops of Jamgiland risked for the last maneuver. They had dug a huge gap underneath the Pumpurum’s camp and sent it into the pit of hell. The celebration of the victory lasted for twenty weeks and the three-year stockpile of pot, which has become six fold cheaper now, has been smoked out. Hashish recovered and presented Chimny with the medal of Marks the Saint. Pumpurum’s and maturganchiks’ fate had been determined after the celebration. Pumpurum was transformed into Proletary-Potty High Republic (as a part of Jamgiland), while the maturganchiks were deported to the immense vastness of Sahara Desert, that has thrown them back for a several centuries in their evolution. But with this war some independent sects have appearedin the Jamgihism teachings…
10. On the independent flows in jamgihism.
The giving up smoking of pot and non-interference of Jamgick in the war served as catalyst for some changings in jamgihism. As a result, some isolated flows arised: orthodox jamgihism, material jamgihism and real jamgihism, and also the allegation of some members of the 2 last flows in the alternative jamgihism. And if the first two went on living by “Lawsof Moishe”, three other flows significantly reformed the faith.
A) The material jamgihism.
The materialists founded the flow because of non-interference Jamgick in the second war. They grounded the teaching as sincere faith in Jamgick – as a real creature, but in the same time they do not consider him to be a God and generally deny any God worship. They consider Jamgick to be some kind of the guy living highly in mountains and smoking pot. Of course, Jamgick has paranormal capabilities in their comprehension, but nevertheless he is material and his death is quite possible. In opinion of materialists, Jamgick did not create the Earth, but brought people exactly from the previous place of residence. The materialists also use grass in the achievement of higher beatitude, as well as orthodox persons do. Practically they do not differ from orthodoxies in culture, but they do not wear sacred amulets with jamga, unbelieving in its divine origin.
The follow the conceptions, which do not concern the divine origin of Jamgick; and where they are, the concepts are important, they walk around it a side. As well as Jamgick.
B) Real Jamgihism.
Realists believe in Jamgick as well as orthodox Jamgiman and their main difference is they don’t smoke the pot. It has been just after the war – many citizens had seen that they were able to live without pot and it was quite good and it was even healthy, because nobody forbade drinking beer. In some months after the war some plantations with hemp were closed and there was hop planted. Realists understand that the excessive use of hemp reduce to moral decay of jamgimen, but at the same time they consider that at the higher level of society’s development it will be possible to live without pot.
C) Alternativists have joined two previous movements in one new movement which became the most progressive (but not the most veritable in understanding of orthodoxies). Alternativists stopped to smoke pot and recognized Jamgick as a dude – as in materialism. In short, they have united 2 steams and became as atheists (not in all but they did it). In the doctrine they are based all on the same war. About it tells their slogan “Without the pot and Jamgick, but with life”. From concepts of Moishe they took only morally-ethical (if so it is possible to call them). Despite of such split, jamgihism unlike other religions hasn’t broken up, and continued to exist, as it there was the most democratic religion at that time.
Hashish concluded the alliance with representatives of all currents jamgihism and has collected “Council of beliefs” which has designated near future contours. It has served the creation in the future in Jamgiland the first communistic state in the