The Real Rules: How to Find the Right Man for the Real You. Barbara Angelis De
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she’s playing a game?” men will ask me in disbelief.
Of course a man knows what you’re doing. He may even go along with your game for a while, but in the long run, he’s not going to respect you for it. And if he really doesn’t know what’s going on, how can you respect him? IF A MAN IS STUPID ENOUGH TO FALL FOR OLD RULES GAMES, WHY WOULD YOU WANT HIM?
“Wait a minute,” you might be thinking to yourself. “What about those guys who know what’s going on and like it, men who like women who play games and use the OLD RULES?” As we saw with REAL RULE #3, there are some men who psychologically respond to manipulation. You act indifferent, hard to get, and too busy for him, and suddenly he has to have you. Isn’t this the result you’re hoping for? NO!
Remember: Just because he wants you doesn’t mean he loves you.
I’ll bet you’ve had the experience of wanting something just because you thought you couldn’t get it. Example: You break up with a guy, and discover several weeks later that he’s dating one of your friends. For a moment, you wonder, “Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all … maybe I was too hasty.” If you’re smart, you’ll realize that you don’t really want him back—you just don’t like NOT being able to have him. Your desire is just a reflexive response from your ego. It’s not coming from your heart.
This is exactly what happens to men when you play games with them, games like:
“You Can’t Have Me”
“Maybe I Like You, Maybe I Don’t”
“Try to Guess What I’m Doing on the Nights I’m Not Seeing You”
“Aren’t I Mysterious.”
The men who respond to these games, men who see themselves as the hunter and you as the prey, are men you should stay far away from. Attracting them on purpose is a big mistake.
What’s the alternative to playing games and being manipulative? BEING SMART and BEING APPROPRIATE BY USING THE REAL RULES.
A Real-Life Scenario of How You Can Use the Real Rules to Check Out a Man
THE SITUATION: You’ve just started a relationship with a guy you really like, and you don’t want to be overly excited about sharing your feelings until you know more about him and how he feels. One way to approach this is to use the OLD RULES: never show your enthusiasm when he asks you out, never call him, never return his phone calls, and act nonchalant when he brings you flowers or gifts. In other words, you could play games and TEST HIM.
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