Comfortable Chaos. Carolyn Harvey & Beth Herrild
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example, working may be a large slice of your pie, but it certainly supports your priority to feed and clothe your family, and hopefully it also supports a desire to use your skills and talent for tangible benefits. The question may be: Am I spending the right amount of time on working? That’s a complicated question and the answer will be tied to your unique characteristics, finances, and lifestyle choices. The rest of the book will help you with this issue.
Household chores may be another major portion of your day and for good reason. It takes an enormous amount of time to maintain a home and, possibly, a yard, not to mention performing the role of schedule manager for the family. If these duties are preventing you from spending time on your priorities then this is an area to scrutinize.
If you have any inspirations for ideas that would better align you with your priorities, then go back and jot them next to one of your circle charts. We’ll do more work on this throughout the book and you will gain new insights and ideas that will further shape your plan for spending your time.
Now that you have completed the circle chart exercises and thought about your priorities, it’s time to move on to your co-efficient for chaos.
Your Coefficient for Chaos
What is your personal tolerance for chaos? Maybe you only feel really alive and energized if you are doing several things at once and have a lot going on around you. In other words, you love the thrill of the rapids and will seek them out whenever possible! Maybe you are someone who prefers to work on one project at a time, and keep your surroundings calm and orderly. You really enjoy the pools of calm water and will paddle your way out of the rapids as quickly as possible. Neither of these styles is good or bad or right or wrong. They just are. Different people simply have different levels of tolerance for all of life’s frenetic activity. We call this level of tolerance your “coefficient for chaos” or CFC.
Your personal coefficient for chaos is probably a result of your genetic makeup and the environment in which you grew up. Many people cite their childhood as the factor that shaped their tolerance for chaos and noise. The interesting thing is that the same environment seems to affect different people in a variety of ways. Some people will say that since they grew up in a large and noisy family, they are very used to and comfortable with chaos. Others who came from a similar environment have chosen to have no children, or only one, and are very clear that a noisy chaotic environment is not what they want.
Exercise 3 will help you to plan your ideal course down the river by learning about your coefficient for chaos. Once you know your threshold of chaos, you can make choices and plan your time in a way that best fits your style.
Exercise 3: Determining Your Coefficient for Chaos
In the quiz below, simply circle your answer to each question. Typically, your first reaction is the best indication of your personal tolerances. Try not to overthink your responses as you may end up with an unrealistic picture.
Also, remember that your answers today represent a snapshot in time. You may answer the questions differently on another day or in a different phase of your life. Nevertheless, today’s answers will provide you with some valuable insight.
1. When you get time to yourself, do you tend to:
a) call a friend and chat
b) retreat into solitude
c) a little of each
2. When the phone rings, do you often:
a) hurry to answer by the second or third ring
b) let the machine or voicemail get it
c) depends on what you are doing
3. To relax, do you prefer:
a) going out for a walk or being with friends
b) lying on the couch or reading a book
c) depends on your mood that day
4. When you are in a crowd:
a) you find the people around you fun and energizing
b) plan to leave as soon as possible
c) may stay if it is an enjoyable event
5. When you turn on some music do you:
a) play it loud and often have other things going on
b) play it as background music and prefer it soft
c) depends on your mood
6. Do you:
a) enjoy the freedom of being spontaneous
b) feel best when you have a plan for your day and follow it
c) like some of each
7. Are you usually:
a) late for appointments
b) early
c) right on time
8. Do you prefer having:
a) several projects going at once
b) one project going at a time
c) a couple projects going at once
9. When you sit down at home to watch a movie, do you:
a) have to be doing several other things at the same time
b) sit and only watch the movie
c) sometimes also do another task
Scoring Your Quiz
For each “a” that you circled, give yourself 3 points.
For each “b” you circled, give yourself 1 point.
For each “c” that you circled, give yourself 2 points.
• If your total was 21–27, you are a high CFC.
• If your total was 15–21, you are a mid-range CFC.
• If your total was 9–14, you are a low CFC.
* * *
When you total your scores at the end of the quiz, you’ll determine your coefficient for chaos. Keep in mind that these labels are not meant to pigeonhole you. Your current environment and stress level can affect your score on a particular day. Also, bear in mind that the demarcations are not hard and fast as your CFC falls within a continuum. If your score is near the cutoff point for a particular CFC, you may exhibit tendencies for two CFC types. The CFC score is just meant to give you insight into your preferences and provide you with valuable information when making work/life choices.
The high CFC style
If you scored as having a high CFC, you undoubtedly have a high need for busyness and excitement. You like to have several projects going at once and enjoy the rush of deadlines and commitments. “Everything in moderation” is not your mantra. In fact, if there is not enough chaos, then you will create your own!
Cathy has five children, works at a full-time job, attends school at night, and has a very high CFC. She says, “I have a high tolerance for chaos because I have a low tolerance for boredom!” There definitely is an inverse relationship between a person’s tolerance for boredom and his or her tolerance for chaos.
However, one danger of being a high CFC is that you may also have an overinflated view of what you can handle and are therefore more at risk to crash and burn. You are typically so afraid you are going to miss something that you often don’t hear your inner voice when it is telling you to pull back. It’s all busy, fast-paced fun until it becomes absolutely draining and overwhelming to the point of sheer exhaustion. High CFCs typically don’t pay attention to their inner voice until