Anton Chekhov: Plays, Short Stories, Diary & Letters (Collected Edition). Anton Chekhov
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all here, let’s come to a complete understanding, once and for all. What have you against me? What is it?
OLGA. Please don’t, Audrey dear. We’ll talk tomorrow. [Excited] What an awful night!
ANDREY. [Much confused] Don’t excite yourself. I ask you in perfect calmness; what have you against me? Tell me straight.
VERSHININ’S VOICE. Trum-tum-tum!
MASHA. [Stands; loudly] Tra-ta-ta! [To OLGA] Goodbye, Olga, God bless you. [Goes behind screen and kisses IRINA] Sleep well…. Goodbye, Andrey. Go away now, they’re tired… you can explain tomorrow…. [Exit.]
ANDREY. I’ll only say this and go. Just now…. In the first place, you’ve got something against Natasha, my wife; I’ve noticed it since the very day of my marriage. Natasha is a beautiful and honest creature, straight and honourable — that’s my opinion. I love and respect my wife; understand it, I respect her, and I insist that others should respect her too. I repeat, she’s an honest and honourable person, and all your disapproval is simply silly… [Pause] In the second place, you seem to be annoyed because I am not a professor, and am not engaged in study. But I work for the zemstvo, I am a member of the district council, and I consider my service as worthy and as high as the service of science. I am a member of the district council, and I am proud of it, if you want to know. [Pause] In the third place, I have still this to say… that I have mortgaged the house without obtaining your permission…. For that I am to blame, and ask to be forgiven. My debts led me into doing it… thirty-five thousand… I do not play at cards any more, I stopped long ago, but the chief thing I have to say in my defence is that you girls receive a pension, and I don’t… my wages, so to speak…. [Pause.]
KULIGIN. [At the door] Is Masha there? [Excitedly] Where is she? It’s queer…. [Exit.]
ANDREY. They don’t hear. Natasha is a splendid, honest person. [Walks about in silence, then stops] When I married I thought we should be happy… all of us…. But, my God…. [Weeps] My dear, dear sisters, don’t believe me, don’t believe me…. [Exit.]
[Fire-alarm. The stage is clear.]
IRINA. [behind her screen] Olga, who’s knocking on the floor?
OLGA. It’s doctor Ivan Romanovitch. He’s drunk.
IRINA. What a restless night! [Pause] Olga! [Looks out] Did you hear? They are taking the brigade away from us; it’s going to be transferred to some place far away.
OLGA. It’s only a rumour.
IRINA. Then we shall be left alone…. Olga!
OLGA. Well?
IRINA. My dear, darling sister, I esteem, I highly value the Baron, he’s a splendid man; I’ll marry him, I’ll consent, only let’s go to Moscow! I implore you, let’s go! There’s nothing better than Moscow on earth! Let’s go, Olga, let’s go!
Curtain
ACT IV
[The old garden at the house of the PROSOROVS. There is a long avenue of firs, at the end of which the river can be seen. There is a forest on the far side of the river. On the right is the terrace of the house: bottles and tumblers are on a table here; it is evident that champagne has just been drunk. It is midday. Every now and again passersby walk across the garden, from the road to the river; five soldiers go past rapidly. CHEBUTIKIN, in a comfortable frame of mind which does not desert him throughout the act, sits in an armchair in the garden, waiting to be called. He wears a peaked cap and has a stick. IRINA, KULIGIN with a cross hanging from his neck and without his moustaches, and TUZENBACH are standing on the terrace seeing off FEDOTIK and RODE, who are coming down into the garden; both officers are in service uniform.]
TUZENBACH. [Exchanges kisses with FEDOTIK] You’re a good sort, we got on so well together. [Exchanges kisses with RODE] Once again…. Goodbye, old man!
IRINA. Au revoir!
FEDOTIK. It isn’t au revoir, it’s goodbye; we’ll never meet again!
KULIGIN. Who knows! [Wipes his eyes; smiles] Here I’ve started crying!
IRINA. We’ll meet again sometime.
FEDOTIK. After ten years — or fifteen? We’ll hardly know one another then; we’ll say, “How do you do?” coldly…. [Takes a snapshot] Keep still…. Once more, for the last time.
RODE. [Embracing TUZENBACH] We shan’t meet again…. [Kisses IRINA’S hand] Thank you for everything, for everything!
FEDOTIK. [Grieved] Don’t be in such a hurry!
TUZENBACH. We shall meet again, if God wills it. Write to us. Be sure to write.
RODE. [Looking round the garden] Goodbye, trees! [Shouts] Yo-ho! [Pause] Goodbye, echo!
KULIGIN. Best wishes. Go and get yourselves wives there in Poland…. Your Polish wife will clasp you and call you “kochanku!” [Note: Darling.] [Laughs.]
FEDOTIK. [Looking at the time] There’s less than an hour left. Soleni is the only one of our battery who is going on the barge; the rest of us are going with the main body. Three batteries are leaving to-day, another three tomorrow and then the town will be quiet and peaceful.
TUZENBACH. And terribly dull.
RODE. And where is Maria Sergeyevna?
KULIGIN. Masha is in the garden.
FEDOTIK. We’d like to say goodbye to her.
RODE. Goodbye, I must go, or else I’ll start weeping…. [Quickly embraces KULIGIN and TUZENBACH, and kisses IRINA’S hand] We’ve been so happy here….
FEDOTIK. [To KULIGIN] Here’s a keepsake for you… a notebook with a pencil…. We’ll go to the river from here…. [They go aside and both look round.]
RODE. [Shouts] Yo-ho!
KULIGIN. [Shouts] Goodbye!
[At the back of the stage FEDOTIK and RODE meet MASHA; they say goodbye and go out with her.]
IRINA. They’ve gone…. [Sits on the bottom step of the terrace.]
CHEBUTIKIN. And they forgot to say goodbye to me.
IRINA. But why is that?
CHEBUTIKIN. I just forgot, somehow. Though I’ll soon see them again, I’m going tomorrow. Yes… just one day left. I shall be retired in a year, then I’ll come here again, and finish my life near you. I’ve only one year before I get my pension…. [Puts one newspaper into his pocket and takes another out] I’ll come here to you and change my life radically… I’ll be so quiet… so agree… agreeable, respectable….
IRINA. Yes, you ought to change your life, dear man, somehow or other.
CHEBUTIKIN. Yes, I feel it. [Sings softly.] “Tararaboom-deay….”
KULIGIN. We won’t reform Ivan Romanovitch! We won’t reform him!
CHEBUTIKIN. If only I was apprenticed to you! Then I’d reform.
IRINA. Feodor has shaved his moustache! I can’t bear to look at him.
KULIGIN. Well, what about it?
CHEBUTIKIN. I could tell you what your face looks like now, but it wouldn’t be polite.
KULIGIN. Well! It’s the custom, it’s modus vivendi. Our Director is clean-shaven, and so I too, when I received my inspectorship, had my moustaches removed. Nobody likes it, but it’s all one to me. I’m satisfied. Whether I’ve got moustaches or not, I’m satisfied…. [Sits.]
[At the back of the stage ANDREY is wheeling a perambulator containing a sleeping infant.]
IRINA. Ivan Romanovitch,